"I don't need to justify myself or my Actions to You" (Self-Righteousness)

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So I'm not really sure if this is the right part of the forums to be posting this question, but I wanted to know if anyone has heard this statement before, or something along those lines, and what it could be a signal of.

Here's my whole story: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=271943.0

I don't want anything to be taken out of context.

I'm 19 years old, so is my uBPDexgf. Like most people of our generation, we texted a TON. This is where she really had control over me, where most of my verbal abuse (including silent treatment) came from.

Sometimes, over text message,  I would directly confront my ex with time signatures, proof, etc. of exactly how she had manipulated me.

And more often than not, her answer was (and increasingly became) "I don't have to justify myself to you"

She became extremely self-righteous. When confronted with direct evidence, this was her response.

Is this common for BPD? Or more narcissistic?

Has anyone else encountered this statement? This sort of self-righteousness in High-functioning BPDs?

[Reecer1588]

So I'm not really sure if this is the right part of the forums to be posting this question, but I wanted to know if anyone has heard this statement before, or something along those lines, and what it could be a signal of.

Here's my whole story: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=271943.0

I don't want anything to be taken out of context.

I'm 19 years old, so is my uBPDexgf. Like most people of our generation, we texted a TON. This is where she really had control over me, where most of my verbal abuse (including silent treatment) came from.

Sometimes, over text message,  I would directly confront my ex with time signatures, proof, etc. of exactly how she had manipulated me.

And more often than not, her answer was (and increasingly became) "I don't have to justify myself to you"

She became extremely self-righteous. When confronted with direct evidence, this was her response.

Is this common for BPD? Or more narcissistic?

Has anyone else encountered this statement? This sort of self-righteousness in High-functioning BPDs?

[wavelife]

ha, yep!

My wife would often say, I can justify everything I have done but I do not have to justify it to you.

She would manipulate fact and even biblical scripture to justify anything... .at the end it was just more manipulation and lies.

[thatwasthat]

She never explicitly used these words, but she didn't have to... .She was way too good at bringing this very point across otherwise.

Also very popular: counter accusations.

I could almost physically feel how she started spinning when confronted with logic. One would expect that someone at least recognizes the absolute logic and then switches to partly admitting to spin around. Not so much if you deal with someone with that level of insanity, absolutely unable to even "lie"  logically.  

Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations

If you really go to the bottom of it, strip all these discussions and arguments of all the "grown-up verbiage"... .What is left... .A child being caught red handed.

[thatwasthat]

Also... .Thinking back... .

When faced with something undeniable she just confronted me with something I did or was doing. Always something absolutely outlandish and basically impossible to prove otherwise.

That way you get caught up in explaining yourself instead of her having to do so.

"Me cheating? YOU are trying to get back together with your ex! "

The fact that we had just gotten married two weeks earlier, that my ex was living on a different continent, I hadn't seen her in years, had other gfs in between... .Didn't matter.

"YOU WANT THE PIE AND EAT IT TOO."

LMAO.

[raisins3142]

Anyone that states "I don't have to justify my actions to you" or "I can do whatever I'd like" are absolutely correct.

However, we are also free.  We are free to walk if they cross our boundaries, just as they are free to cross our boundaries.

[Tibbles]

My ex was very self righteous. Never said he doesn't have to justify himself - Loved giving long explanations of why he was right all the time. Loved those monologues - NOT.

[goateeki]

Anyone that states "I don't have to justify my actions to you" or "I can do whatever I'd like" are absolutely correct.

However, we are also free.  We are free to walk if they cross our boundaries, just as they are free to cross our boundaries.

Raisins, again I commend you on your approach to this.  You seem to really understand the disorder and really have your act together.  Great statements.

[Mutt]

She became extremely self-righteous. When confronted with direct evidence, this was her response.

Is this common for BPD? Or more narcissistic?

Has anyone else encountered this statement? This sort of self-righteousness in High-functioning BPDs?

My ex partner displays the same traits.

If I present logic, facts and proof; she dissociates by way of lying and thus alters events, reality, and remembers things differently.

Dissociation has many forms and is a common coping mechanism with a pwBPD. If facts don't match her feelings she'll alter reality to match her feelings.