She did not give me the rings like agreed upon

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi,

I have been strict NC with my BPDw for three months.  I met with her three months ago to sign my car over to her (which I did not need to do) and at the time I had asked for her rings back.  I would never normally ask for something like that but as she was already posting pictures of wedding dresses etc on her social media the thought of her selling those rings to possibly pay for her next wedding infuriates me.  Incredible that someone while still married can be planning a wedding with some guy she has known for a month.  She did not follow through and did not give me the rings like agreed upon but I still gave her the car and money anyways.

Any ways she texted me several times yesterday asking if she could come and pick up the other set of wheels for what used to be my car.

I am amazed at her gall.  I have not responded.  I want to text back and tell her to bring the rings and she can have the tires but I would be breaking NC to do the exchange.  I am torn but willing to do it just so she can't sell the rings for her and her bf.  I don't need the money but would rather see it go to a worthy cause rather that her immoral bs.

What does everyone think?

Oh she triggers me!

[wavelife]

Hi,

I have been strict NC with my BPDw for three months.  I met with her three months ago to sign my car over to her (which I did not need to do) and at the time I had asked for her rings back.  I would never normally ask for something like that but as she was already posting pictures of wedding dresses etc on her social media the thought of her selling those rings to possibly pay for her next wedding infuriates me.  Incredible that someone while still married can be planning a wedding with some guy she has known for a month.  She did not follow through and did not give me the rings like agreed upon but I still gave her the car and money anyways.

Any ways she texted me several times yesterday asking if she could come and pick up the other set of wheels for what used to be my car.

I am amazed at her gall.  I have not responded.  I want to text back and tell her to bring the rings and she can have the tires but I would be breaking NC to do the exchange.  I am torn but willing to do it just so she can't sell the rings for her and her bf.  I don't need the money but would rather see it go to a worthy cause rather that her immoral bs.

What does everyone think?

Oh she triggers me!

[JRT]

Sue her.

I live in a state where precedent has been established where an engagement ring is recoverable in the even that the contract is not fully executed. If it is under $2k, you can do this in small claims court. If you are able to cite precedent, it will be an open and shut case.

BTW... .mine kept the ring that I gave her... .I highly suspect that this was done, as with other property, to leave a hookback in the event that the replacement doesn't work out. I have read other accounts of this as well.

[wavelife]

I wish!  I don't think I can where I live.   I was so angry this morning.  That woman infuriates me.  I talked with my lawyer and he advised to not bother and let her have the few things she wants and to file for divorce.  Just get it over with and close the door an that whole messed up situation.  For my own emotional health it would be best.  Soon the monetary hurt will mean nothing and I can get on with healing.

[JRT]

To me it sounds like your attorney is copping out, sorry. I would seek a second opinion... .or see if you can sue in small claims court.

[wavelife]

It is pretty tough to get the ring back in Canada.  He is looking at the big picture and what I could possibly lose by going after a ring.  Could be much more including some spousal support.  Need to keep my emotions out of it and be rational... .as much as I hate her having it and everything it stood for that she broke.

[hope2727]

I know its the principal of it but seriously what good is the ring other than to make a point? Would you give it to a different woman? I hope not. Would you wear it? nope. Would you sell it? Maybe but not for what you paid. Her keeping the ring over your head gives her power. Just let it go and take your power back. My 2 cents. But I low it hurts and I am sorry for that.

[wavelife]

I agree 100% hope2727.  Just let her get under my skin. All I would have done is sell it and give the money to worthy cause... .like this webpage.  So maybe something good to come from all of it.  Thanks for the words.  I am good now and back on track... .just really p$&@ed this morning at her gall.  All good. Upwards we go.

[hope2727]

I agree 100% hope2727.  Just let her get under my skin. All I would have done is sell it and give the money to worthy cause... .like this webpage.  So maybe something good to come from all of it.  Thanks for the words.  I am good now and back on track... .just really p$&@ed this morning at her gall.  All good. Upwards we go.

Glad I could help a bit. Sorry you are enduring this. Maybe its ok to just let them have their momentos. I kind of hope mine oohs at the things I have given him (and or done with and for him) and thanks of me fondly. At the moment he has me painted the blackest of back but perhaps one day when he is getting better (which I wish for him) he will ba able to loo back and smile. Let her have the rings. They were given in love. Let that be the emotion that resonates with the memory of them. I gave my ex the things I did in love. I don't want them back.

[Mutt]

I talked with my lawyer and he advised to not bother and let her have the few things she wants and to file for divorce.  Just get it over with and close the door an that whole messed up situation.

Listen to your L.

I understand the anger.

She can't marry someone else until she gets divorced.

She lacks impulse control, thoughts to consequences and if she wants to get married she may want to get it done quickly and concede certain amenities?

She may not go after spousal support, pension etc... .

The rings aren't the bigger picture, lack of impulse control is.

What's worth more?

Play the long game.