Most mind boggling things they ever said to you

[Depression = 72% of members]

"You are not to be trusted. "

This after she cheated on me three times. 

[Pretty Woman]

"You are not to be trusted. "

This after she cheated on me three times. 

[zundertowz]

Plenty now that I think back on it. Here's a few paraphrased:

Her: You know you I don't mean the things I say to you when I'm mad.

Her: I mean every single thing I say to you.

One day - Her: I can't wait for you to be out of my life for good, it's a hazmat spill I have to clean up.

Another day - Her: Get your sh!t and get out of my house! (Throwing stuff, getting physical, took my house key off my key chain)

After I left - Her: I don't understand why you moved out, you left our home. You showed me you don't love me.

The funniest, a literal laugh out loud moment. Some back story - she accused me of cheating, with a co-worker then when she contacted the co-worker and was told she was crazy she moved to it must be one of her friends. Never that it wasn't really happening, always that my explanations just don't add up to her investigative mind. Anyway, after moving out we still tried to work on things. We had dinner plans that she cancelled because all the signs she was reading showed her I never loved her. Two nights later she's posting on FB about a "Notebook night" (referring to the romantic movie) and it wasn't with me.

Me: You have fun with whomever you had your notebook night with, I'm done.

Her: Not that I should have to explain but that was with a gay friend. If you can look at me in that way it really makes me rethink things.

Me, inside: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That's rich right there. An an indication that maybe my ex really has no idea what reality is sometimes.

My ex would kick me out of the house threatening to call the police on me, then say I can't believe you abandoned me.

[JadeIshka]

Oh man, so weird and good to read that I'm not alone in Crazytown!

A few years back I was working at a high school as an administrative assistant. I don't much care for admin work so I started looking around and ended up landing a job as an ART DIRECTOR at a little community newspaper start up. I stayed with them until the paper closed operations a couple of years after that.

My BPDh supposedly knows all of this, since he was, um, my husband then too (and also helped out at that paper with their website, and the high school with their technology) but somehow just this past spring he got it into his mind that my job transitions were due to ME sabotaging myself.

He apparently revised history and thought I got FIRED from both the high school AND the paper! I was so stunned I ... .am STILL speechless. I mean, I know all of this was pre-2010, but sheesh. When I brought it up and explained the stuff I thought he already knew, he just blew it off like oh, yeah, whatever. 

[English Sid]

I knew my ex had lost the plot, when I arrived home from work and she told me she had just seen me walking with another woman ( my supposed girlfriend ) whilst waiting for me on our balcony.

[adventurer]

Not the worst but the most mind boggling to me was in the midst of the nth time I was discussing with her that she needed to get a job, that I needed financial help to pay all of our bills.

She told me she was sick of 'entitled' people.  Somehow I was entitled expecting her to contribute to our finances.  It took everything in my power to validate her feeling and not explode at her, saying she's the entitled one expecting me to pay for everything for the past 10 years.

Still trying to let this one go.

[skyla]

I knew my ex had lost the plot, when I arrived home from work and she told me she had just seen me walking with another woman ( my supposed girlfriend ) whilst waiting for me on our balcony.

My ex used to do this all the time. One morning a few weeks after we broke up he called me up crying about how I was so abusive and never cared about him. I tried to comfort him but he wasn't having it and hung up. I got up to get a shower. When I got out the shower I saw my phone was ringing with several missed calls. I answer and he starts raging in tears " WHAT WERE YOU JUST DOING? I'M AT YOUR HOUSE AND JUST SAW A MAN LEAVING YOUR BACKYARD! WHO'S CAR IS THAT?"

smh

He'd also text me saying things like "I was just at your house. Those black kids (my neighbors) said they see a different dude coming over all the time"

He'd make up lies and false accusations like this all the time throughout our relationship and I'd actually spend hours trying to defend myself over that bs. Ugh. What was I thinking. 

