Crutches used to help disengage.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

   Hello all

  Sitting her hanging out. I had this thought. Why did i believe for so long that if I changed my cell number my diagnosed exBPDgf wins. What a crock of ___ i  realized. I now know that i am so so so much better off. Im no longer caring her B.S in my pocket. Anytime anywhere there she could be either ready to idealize or rage.    . I mean seriously what the heck. Why would I not change my number , life is peaceful know. No more worryIng when my phone went off, no more keeping me stuck in our vicious cycle. (It was her cycle but I accepted it)  owning my part helps the healing and change I need. Changing my number was one of the best things I've done. Also blocking all social media and NOT creeping on my diagnosed exbpgf fb, instagram, Twitter etc. You can come up with a bunch of reasons why you cant  change your phone number and I've said and heard them all, Not giving them an avenue to contact you is key. ( unless you have kids with them then I believe you are truly screwed in the contact department)

[sun seeker]

   Hello all

  Sitting her hanging out. I had this thought. Why did i believe for so long that if I changed my cell number my diagnosed exBPDgf wins. What a crock of ___ i  realized. I now know that i am so so so much better off. Im no longer caring her B.S in my pocket. Anytime anywhere there she could be either ready to idealize or rage.    . I mean seriously what the heck. Why would I not change my number , life is peaceful know. No more worryIng when my phone went off, no more keeping me stuck in our vicious cycle. (It was her cycle but I accepted it)  owning my part helps the healing and change I need. Changing my number was one of the best things I've done. Also blocking all social media and NOT creeping on my diagnosed exbpgf fb, instagram, Twitter etc. You can come up with a bunch of reasons why you cant  change your phone number and I've said and heard them all, Not giving them an avenue to contact you is key. ( unless you have kids with them then I believe you are truly screwed in the contact department)

[Skip]

It's really about disengaging.  If we can't "mental" through it, we need crutches. A crutch may be as simple as changing the designated ring tone that we responded to like Pavlov's Dog.

Its not the ring tone that heals us.  Its the disengagement.

What crutches have others used?  That worked?  That made it worse?