Introduction

[Angienic]

Hi. I am looking for support in my 20 year marriage. Husband is threatening divorce over small issue which happens every time we fight. It is a bit rougher tonight. He is treated for bipolar and is much better since then but seems to be getting worse. When looking for support I saw info on BPD and wow it is him. To a T. I don't know where to begin. I never know what is real. Is it the nice guy or mean guy?  The one who says he loves me and will never leave or the one who,hates me and wants a divorce?  Right now he is threatening not to go on our planned vacation and that it is really over this time. I am in so much pain. I don't even know where to begin. THanks for any advice you can give me.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MissyM]

Welcome, sorry that you are in such a bad spot.  The divorce threats are hard to deal with.  There are very good lessons here.  Have you had a time to read any?  The advice that I was given in dealing with my dBPDh and the divorce threats was to just kind of ignore them.  I learned to validate his emotional state without validating ending the relationship and divorce.  I can tell from your post that you are in an immense amount of pain.  Do you have any support IRL?

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Angienic & 

I would also like to welcome you and suggest you check out the links to the right-hand side of this page. It's awful when we live with someone whose moods change so abruptly, and the pain of never knowing if they are happy with us or not is horrible!

How are things today? Is the vacation back on, or is your Husband still upset?

Please keep us in the loop, and let us know what is happening... .We'd love to help