[Lostone1314]

your not worth the financial convienience  ( my replacement is modestly wealthy at least twice my income)

your hobby is embarrassing (bought it for me for xmas)

your going to grow to be a short fat old man ( now in RS with tall obese older man )

you will never find a woman as beautiful as me to love you  ( prob correct here )

dont you want to look beautiful for your girl ( insisting i go to gym btw i was only 5kg/10lbs above ideal)

your fault i didnt orgasm your not doin it right ( never showed me what right was)

you really dont understand women ( id just not her)

you lie very well ( never lied)

[cj488]

Highlights:

1) I can't wait to shower you with affection.

2) You're less important to me than my dog.

3) I want you, I love you, I want to be your muse, your inspiration,  your wife!

4) You're more enthusiastic about your relationship than I am.

5) I love you forever, I'm totally smitten.

6) I just realized I shouldn't be in any relationship at all right now.

7) You always make me so hot. You're a wonderful lover.

8) I now have total say over sexuality. You're not getting what you want, just because you want it.

9) I'll live you with anywhere; I'll follow you anywhere.

10) I always end up having to take care of (control) my lovers, it's just my nature.

11) This is the most wonderful relationship of my life!

12) I'm involved with someone else. Don't ever contact me again.

Among many others... .what a nightmare!

[klacey3]

I knew my ex had lost the plot, when I arrived home from work and she told me she had just seen me walking with another woman ( my supposed girlfriend ) whilst waiting for me on our balcony.

My ex used to do this all the time. One morning a few weeks after we broke up he called me up crying about how I was so abusive and never cared about him. I tried to comfort him but he wasn't having it and hung up. I got up to get a shower. When I got out the shower I saw my phone was ringing with several missed calls. I answer and he starts raging in tears " WHAT WERE YOU JUST DOING? I'M AT YOUR HOUSE AND JUST SAW A MAN LEAVING YOUR BACKYARD! WHO'S CAR IS THAT?"

smh

He'd also text me saying things like "I was just at your house. Those black kids (my neighbors) said they see a different dude coming over all the time"

He'd make up lies and false accusations like this all the time throughout our relationship and I'd actually spend hours trying to defend myself over that bs. Ugh. What was I thinking. 

Same with mine!

After the breakup I blocked him on facebook. He messaged my Mum and told her how upset he was to hear from his friend (who does have me on facebook) that I have put up lots of pictures of my new boyfriend... .I had put up about 10 group pictures of guys and girls of my friends birthday bbq which had no pictures of me even in it!

[Gonzalo]

Mine would say that she was doing most of the work in the relationship and that, martyr-like, she didn't mind doing so but wished I would acknowledge it. When I finally stopped being a pushover and pressed her to explain just what it was that she did that I didn't do, she was never able to answer. Since I was paying most of the bills, doing most of the chores, bearing most of the emotional weight, and doing the most to try to communicate better, I really have no idea what she thought was going on.

Also, though it's small compared to most of this, there was one Sunday morning where I made breakfast for both of us. She was sorting stuff in the closet, and decided that she didn't want to come down. I made sure she heard, waited a couple of minutes, then ate my breakfast. When she came down she was absolutely furious at my daring to eat food without her, and proceeded to tell me that it showed I didn't care about her or the relationship or anything.

[cloudten]

- that I was having sex with my boss (who is older than my father- just no)

- that I was having sex with my boss' father (who is even older- almost dead - no)

- that I slept with my boss to get my job. (no)

- that i am banging every 23 year old in the town we live in (no- and I am 33- so heck no)

- that i wasn't attracted to him (that's not his choice, but even in our final breakup i still found him stunning)

- that he wasn't enough sexually ( huh- maybe his is a projection. maybe i am the one who isn't enough sexually.  :'( He was wrong- and that wasn't for him to be the judge of. he was simply amazing... .always.)

There are so many many more- but these were the most puzzling to this day. I remember hearing the proverbial record scratch when he said these things out of the blue... .I would always think or say 'where the eff did you come up with that?'

