I believe I was suffering from PTSD by the end of my relationship. I didnt get treatment and worked through my issues on my own. I was in the army and also worked in hostile enviroments so was quite aware of the signs and symptoms. From personal experience and what ive read PTSD has a lot to do with how personally you take the trauma. I have witnesses this at first hand when during a rocket attack one of my friends lost it. While all around we were lying on the floor scared but calm he was freaking out. He felt that he was the target. This weighed on his mind. While everyone else saw it as a random attempt to kill anyone he took it personally. You see this with drone operators sat in Nevada who get PTSD from a mission thousands of miles away. The take it personally that they didnt do enough to prevent an innocent casualty.
PTSD isnt something to be afraid of being diagnosed with and certainly not something to be embarrassed about. I took my exs treatment of me personally and this self blame was what led me to getting PTSD. I didnt take the attacks in Iraq personally and never had any issues.
This was very helpful to read and makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much!