What did your ex present with?

[drummerboy]

My ex admitted straight up that she had Generalised Anxiety disorder and severe depression and those two afflictions I saw close up. Did your ex admit to any ailments when you first met or soon after?

[JohnLove]

Mine admitted nothing. I knew she was in a bad relationship prior. Everybody did. It was extremely abusive situation and they shared 4 children. Her GP diagnosed chronic depression but did not seem to be treating it. I learned of BPD the hard way. She was abusive to me but became very abusive toward my children on the way back home from a family getaway. I left her. She carried on over property or this and that. She started talking about involving the police. I dropped off all her stuff to her and went NC. 2 months later she was hospitalised. This is how I found out. About 18 months from when we first hooked up.

[Infern0]

"depression"

That was all I was told, she was textbook waif. Real up and down moods in the beginning, usually she would be really happy and smiley but sometimes very sad and down but I could always make her feel better, of course "I was the only person who could cheer her up".

Longer we were together the mood swings became more frequent and my ability to cheer her up became less and less.

Subject of bi-polar came up but she used to say "they don't know whats wrong with me"

eventually I got an admission of BPD (after the relationship had collapsed and i'd already worked it out for myself so no shock, still, it was a weird moment when she told me)

[Maternus]

Mine said, that er ex-husband was cruel and has beaten her and she feels like she is not able to have a relationship, needs a therapy. But now she has found me, the love of her life and my love will heal her.

[slimmiller]

My ex said shes 'not' depressed and was very smart about not saying anything that could confirm she was because on several occassions in talking she showed all the symptons and it seemed like the answer to her ailments at the time.

She does have, 'weight issue', goes vegan every other day for to be 'more healthy', is 'lactose intolerant', 'has acid reflux' and the list goes on and on.

Her mom who is more witch BPD, has all those ailments plus IBD (Irritable bowel syndrome) diabetes and is truly overweight, she has fibrybromalgia and a host of other ailments

In both, its more of the current project that they use to distract and mask. So whatever they can use to get the most mileage and sympathy out of who ever might be in the caretake role at the moment is what they use

But neither one is ever willing to actually take any proactive steps in trying to improve. Instead they use diversion tactics

[neverloveagain]

"depression" 

That was all I was told, she was textbook waif. Real up and down moods in the beginning, usually she would be really happy and smiley but sometimes very sad and down but I could always make her feel better, of course "I was the only person who could cheer her up". 

Longer we were together the mood swings became more frequent and my ability to cheer her up became less and less. 

Subject of bi-polar came up but she used to say "they don't know whats wrong with me" 

wow right on the money with mine to she was bipolar or so they thought i knew it was something else. She would always deny it even though 'everyone leaves me in the end'. She pushes everyone away.

[Infern0]

"depression" 

That was all I was told, she was textbook waif. Real up and down moods in the beginning, usually she would be really happy and smiley but sometimes very sad and down but I could always make her feel better, of course "I was the only person who could cheer her up". 

Longer we were together the mood swings became more frequent and my ability to cheer her up became less and less. 

Subject of bi-polar came up but she used to say "they don't know whats wrong with me" 

wow right on the money with mine to she was bipolar or so they thought i knew it was something else. She would always deny it even though 'everyone leaves me in the end'. She pushes everyone away.

Yeah i got told "everyone always abandons me" pretty much confirmation of BPD right there, and that was on the first night we were together!

[drummerboy]

Now that I think about it, mine mentioned bi-polar to me once. Can't recall exactly what she said but something like, they thought I might have BP.

[Hadlee]

"depression"

That was all I was told, she was textbook waif. Real up and down moods in the beginning, usually she would be really happy and smiley but sometimes very sad and down but I could always make her feel better, of course "I was the only person who could cheer her up".

Longer we were together the mood swings became more frequent and my ability to cheer her up became less and less.

