New here

[Baker]

Hi all. This is my first time ever doing something like this. My husband wAs just diagnosed BPD. We've been married for 12 yrs and I have been searching for answers for almost that long.  We have three kids.  Glad to have a diagnosis be he isn't. It makes him mad he is labeled. He wants help, but it also makes him angry. I feel like I have lost myself in all of this. Walking on eggshells. Feeling like I don't even know what's right or wrong for myself anymore. I want a restart button... .with my husband. I don't want a divorce but I'm so tired. I need an answer. And I want my kids to have a good life and not fear their dad and what he might be like from moment to moment. Thanks for listening.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[PurpleSkies]

Hey Baker   - I'm new here too, but just wanted to say hi, and you are definitely not alone. No wonder you feel lost and want a restart button. Sounds like you have been through a lot. I reallly hope that things improve for you guys. You'll definitely find a lot of support and info here. All best, RF

[vortex of confusion]

Hi Baker! 

You are in good company here. A lot of us have had that same feeling. I love my partner but things have been touch and go at different times. Like you, I spent most of my 17 year marriage knowing that something wasn't quite right but not really sure what it was. My husband doesn't have a diagnosis but I have found the tools that are available on this site to be invaluable.

If you look to the right, there are a bunch of Lessons that cover things like understanding your partners behavior, understanding your role in the relationship, and communication tools.

Is there one specific area with your husband that gives you the most trouble? Sometimes, it helps to look at individual behaviors and see if you can get help with that and then work on things one step at a time. When you say that he was just diagnosed, what kind of time frame is that? How much do you know about BPD? What kind of support do YOU have? Do you have a therapist or counselor?

Welcome to the boards! Post as much or as little as you would life. If you read through the lessons and have questions, post them and others will try to help you out.