Came across one of my Ex's movies and now I'm in a dark pit

[Jmanster]

Hey guys, I was browsing Netflix just a few minutes ago and I came across a movie that my ex-girlfriend starred in, as soon as I saw her face right on the thumbnail of the movie I completely broke down and I went into being an emotional wreck. For those of you don't know already, my ex borderline personality disordered girlfriend is an actress. So seeing her face on Netflix really broke me down and it made me think about the past. It's so difficult for me to think about this now. It has officially been five weeks since I have made any form of contact with her. I just feel like I'm an emotional wreck right now. However, I'm not crying, I'm just really trapped in my thoughts right now. Do you guys have any advice? And have you ever experienced something like this that can trigger such emotional despair? Thanks guys :-)

[hurting300]

I want to see this movie.

[Jmanster]

I would love to tell you the name of the movie, but I have to protect her... .

[Blimblam]

Jman,

My ex isn't a movie star but she does look a lot like my favorite pornstar. Which I found triggering, and unfair in its own cruel way.  But in general I found myself triggered by memories of her often and right back into the pit. What helped me a lot was watching the film dark knight rises at that point.  As bane and catwoman and raz alguhls daughter and the pit are all analogies for borderline personality disorder and the hell it put batman through.

[JohnLove]

I want to see this movie.

My bet is that it is not a movie relating to BPD. 

[enlighten me]

When I married my ex wife we moved to Germany. A few years ago after we had split I took my son there. Everything was triggering. Bakeries, drinks, road signs everything. It all reminded meof being with her. A very emotional weekend.

[OnceConfused]

Five weeks are not a long way out yet. So you may have to endure another episode of longing for the past

[.cup.car]

I feel bad that the OP has to endure a few silly comments, although I too sort of want to know what movie it is.

But it must be very hard for the OP, especially as his ex was an actor, to know her "outside of the red carpet" where she can be incredibly heartless and cruel. Especially since attempting to speak out about it would land him in such situations as "you're just jealous she broke up with you".

[Jmanster]

I actually broke up with her... .it was how she treated me after the break up that caused me so much pain... .

[Tim300]

OP --  I think being just 5 weeks out is tough.  I think when you're 5 months out and you've done a lot of reading about BPD and how truly disordered these people are, you will be frustrated by the experience but also relieved that she's out of the picture and that the outcome wasn't worse.   

[GrowThroughIt]

Hey man, I hope you're feeling better. 

Look, you broke up with her. You have your reasons for that. You know them as well as anyone, and there is no way you would have broke up with her if she was actually worth it.

Be glad she treated you the way she did after you broke up, because it shows just how worthless she truly is. I'll give you an example, I tried breaking up with my exBPDgf and she ended up roping me back in, by agreeing that she has been in the wrong, and that I should help her with her issues. What did she do 6 hours later? Break up with me. I was a wreck after that. I continued to pour my heart out to her, only to have her go from hot to cold and throw things back in my face. The breakup was messy at first and took a week. But do you know what? I'm so glad she did treat me the way she did, because it just shows she really is not worth my time or effort.

Stay strong man. We're all here for you.

[Jmanster]

I needed that... .thank you

[cloudten]

I actually broke up with her... .it was how she treated me after the break up that caused me so much pain... .

Who she was/is post breakup is who she really is, in my opinion. What it was in the beginning wasn't real... .who she was in the beginning wasn't real. It sucks. It's sad. It's demented. But when she showed you who she really was, believe it.

Maybe stay off netflix? if she isn't an author, maybe try reading. or maybe video games. or maybe just post here.

You can do it! Just keep swimming. You'll get out of the riptide!