[Yolanda123]

Posted by: cloudten 

-that I was having sex with my boss (who is older than my father- just no)

- that I was having sex with my boss' father (who is even older- almost dead - no)

- that I slept with my boss to get my job. (no)

- that i am banging every 23 year old in the town we live in (no- and I am 33- so heck no)

- that i wasn't attracted to him (that's not his choice, but even in our final breakup i still found him stunning)

- that he wasn't enough sexually ( Idea Idea Idea huh- maybe his is a projection. maybe i am the one who isn't enough sexually.  cry He was wrong- and that wasn't for him to be the judge of. he was simply amazing... .always.)

cloudten, that is amazing how my exBPD said the almost exact same things to me, with a few variations:

- that I was having sex (or wanting to) with basically ANY man - the guy in the car next to us, a co-worker, the pool guy... .just any of them! He was even jealous of one of my friend's son (who is 22 - I am 45) and of the teenage kids that were playing hockey in the street (just one out of many other examples)

- that I was not satisfied sexually (untrue but no matter how many times I told him that he would never believe me) and that I sure was thinking of cheating on him as a consequence.

I am convinced now that all of this was indeed projection.

[problemsolver]

How I had sex with some girl from a year ago because I used to occasionally walk around with her (this was before I was even dating my BPDex and no I never did anything with the other girl) ... How I asked for a girls number on a night out when it never happened ... Basically a whole bunch of random things that never happened and they would get so blown out of proporition... .too many funny crazy making things to remember... ooh the good old days 

[skyla]

Posted by: cloudten 

-that I was having sex with my boss (who is older than my father- just no)

- that I was having sex with my boss' father (who is even older- almost dead - no)

- that I slept with my boss to get my job. (no)

- that i am banging every 23 year old in the town we live in (no- and I am 33- so heck no)

- that i wasn't attracted to him (that's not his choice, but even in our final breakup i still found him stunning)

- that he wasn't enough sexually ( Idea Idea Idea huh- maybe his is a projection. maybe i am the one who isn't enough sexually.  cry He was wrong- and that wasn't for him to be the judge of. he was simply amazing... .always.)

cloudten, that is amazing how my exBPD said the almost exact same things to me, with a few variations:

- that I was having sex (or wanting to) with basically ANY man - the guy in the car next to us, a co-worker, the pool guy... .just any of them! He was even jealous of one of my friend's son (who is 22 - I am 45) and of the teenage kids that were playing hockey in the street (just one out of many other examples)

- that I was not satisfied sexually (untrue but no matter how many times I told him that he would never believe me) and that I sure was thinking of cheating on him as a consequence.

I am convinced now that all of this was indeed projection.

Mine was convinced that I'd eventually have sex with my roommate's boyfriend (who looked like Ryan Gosling). He would fight with me about it all the time and he was always trying to get me to force my roommate to leave. It's funny because when I first started talking to him as friends he confessed that he had sex with the roommate of the girl he was dating before me and he expressed a lot of grief and guilt over this after he realized what he had done... .remembering that, I knew he was projecting.

As far as sex goes, it was quite the opposite. He always seemed to assume that he was this amazing god in bed because he was large downstairs, but this simply wasn't the case... .I was often quite frustrated with the sex. I even remember thinking at times "life is too short for sex this lame... ."

[coletown11]

This ones a bit different.

This was near the end where basically everything I did was bad, and the gaslighting was on full force. I was pulling into a supermarket parking lot, looked for parking, first spot I saw open was near the entrance, so I park in it.

she says, "why do you always do that?"

me, "do what?"

her, "you always try to find the spot right in front of the entrance"

me, "uhh, I don't really think about it, I just saw a spot and parked in it"

her,"i think you do think about it, its like you want everyone to notice you so you always park in front, its kind of unattractive"

me, at the stage where I am questioning everything I think and do, "do I? I guess I never really thought about that, ill be more aware of that, sorry"

of course I spent the rest of the day full of anxiety and contemplating in my head whether or not she may have a point.

[zundertowz]

This ones a bit different.

This was near the end where basically everything I did was bad, and the gaslighting was on full force. I was pulling into a supermarket parking lot, looked for parking, first spot I saw open was near the entrance, so I park in it.

she says, "why do you always do that?"

me, "do what?"

her, "you always try to find the spot right in front of the entrance"

me, "uhh, I don't really think about it, I just saw a spot and parked in it"

her,"i think you do think about it, its like you want everyone to notice you so you always park in front, its kind of unattractive"

me, at the stage where I am questioning everything I think and do, "do I? I guess I never really thought about that, ill be more aware of that, sorry"

of course I spent the rest of the day full of anxiety and contemplating in my head whether or not she may have a point.

