The Closure Call

[Heldfast]

Well, 1 month out of breaking our engagement she finally called.I can stop playing detective. It fit true to form, while civil, I owned 50% of the mistakes in our relationship, she acknowledged none of her own. She admitted that she had already been with the ex (happened over two weeks ago, only 2 weeks out of our engagement) and she is moving across country on Tuesday to his city, all the way across country. She acknowledged no faults, blamed me for considering her as "crazy" for believing she is borderline (as therapist has already confirmed). But that's that, she's gone. She told me to stay out of her life, so I will.                                                       

[thatwasthat]

Hey.

I had a very, very similar experience post "breakup." Except for the part that she lied about moving across the country, although it was obvious. Confronted with it she was simply silent then got extremely verbally violent.

I'm pretty busy right now. Just wanted to chime in and say that, although it might not seem that way right now, the phone call might help you get over the hill in the longer run. You'll feel better much sooner than you might expect right now.

[Mutt]

Hi Heldfast,



I'm so sorry to hear that

She told you to stay out of her life then why call?

How are you making out with the news?

[Heldfast]

Like I said, no more playing detective, this is best I can do for closure.

[Mutt]

I'm sorry.

There's black and white thinking, dissociating and lack of impulse control from her.

What she says / feels now may change at any time.

[cehlers55]

and she is moving across country on Tuesday to his city,                                                    

Sounds just like my ex. Good job taking the high road.

[myself]

That's a long way to go to try to run from herself.

[Heldfast]

From the Virgin Islands, to Seattle, in the winter, can't run much further.