Shattered and broken. Nothing prepares you for divorce

[Moselle]

I've been on the staying board for 1 year. I have fought to save my BPD/NPD marriage. But it is over now. After 15 years and three childen, I realise that it was a delusion. The whole thing. A fantasy land.

And I'm just embarking on a seriously conflictual divorce. She is going through the statosphere

[enlighten me]

Hi Mosselle

Sorry that its come to this. The hard part of divorce is that you dont want to hurt them as you still have feelings for them. I bent over backwards and walked away with nothing. My ex guilt tripped me using the kids as a weapon and I buckled almost every time.

It may sound harsh but you need to stand up for yourself and not back down. You need to engage the rational side of your brain and try to shut off the emotional side.

You need to be in a position that your kids can see youve been fair without compromising your future. Its no good putting yourself in a position that you cant afford or accomodate your kids.

No doubt she will paint a very bad picture of you to try and get as much as she can. Try not to take this to heart. She will be in full on survival mode and like a rat backed into a corner will fight with all she has got.

All the best

EM

[going places]

I'm so sorry.

At the 22 year mark, my ex's mask fell off.

I spent 3 more years trying to make it work.

Married 25 years, 3 adults children... .

Ex is a monster. Abusive.

I have been divorced for 8 months.

It's hard; and I am sorry you have to go thru this.

[Mutt]

Hi moselle,

I'm sorry to hear that. Divorce is tough.

Hang in there.


----Mutt