Do they every contact you out of the blue? (Cont'd)

[Reecer1588]

Same idea as the previous thread with the same question... .Here's my story in context "https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=271943.0"

To sum up, my uBPDexgf is 19 years old, goes to a different college. We had a textbook "bad breakup" she accused me of being a stalker, threatened a harassment suit... .Etc. so i stopped chasing her. It's been 3 weeks now. She certainly acts like this is what she wanted.

Same premise, in your estimations? Does she contact me again out of the blue?

[JRT]

I'm 5 months into it... .crickets. Closure would be nice... .wouldn't mind tearing her head off while I'm at it.

[Reecer1588]

I'm 5 months into it... .crickets. Closure would be nice... .wouldn't mind tearing her head off while I'm at it.

5 months? Was it her or you who ORIGINALLY broke off contact?

[JRT]

She did... .I went out of town for work and she moved out while I was gone... .no fight, no disagreement (we NEVER argued - she was a waif/hermit)... .just 'poof'... .sent me a text informing me that our relationship was over and then blocked me from any type of contact you can imagine... .

[drummerboy]

Ultimately, does it really matter? Don't take this the wrong way but to wonder about that sort of implies that you are still hanging on, hoping for something. If she's your ex, it's over and eventually you must move on. Life starts NOW!

[Reecer1588]

Ultimately, does it really matter? Don't take this the wrong way but to wonder about that sort of implies that you are still hanging on, hoping for something. If she's your ex, it's over and eventually you must move on. Life starts NOW!

wish i had this mental strength right now

[JRT]

DB... .for many, especially those that are still in the throes and wake of the b/u, understanding what just happened as well as soliciting opinions from others in terms of what to expect or not expect is beneficial to the healing process. I know for sure that it has helped me in the past and continues to do so. If it were so easy as flip the 'doesn't matter' switch, most of us would not be here.

[drummerboy]

But that's my point JRT, the goal is to get to a place where it doesn't matter. We have to work hard to detach. You are never going to get any closure from a mentally ill person, hell they don't even know why they did what they did. I'm sure some contact you out of the blue and you never ever hear from others, how could anyone predict what yours or anyone else's will do? Sitting around wondering if they'll ever contact you does you no good, believe me. I've been there and it just keeps you stuck.

DB... .for many, especially those that are still in the throes and wake of the b/u, understanding what just happened as well as soliciting opinions from others in terms of what to expect or not expect is beneficial to the healing process. I know for sure that it has helped me in the past and continues to do so. If it were so easy as flip the 'doesn't matter' switch, most of us would not be here.

[JRT]

But that's my point JRT, the goal is to get to a place where it doesn't matter. We have to work hard to detach. You are never going to get any closure from a mentally ill person, hell they don't even know why they did what they did. I'm sure some contact you out of the blue and you never ever hear from others, how could anyone predict what yours or anyone else's will do? Sitting around wondering if they'll ever contact you does you no good, believe me. I've been there and it just keeps you stuck.

DB... .for many, especially those that are still in the throes and wake of the b/u, understanding what just happened as well as soliciting opinions from others in terms of what to expect or not expect is beneficial to the healing process. I know for sure that it has helped me in the past and continues to do so. If it were so easy as flip the 'doesn't matter' switch, most of us would not be here.

It may for you and it may for me, but he came to this forum to be among people who have suffered in the same way that his is now suffering. I assume that he has a reason for asking his question openly and hoping to get honest answers and opinions from the rest of us. I assume that he has some anticipated benefit from soliciting responses. Let him find closure by his own path.

I also find this thread to be interesting... .

[thatwasthat]

Almost a year out and not even a bleep on the radar.

And happy about it!

She was always saying that "when she's done she's done."

Yes and no. I know for a fact that she was keeping tabs on long gone partners, although never contacted them.

It is pretty safe to assume I've been added to that list.

And I don't really mind her doing that.

[Reecer1588]

Almost a year out and not even a bleep on the radar.

And happy about it!

She was always saying that "when she's done she's done."

Yes and no. I know for a fact that she was keeping tabs on long gone partners, although never contacted them.

It is pretty safe to assume I've been added to that list.

And I don't really mind her doing that.

Mine never said "when she is done she's done" per se, but she did say "I'm fing done with you"

[Deeno02]

Funny how they all use the same lines of rhetoric. 6 months and some change for me and no contact. Unfortunately I have to get through my sons Volley ball season(shes the coach) with minimal contact, or none at all. I know this thread is helpful to some, to me its not, but the main point I want to bring is be good to yourself. If she contacts you, so be it, but please dont hang on to a notion. Take care of yourself first. Even if she or he contacts you in the future, you'll be stronger to handle it. The choice is always yours on how you handle it, but the main thing is be good to yourself first.