Two years since xhwBPD Left... here's where I'm at today

[love4meNOTu]

Hi all - it's been almost two years since my exhwBPD traits left, and we subsequently divorced.

A very short marriage... less than 16 months.

Fast forward to today... .I've been in a wonderful relationship for almost a year. I'm very happy. It's the real version of love. Not the fake one I was sold by my x.

I was remembering how destroyed I was after believing everything that the ex told me. I blamed myself for a long time for being so foolish. It stunted my healing for a good six months. When I found that he was engaged to another about the same time as our divorce was finalized it was a real blow... .obviously the man never loved me. Obviously.

Anymore it has nothing to do with him. I'm not even really sure the man had BPD or was just abusive. I came here because I was desperate to understand why WHY WHY this had happened to me and WHY had he done these things to me.

I know now that I will never understand how a disordered or abusive person thinks. And no longer do I care what such a person thinks of me.

I'm glad I survived. I didn't think the pain would end, but it did.

So I guess the one thing I would say to anyone here on the leaving board... .

IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT THEY ARE DISORDERED.

We are just trying to find an excuse / reason why this has happened to us. It happened, we came here for insight, we got it. Now it's time to try to fix us, because it's no use trying to fix them. Arrogant almost... to think that we could.

All my opinion only... but I just wanted you all to know it's possible to get over this and move on with your life, and be happy.

Thank you all for being here, don't know what I would have done without you.

L

[Mutt]

  That is good news love4meNOTu