Subject of bi-polar came up but she used to say "they don't know whats wrong with me"

eventually I got an admission of BPD (after the relationship had collapsed and i'd already worked it out for myself so no shock, still, it was a weird moment when she told me)

That's pretty much the same as my BPD friend.  Forever saying, "you always know how to make me smile."  In the beginning she said it was depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue.  Bi-polar also came up about a year later, along with mild agoraphobia and social anxiety.  No admission of BPD though.  I don't plan to stick around waiting for that admission either

She ALWAYS had the flu, headaches, sore throat, re-flux, tummy troubles and the list goes on.   

It wasn't until I went to a T a year ago after my friend had a meltdown that the T said it sounded like BPD not bi-polar.  That was the first I had heard of BPD.

[Deeno02]

Not sure. Had Mommy, Daddy issues, Sister issues, relationship issues, was going to therapy when we got together(separated at the time, divorce pending... what was I thinking) on meds for fibro(sure used alot of the meds) and popped xanax like it was cool (Anxiety I believe). Total chaos schedule, total dysfunctional family life, very needy, clingy, used me up as her emotional tampon so now Im in therapy and on meds.

Other than that, she was a peach.

[ShadowIntheNight]

I was going to say nothing, but in reality she was angry all the time, hated her exH who she was in the process of getting a divorce from, was lonely because she had moved to a new town with him and had not developed any close friendships, and only wore black or deep navy clothing because she was that depressed. She also had two toddler children. But that was 10 years ago.

Since then she is more angry at her exH, but thinks she's BMOC at her job and wears clothes that are way too revealing for her field of work. I hope she's depressed as crap at having to prositute herself by going back into the closet after 9.5 years.

[parisian]

Mine presented with this: 'I don't know what's wrong with me' *upset*.

Me: Do you think you should go to the Doctors and find out?

Her: I don't know. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago back in junior high, but I'm not sure now.

       ******

She absolutely knew she had BPD (I didn't),... .

Perhaps she was trying to introduce it to me. I will never know and it doesn't matter now.

[iluminati]

My ex presented with anxiety and atypical depression.  She was diagnosed after psychological counseling prior to gastric bypass.

[Trog]

She admitted that 'idiot doctors' had diagnosed her with bipolar. She doesn't have bipolar so actually she was right that they were wrong. But I have no excuse, her attitude, her behaviour, everything was a red flag but I got love bombed, no, love blitzkrieged and I capitulated far too easily against my better judgement.

She told me, most people tell you, in one way or another, exactly what they are and how they behave, codependents and fixers do not listen. That's how we get into these mess and our friends go... .wTF dude!

[milo1967]

Oh, geez: Anxiety, depression (hospitalized once before meeting me), back pain, head pain, chronic diarrhea... .Addicted to klonopin, on Zoloft, buspar, sleeping pills... .molested repeatedly by her step-grandfather, mom's boyfriends and husbands coming and going... .

Any time we went on a trip she would have a panic attack wherever we were staying, would cry from anxiety and want to go home... .But I was her KISA--except when I denied her anything, in which case I was the devil. Man, how could I have been so blind... .Ten years later the disorder triggered with a vengeance and my descent into hell began.

Now divorced, I am trying to shift my feelings from anger and resentment to pity and sympathy for the sake of my emotional health and for our children. I did love her very much.

[JRT]

Mine contained everything and let me know in very small increments almost as if she was working off of a checklist... .it must have killed her to keep the things that (I came to learn) that consumed her thoughts under her hat until the time was right to bring them to my attention and soften the blow... .often times it was a clumsy, 'under her breath' one word highly embarrassed mention of her problem. 'My son... .' was all that she said at one point when she finally brought up her (then) 16 year old highly troubled son. It was almost as if she was ripping a tooth out, :"must do this, lets get it over with'. I saw her introduce me to unpleasant elements of her life this way. Even meeting her extended family for the first time was a run down of every remotely negative aspect of each persons personality in anticipation that I would not be offended to the extent that I would abandon her.

I understand that she is seeing a T now so perhaps she is self aware now (if she is being honest with them). But the most she would say about herself within the context of a relationship is 'I suck at relationships' (well THAT was true) and after recycles, 'I need to go and see someone'.