Did anybody have one that they never heard from again after the breakup?

[JRT]

Most of them seem to return since pwBPD cannot fully detach from a relationship... .some within hours, some days, weeks or months and others even years later. Did anyone have one that disappeared for good never to be heard from again after the breakup?

[misty_red]

I believe the more narcissistic they are they won't try to recycle. I also believe that my exBPDgf is one of them.

[apple2]

Most of them seem to return since pwBPD cannot fully detach from a relationship... .some within hours, some days, weeks or months and others even years later. Did anyone have one that disappeared for good never to be heard from again after the breakup?

Hey JRT,

I looked forward everyday in the past to his return. Now, I wish he would never have been back. 

I had so much sympathy for him. I missed the good version of him so much. But after he came back, he became so incredible. I began to doubt whether the bad one is his nature, while the good one is just a fake. I can't look back the good moments anymore. It seems that everything is a lie.

I regret to have contact with him, to talk about our relationship, to ask him questions. I hoped things would finally go into the good direction. But I can not see his conscience anymore. 

My love is dead.

If you let me choose, I would choose to have no contact and keep a beautiful memory.

[nowwhatz]

I wish it would happen to me... .the never returning.

[raisins3142]

After mine knew I was serious, she stopped trying to contact me.

[Sheed]

After mine knew I was serious, she stopped trying to contact me.

Same here.

[love4meNOTu]

Didn't hear from xhwbp, and honestly I hope I never do. He is not a good person. I know it's probably not fair to categorize a mentally ill person as evil, but I've never experienced such evil and abuse and i never want it around me again.

[sirensong65]

I have publically "outted" mine and will continue to do so.  So, he trys hard NOT to engage because he knows everytime he does, I will harden my campaign.

Sorry, I have ZERO compassion for him.  He has destroyed SO many women and we watch him continue to do so.  And I contact each new victim I get wind of... .I am like the hounds of hell on his heels.

If he is going to continue to lie, hurt and cheat on women who do nothing but trust and treat him well, I will continue to hold him accountable IN PUBLIC.

But, to answer the question on his pattern, he normally uses, discards and never looks back.  Now, he is being forced to and he doesn't like what he has to see and more importantly, that WHO he really is is now glaring back at him and to all that thought they knew him.

Hi, my name is Karma.    Messed with the wrong girl.

[Infared]

Mine does not "return". (i.e. implore a recycle).   :)uring the first year she was doing whacky drive-byes, etc... .Just crazy.  Now, every couple of years, if she is alone she will attempt to  "run-into-me"... . She is still with replacement... so my dignity and self-esteem will not allow me to have some phony interaction as she has never admitted to the cheating , lying, etc., or any of her behaviors and the whole cheating and abandonment (I can't call it a break-up) was totally blamed on me?   So, when this happens, and I am on my toes... .I just avoid it anyway that I can.

If they are together and I run into them... .there is just no telling what the behavior will be.  I can guarantee that it will be immature. Either abusive or whacky or who knows. I have no idea why she does this... .I can't fathom it... These are two people in their mid-40's, mind you.   Shows me how unhealthy their relationship is, though... .What adults act like that? I guess if they had never treated me the way they did back there, they would not have to act so bizarre now? Not sure.

In either scenario, together or alone, I usually stay even (no drama, etc.) and  just try to find a door or move away to a safe place.  There is nothing healthy there for me, anyway I cut it.  Still upsets me emotionally, though... .but I do my best to not be part of the problem.

[.cup.car]

I have publically "outted" mine and will continue to do so.  So, he trys hard NOT to engage because he knows everytime he does, I will harden my campaign.

Sorry, I have ZERO compassion for him.  He has destroyed SO many women and we watch him continue to do so.  And I contact each new victim I get wind of... .I am like the hounds of hell on his heels.

If he is going to continue to lie, hurt and cheat on women who do nothing but trust and treat him well, I will continue to hold him accountable IN PUBLIC.

But, to answer the question on his pattern, he normally uses, discards and never looks back.  Now, he is being forced to and he doesn't like what he has to see and more importantly, that WHO he really is is now glaring back at him and to all that thought they knew him.

Hi, my name is Karma.    Messed with the wrong girl.

I like you.

[sirensong65]

I have publically "outted" mine and will continue to do so.  So, he trys hard NOT to engage because he knows everytime he does, I will harden my campaign.

Sorry, I have ZERO compassion for him.  He has destroyed SO many women and we watch him continue to do so.  And I contact each new victim I get wind of... .I am like the hounds of hell on his heels.

If he is going to continue to lie, hurt and cheat on women who do nothing but trust and treat him well, I will continue to hold him accountable IN PUBLIC.

But, to answer the question on his pattern, he normally uses, discards and never looks back.  Now, he is being forced to and he doesn't like what he has to see and more importantly, that WHO he really is is now glaring back at him and to all that thought they knew him.

Hi, my name is Karma.    Messed with the wrong girl.

I like you.

  Just trying to keep the streets free of trash.  Dating is tough enough.

[thatwasthat]

I have publically "outted" mine and will continue to do so.  So, he trys hard NOT to engage because he knows everytime he does, I will harden my campaign.

Sorry, I have ZERO compassion for him.  He has destroyed SO many women and we watch him continue to do so.  And I contact each new victim I get wind of... .I am like the hounds of hell on his heels.

If he is going to continue to lie, hurt and cheat on women who do nothing but trust and treat him well, I will continue to hold him accountable IN PUBLIC.

But, to answer the question on his pattern, he normally uses, discards and never looks back.  Now, he is being forced to and he doesn't like what he has to see and more importantly, that WHO he really is is now glaring back at him and to all that thought they knew him.

