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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
February 14th is coming.
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Topic: February 14th is coming. (Read 856 times)
Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520
February 14th is coming.
«
on:
February 04, 2015, 04:24:16 PM »
Y'all ready for this?
Recycle attempts are likely inbound. Time to batten down the hatches or better yet get out of town for a couple of days.
Good luck to us all
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mitchell16
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Posts: 829
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #1 on:
February 04, 2015, 04:28:21 PM »
I hope not. But I get this strange feeling your right. I havent heard a thing from mine in almost a month. It is a all time record.
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Mr Hollande
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 631
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #2 on:
February 04, 2015, 04:39:40 PM »
That weekend is booked with my new girl and although none of us have much money to spare this month we aim to spoil each other. Miss BPD can't join us.
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Trog
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 698
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #3 on:
February 04, 2015, 04:43:54 PM »
Coincidentally I am on a trip with 19 women on that day to a vineyard!
Couldn't have planned that better.
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.cup.car
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 251
C:\Papyrus
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #4 on:
February 04, 2015, 06:24:32 PM »
Quote from: Infern0 on February 04, 2015, 04:24:16 PM
Y'all ready for this?
Recycle attempts are likely inbound. Time to batten down the hatches or better yet get out of town for a couple of days.
Good luck to us all
Thank you based court order.
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NYMike
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 222
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #5 on:
February 04, 2015, 06:35:34 PM »
Quote from: .cup.car on February 04, 2015, 06:24:32 PM
Quote from: Infern0 on February 04, 2015, 04:24:16 PM
Y'all ready for this?
Recycle attempts are likely inbound. Time to batten down the hatches or better yet get out of town for a couple of days.
Good luck to us all
Thank you based court order.
In NY I have the OOP.This law here is a joke.I can not ''contact'' her in anyway or I will be in contempt of court.But she can ''contact'' me at anytime.She has texted me twice and called 3 times since she put the OOP on me.
I only answered the 1 call.Sorry I did that.She was all hate and anger,so I hung up.
I am glad I have this OOP so I will not bother calling,texting or reaching out.The OOP helps me detach...
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jedimaster
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married - 34 yrs; Separated - 2 weeks; Divorced - ASAP
Posts: 329
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #6 on:
February 04, 2015, 06:36:35 PM »
Fun-- my uBPDw's birthday is the 16th and our anniversary is the 20th. And tomorrow I go to meet with a L for an initial consultation. I'm still in stealth mode, doing nothing to tip my hand until our remodeling project is complete and the house is ready to sell, and the L says it's OK to go ahead. So I get to hone my acting skills through a whole set of romantic holidays.
She almost made it easy--she asked if she took the weekend out of town to a family cabin would I be able to handle the family errands, etc. (Who goes out of town by themselves on Valentine's Day?) I was totally fine with it
and was looking forward to a peaceful weekend without having to watch my step or worry about anything. Turns out the family cabin is winterized and won't be open until March... .
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"Do. Or do not. There is no try." | "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” | "Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." ~ Yoda
Heartbroken Eagle
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 71
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #7 on:
February 04, 2015, 07:04:40 PM »
Bad memories on Valentines Day. 2 years ago I found out about my ex fiancee affair, just over a week later we were over!
This year I will be with the one person I know that loves me and I love totally back (My son) and be sharing it with 26,000 others... .
At a football match... .
Meanwhile, My exBPD will be having her first Valentines with her new husband.
I could'nt be happier!
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hoaianhcameron
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 37
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #8 on:
February 04, 2015, 07:35:11 PM »
Arrrrhhhh, it's already hard for me, just got out 3 months. We moved to Japan together; 6 months later, he stole my money, had an affair with a Japanese girl, i kicked him out of the apartment, h*ell of dramas after (blame game, back stabbing both me and that girl, negotiation,... .) and later, i found out he moved in immediately with the girl right after i kicked him out.
I blocked all possible contact already, plus he said he turned the page so i guess i definitely have peace... .alone!
Man, life in Japan is just hard!
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charred
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1206
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #9 on:
February 04, 2015, 07:44:08 PM »
Last recycle attempt was about a week ago... .
Sent a cryptic note about "It was all about blame"... at 4:30am in the morning.
So I get up at 7am, and I have 7 sheriffs cars surrounding my house.
Near heart attack... thinking... ."What in the world did she do or say?"