Apologizing for parking in a certain parking spot... ... thanks for this post I was feeling pretty down tonight but you brought back memories of me apologizing for nonsense like this to keep the peace.  It's funny how the mind can forget the 90 percent bad and long for the 10 percent good. thanks again.

[Darsha500]

This ones a bit different.

This was near the end where basically everything I did was bad, and the gaslighting was on full force. I was pulling into a supermarket parking lot, looked for parking, first spot I saw open was near the entrance, so I park in it.

she says, "why do you always do that?"

me, "do what?"

her, "you always try to find the spot right in front of the entrance"

me, "uhh, I don't really think about it, I just saw a spot and parked in it"

her,"i think you do think about it, its like you want everyone to notice you so you always park in front, its kind of unattractive"

me, at the stage where I am questioning everything I think and do, "do I? I guess I never really thought about that, ill be more aware of that, sorry"

LOL! that is so awesome and classic. One time I told my Ex that I wished her a happy day and she flipped out on me. She told me, "I wish you could just tell me, "I pray that God will be with you through all your trials today"" something to that effect. So i copied and pasted what she wanted me to say back to her in response. So humorous, the whole gas lighting phenomenon.


I got one though.


After having sex for the first time she painted me jet black (physical intimacy was a huge trigger for her during the beginnings of our relationship). While painting me black, oddly enough she convicted me of being gay. But then she would switch and think, "He just wants to have sex with me." Apparently, it was the huge discrepancy between these two countervailing thoughts that made her realize how distorted her thinking was.

[greenmonkey]

One of the first red flags - which I just laughed off - just after we started chatting after meeting online

"You only go to work to pull women don't you ?"

[balletomane]

"I love you deeply and completely, and everything you say is perfect."

"I was silly to think I had anything good and safe and loving before."

"You're crazy and that's the only thing that stops you from being completely evil."

"You're the worst abuser I've ever known."

"The only reason you want me around is for me to tell you how good you are."

"You hurt me countless times, and you never apologised once, and certainly not dozens of times like I did." (He's never apologised to me in his life, and I was forever saying sorry.)

"Good luck getting me to forgive you yet another time." (When I finally told him that he needed to stop lashing out at me.)

"You idolise me. You don't love me, you love some image of me in your head. Point out one thing you don't like about me. There isn't anything." (Then there was a bizarre game where I tried to point out things I didn't like and he insisted I was making them up.)

"You ruined me."

"You've been manipulating me all these years. You target people you want to abuse."

Then there was the time he accused me of cheating on him because I mentioned on IM that I had to go and meet my French teacher. Even when he accepted that I wasn't literally cheating on him, apparently I was still "emotionally cheating". Then there was the time when he insisted I was in love with a female friend and he kept pushing and pushing me to admit I was bisexual. He used this as evidence of my dishonesty: the angry cry of, "You won't even admit you're bisexual!"

[Suspicious1]

"You'd have had me dragged away and locked up tonight". After he attempted suicide and I negotiated with the police to get him to A&E and sat with him all night in the hospital, working hard to get him the support from psych services he needed, then drove him home after assuring the team I would see him safely into his house where his brother would care for him.

"You want me to be cuckold. My future with you would be to host men as you had sex with them. I'd be seen as lower than the bulls. It's you, you can't help yourself. You need other people". After I told him I'd had the offer of a date from someone so had declined, but he spent two days trying to convince me to go on this date even though I kept telling him I wasn't interested, on the basis that I deserved to go off and have some fun and ought to take the opportunity.

[Gonzalo]

me, at the stage where I am questioning everything I think and do, "do I? I guess I never really thought about that, ill be more aware of that, sorry"

Yeah, no one tries to force me to apologize for BS now, it's so nice. I think my favorite situation like yours was that she was broke, about to start a new job, and wanted to go thrift store shopping for some new work clothes. I asked her how much money she wanted for that, gave it to her, and got "You're such an ass" in response.

[Mutt]

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