Hi Soulfire,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am sorry to hear the pain and confusion this situation is causing you. We are here to help you see past your current sense of frustration.
Suicidal idealization is fairly commonly linked with this disorder and is closely tied to depression and extreme thinking. It should not be dismissed and should be taken seriously in order that it doesn't compound. Has she seen a psychiatrist about this? If not it should be discussed, as I am sure she would like some help with this. There could be readily identified reasons or even medications that may help.
Please take some time to read our following workshop where this is discussed extensively
TOOLS: Depression and Suicidal IdeationHas she been diagnosed with BPD, or is this just something you suspect.? A lot of what you dscribe does sound similar to what others here have experienced.
Do you think she evokes the rescuer in you?
Waverider