She is right though, I don't care any more. I hear her anger, her rage and I just turn it down in my head, and close myself off. I don't want to spend any more of my energy, my money, my time on this.
I'm wondering if there is some middle ground here... .where you can buy some time... .improve some skills at dealing with pwBPD traits... .and take a longer view to figuring out the status of your r/s.
So... .the issue... .as your wrote it... .is that you hear her anger... .rage... .etc. I'm hoping you can spend some time thinking through how you communicate... .and move up the point where you stop listening or paying attention.
My hope is that if you think about her patters... .the "order to her disorder"... .that you can identify times when it is very likely that she will be on an angry tear for a bit... .and YOU decide not to participate.
Very likely you will feel better about the r/s... .be a bit more detached from the drama... .and be able to make healthy (healthier) long term decisions about the r/s.
What would something like this look like in your r/s? Can you think to "tell tales" that she gives off... .that a grumpy period is about to start.
FF