Went outside, they ignored me... I drove away... very nervous.
Came back, they were gone... .and I heard on radio that store had been robbed at gunpoint and they headed toward my neighborhood... wasn't me they were looking for... WOW.
So... it all did serve to remind me that I don't want her type of excitement back in my life... .mind went to her immediately!
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ADecadeLost
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 156
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #10 on:
February 04, 2015, 08:52:20 PM »
Glad she lives out of the country. V-day on the 14th. Anniversary on the 19th. Ugh... .
On a positive note, there's a basketball game on the 14th I really want to watch. At least that means I have plans (ie. sports bar/beer/wings).
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eyvindr
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: NC
Posts: 900
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #11 on:
February 04, 2015, 09:27:41 PM »
Damn. It is, isn't it? Really, I'm encouraged that I don't have to deal with the obligatory silliness of that day -- but it's a good reminder to at least have my guard up. Just in case.
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"Being deceived in effect takes away your right to make accurate life choices based on truth." -- waverider
"Don't try the impossible, as you're sure to become well and truly stuck and require recovery." -- Vintage Land Rover 4X4 driving instructional video
eyvindr
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: NC
Posts: 900
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #12 on:
February 04, 2015, 09:35:22 PM »
NYMike --
Interesting.
Quote from: NYMike on February 04, 2015, 06:35:34 PM
In NY I have the OOP.This law here is a joke.I can not ''contact'' her in anyway or I will be in contempt of court.But she can ''contact'' me at anytime.She has texted me twice and called 3 times since she put the OOP on me.
I only answered the 1 call.Sorry I did that.She was all hate and anger,so I hung up.
I am glad I have this OOP so I will not bother calling, texting or reaching out.The OOP helps me detach...
You probably already know this but, wrt to OOPs (assuming they're similar to PFAs or harassment complaints?), if the plaintiff breaks NC, it kind of shoots a hole in their case, no? Like, why have an OOP issued if you still intend on having contact with the person?
I had LE warn my ex to stop calling, txtng and emailing me incessantly -- because I really wasn't able to ignore it, it was disruptive, and -- silly as this sounds -- I know it wasn't helping her move on, either. Similar to what you said, I'm glad I did it, too -- not only did it stop her direct onslaught of non-stop verbal abuse (seriously -- it went on
daily
for two months
straight
), it serves as a check and balance when I have weak moments. Because, if I were to cave in and reach out, she would interpret it as game on, and would pick up where she left off (she's done that before), and LE wouldn't take me seriously if I went back to them with the same complaint.
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"Being deceived in effect takes away your right to make accurate life choices based on truth." -- waverider
"Don't try the impossible, as you're sure to become well and truly stuck and require recovery." -- Vintage Land Rover 4X4 driving instructional video
garthaz
Offline
Posts: 53
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #13 on:
February 04, 2015, 10:20:26 PM »
About a 50/50 chance for a very good night, or a complete melt down.
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Ghost733
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 23
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #14 on:
February 04, 2015, 10:59:09 PM »
Quote from: Trog on February 04, 2015, 04:43:54 PM
Coincidentally I am on a trip with 19 women on that day to a vineyard!
Couldn't have planned that better.
Ayyyyy maybe you tell the rest of us how to manage that?
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ReluctantSurvivor
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 221
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #15 on:
February 04, 2015, 11:30:53 PM »
Lord I hope not. She has a fresh source to keep her busy. It might be a new record if this one goes up in flames before the 14th.
I am looking forward to a calm day with my dog and maybe spending time with some of my single friends. Ah serenity.
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Angry obsessive thoughts about another weaken your state of mind and well being. If you must have revenge, then take it by choosing to be happy and let them go forever.
― Gary Hopkins
Deeno02
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #16 on:
February 05, 2015, 08:23:10 AM »
Nope, not worried about it. As far as I know, shes still with good old college buddy. Im not going to lie and say I wont feel a little down that day, but I wont be spending $120.00 either!
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willieb4
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 10
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #17 on:
February 05, 2015, 03:49:03 PM »
I'll be celebrating 60 days of NC on the 14th.
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jhkbuzz
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1639
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #18 on:
February 05, 2015, 04:12:55 PM »
How strange that you posted this right before she contacted you!
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JohnLove
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 571
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #19 on:
February 05, 2015, 07:54:25 PM »
Oh, jhkbuzz... .they are not THAT predictable... .