Hi, my name is Karma.    Messed with the wrong girl.

I like you.

Me too, . Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

[Technique]

Rather than taking the two week break I suggested on us working things out individually she elected to go out and find someone else. Although, thinking back, she had been acting weird for a few weeks, so I imagine she was in the process of showing me the door.

I was gutted when I figured it out when I eventually picked my stuff up, but I'm ecstatic I truly sussed her out for who she is. However, during those two weeks (where like a madman I assumed she would be missing me, sitting by her phone waiting for me to call etc) I was able to establish that I had spent the last year in a 'relationship' with a personality disordered woman.

Her last contact was an email around two week later, trying to draw me back in.

My response was not particularly polite, but I continue to feel good about it... Why? Because she hasn't tried since.

Stay strong peeps! 

[hurting300]

Not sure why just about everyone on this thinks a sociopath or narcissist won't try to return...   they do try to return. They return for supply. Read support forums for people who have relationships with a narcissist... .They return... this is a disorder with a broad spectrum. Not all of them act alike, and it took me a long time to realize that. They may play by the same book but they all play the game by their own rules. Set them free and don't look back.

[willtimeheal]

In the past mine has come back... .but this time I don't think she will. It has been five months since the break up and three months since she last tried to contact me. According to her FB her life is fabulous and she is loving life with the replacement... .Good. My life is getting better and I am getting stronger and stronger. I know everyone of her little secrets and everything that she lied about and all about her messed up life. She won't come back because then she would have to face the shame.  And that is one thing she cannot handle... .shame.  There is no supply left for her here... .only a mirror for her to view her shame. She's gone!

[Technique]

I know everyone of her little secrets and everything that she lied about and all about her messed up life. She won't come back because then she would have to face the shame.  And that is one thing she cannot handle... .shame.  There is no supply left for her here... .only a mirror for her to view her shame. She's gone!

Exactly the same here.

It was not until we had split that a friend of mine informed me that he knew her and her activities before and during our relationship. The past is the past, yes, but she lied about so much.

I do not blame him for not saying anything. I wouldn't have listened.

My final message to her was that I knew what a skilled liar she was and that I was on to all her secrets.

As you state, if she was to make an attempt to contact me again she would have to face all those facts. It ain't going to happen. Should whatever she be in now fall apart she will source from someone before me, or simply head into the west end of London on a Saturday evening and grab herself some attention from whoever.

She will either find someone to give her the required attention, get bored with the standard 'loving' relationship, then go find someone unavailable she can 'long for'...

or find someone unavailable, who she can 'long for', then source someone else to give her the 'love'  or required attention... .

Rince and repeat, over and over again.

[Deeno02]

God I hope she stays gone for good. Bad enough I will have to see her at my sons VB games... .yuck... .

[raisins3142]

I know everyone of her little secrets and everything that she lied about and all about her messed up life. She won't come back because then she would have to face the shame.  And that is one thing she cannot handle... .shame.  There is no supply left for her here... .only a mirror for her to view her shame. She's gone!

Exactly the same here.

It was not until we had split that a friend of mine informed me that he knew her and her activities before and during our relationship. The past is the past, yes, but she lied about so much.

I do not blame him for not saying anything. I wouldn't have listened.

My final message to her was that I knew what a skilled liar she was and that I was on to all her secrets.

As you state, if she was to make an attempt to contact me again she would have to face all those facts. It ain't going to happen. Should whatever she be in now fall apart she will source from someone before me, or simply head into the west end of London on a Saturday evening and grab herself some attention from whoever.

She will either find someone to give her the required attention, get bored with the standard 'loving' relationship, then go find someone unavailable she can 'long for'...

or find someone unavailable, who she can 'long for', then source someone else to give her the 'love'  or required attention... .

Rince and repeat, over and over again.

Reminds me of some texts between my ex and her best friends that were exchanged during our first break up (yeah, I snooped her phone because she is a shady liar).

My ex said that she just wanted to be loved and was lonely and missed the sex, etc.  She never once said something like "I miss raisins3142.  He had great qualities as a person.  I still love him." 

No, it was entirely about her missing things that I gave her.  I could have well been a human like robot.

[Infared]

I know everyone of her little secrets and everything that she lied about and all about her messed up life. She won't come back because then she would have to face the shame.  And that is one thing she cannot handle... .shame.  There is no supply left for her here... .only a mirror for her to view her shame. She's gone!

Exactly the same here.

It was not until we had split that a friend of mine informed me that he knew her and her activities before and during our relationship. The past is the past, yes, but she lied about so much.

I do not blame him for not saying anything. I wouldn't have listened.

My final message to her was that I knew what a skilled liar she was and that I was on to all her secrets.

As you state, if she was to make an attempt to contact me again she would have to face all those facts. It ain't going to happen. Should whatever she be in now fall apart she will source from someone before me, or simply head into the west end of London on a Saturday evening and grab herself some attention from whoever.

She will either find someone to give her the required attention, get bored with the standard 'loving' relationship, then go find someone unavailable she can 'long for'...

or find someone unavailable, who she can 'long for', then source someone else to give her the 'love'  or required attention... .

Rince and repeat, over and over again.

Reminds me of some texts between my ex and her best friends that were exchanged during our first break up (yeah, I snooped her phone because she is a shady liar).

My ex said that she just wanted to be loved and was lonely and missed the sex, etc.  She never once said something like "I miss raisins3142.  He had great qualities as a person.  I still love him."  

No, it was entirely about her missing things that I gave her.  I could have well been a human like robot.

Rejoice in the PURE JOY of not having that in your life anymore! WOO HOO!