... .or are they?.
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JohnLove
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 571
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #20 on:
February 05, 2015, 07:59:52 PM »
Quote from: charred on February 04, 2015, 07:44:08 PM
Last recycle attempt was about a week ago... .
Sent a cryptic note about "It was all about blame"... at 4:30am in the morning.
So I get up at 7am, and I have 7 sheriffs cars surrounding my house.
Near heart attack... thinking... ."What in the world did she do or say?"
Went outside, they ignored me... I drove away... very nervous.
Came back, they were gone... .and I heard on radio that store had been robbed at gunpoint and they headed toward my neighborhood... wasn't me they were looking for... WOW.
So... it all did serve to remind me that I don't want her type of excitement back in my life... .mind went to her immediately!
Oh dear... .charred. My heart sunk just reading that. I was expecting the worst. Like you were typing that from hospital after you had been mistakenly shot by police!.
Unfortunately, I lived that with my exBPD. OK, so there wasn't 7 squad cars at once... .there was 7 different squad cars at 7 different times in 7 weeks. I ended up having to leave on the last time after I was arrested on false accusations.
I think you just triggered me... and as we say in Australia. THANKS MATE.
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downwhim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 707
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #21 on:
February 05, 2015, 08:42:29 PM »
My son is driving in from college to work two days and stay at my house. He and I will go to sushi that night. He is the perfect date, kind, loving and mine... .
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eyvindr
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: NC
Posts: 900
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #22 on:
February 05, 2015, 09:04:56 PM »
downwhim -- that's
awesome
. My best V-days have been the ones I've spent with my son, too. Enjoy each others company.
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"Being deceived in effect takes away your right to make accurate life choices based on truth." -- waverider
"Don't try the impossible, as you're sure to become well and truly stuck and require recovery." -- Vintage Land Rover 4X4 driving instructional video
Rifka
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 540
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #23 on:
February 06, 2015, 08:14:40 AM »
Quote from: willieb4 on February 05, 2015, 03:49:03 PM
I'll be celebrating 60 days of NC on the 14th.
Congrats on your upcoming 2 months! The first two could be very trying and exhausting. Keep going strong, it does start to get easier as time goes by.
Do something for yourself that day if you can.
Rifka
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Dance like nobody is watching. Love like you have never been hurt before.
NonAverageJoe
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 125
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #24 on:
February 08, 2015, 04:06:53 PM »
I have had 100% no contact again for three weeks today, she's blocked, I have a new gf too.
I could most likely call my ex anytime and she would want to talk to me, see me etc. Although her last message to me was pretty angry it was clearly the dysregulation settling in when I refused to talk to her, give her validation and I had a friend tell her to throw away a check that I had reissued.
I've found myself thinking of the good times. It's a trap. I had to get treated for Chlamydia that I had no symptoms of/ tested clean of when I first broke up because I gave it to the new girlfriend (I'm her second sexual partner and she's the real deal) . I could not speak to my ex like an equal without a laundry list of unlikely events occurring first.
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enlighten me
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #25 on:
February 08, 2015, 04:42:44 PM »
Doubt I'll get a recycle attempt as she has a weekend planned with her new bf.
wish there was a valentines spam filter on my email. Get about ten a day with amazing valentines gift ideas
.
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jhkbuzz
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1639
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #26 on:
February 08, 2015, 05:05:42 PM »
Quote from: enlighten me on February 08, 2015, 04:42:44 PM
Doubt I'll get a recycle attempt as she has a weekend planned with her new bf.
How do you know ^?
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enlighten me
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Posts: 3289
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #27 on:
February 08, 2015, 05:17:22 PM »
How do I know I wont get a recycle or that she has a weekend planned?
She doesnt do recycles and ive got our son that weekend as she's going away.
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jhkbuzz
Offline
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1639
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #28 on:
February 08, 2015, 08:40:29 PM »
Quote from: enlighten me on February 08, 2015, 05:17:22 PM
How do I know I wont get a recycle or that she has a weekend planned?
She doesnt do recycles and ive got our son that weekend as she's going away.
That she's going away, I mean... .that sounds like TMI
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enlighten me
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Posts: 3289
Re: February 14th is coming.
«
Reply #29 on:
February 09, 2015, 12:39:51 AM »
Its weird. She will say she is going away but has never mentioned her boyfriend who she has been with for nearly six months.
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