Meaning of this behavior...

[wanttoknowmore]

She broke up 4 weeks and started giving silent treatment. NC was initiated 3 weeks ago. She made an account 4 1/2 years ago which linked to her face book account as she

always wanted me to see her face book activity (its not my account but I can access her face book  thru it)  After break up 4 weeks ago, she is posting pictures and videos of her vacation with her female friends showing how extremely happy she is and how much fun she is having ... .kayaking, hiking, swimming and watching shows ... .all wih her female friends... .also, laughing and giving the impression that she is very very happy after the break up. I don't believe she has a replacement. (but who knows !) Also, she keeps posting signs "life is short... .enjoy it" " Dear men... .you think we want your money, your car etc but a right woman only wants your time, your loyalty and putting her as your priority."

More pictures of her her laughing and have dinner in restaurant with female friends ... .as if break up does not matter and she is happier now.  It puzzles me... .Is it true that she is happier?  What is the purpose of these pictures ? BTW, she knows that sometimes I watch her face book page thru account she made for me 4 1/2 yrs ago.  I am truly confused.

She is a waif type but shuts down ... .rarely rage.  She is giving silent treatment at his time. Please give your assessment. I feel like finally ending it but still have some feelings for her.

[michel71]

Easy to answer as I have been on both sides of the FACEBOOK thing. She loves to air our dirty laundry in code on her FB page by posting quotes. Sometimes they are happy quotes as if to say "look at me, I rock no matter what" or they are unhappy quotes as if to say " I hate your guts Michel71". Either way she wants to accomplish one thing and one thing only: TO GET YOUR GOAT. Don't let her get a rise out of you. She wants to hurt you by sending subliminal messages. Your ex lady's pics would likely say " look at me having so much fun now that he is gone so he can K my A."

[michel71]

And by the way I finally got off FB because my BPD was doing that kind of crap and she de-friended me twice only for her friends and mine to comment. Embarrassing. All I did was remove the toddler's play-toy (my FB) and the matter was solved. She has no target.

[Olivia_D]

More pictures of her her laughing and have dinner in restaurant with female friends ... .as if break up does not matter and she is happier now.  It puzzles me... .Is it true that she is happier? What is the purpose of these pictures ? BTW, she knows that sometimes I watch her face book page thru account she made for me 4 1/2 yrs ago.  I am truly confused.

She is a waif type but shuts down ... .rarely rage.  She is giving silent treatment at his time. Please give your assessment. I feel like finally ending it but still have some feelings for her.

Well, the likely purpose of these pictures is to continue to toy with your emotions like a cat with a string.  If she knows that you sometimes watch her Facebook page, she is "staging" photos of herself with her friends and putting up billboards directed to "men in general" (?).  Rage is not always out loud and sometimes it manifests itself in more subtle and ambient ways.  "Ambient" abuse is covert (hidden) rather than overt (and outwardly raging).  So, in my opinion, it is a form of rage and it is a form of communication or contact with you, especially if she is expecting you to check her Facebook page.   This stealth type of behavior is one of the more psychologically damaging forms of abuse as it is easy for her to explain it away and twist it back around to you "stalking" her.  This type of abuse is a double-win for her as she gets to send the message, play the victim, and twist it back around to you being the abuser / stalker.  But, I am just taking a guess at the undertones.

[enlighten me]

My exgf did a lot of these type of posts. Selfies at 10 in the morning all made up and comments to her friends on what a great night they had. Some of it may be innocent but my gut feeling is they were "look at what your missing. Im beautiful and fun".

Remember fb only shows the good things. No one ever posts that theyve got a huge zit on their nose or theyve messed up.

My exgf has a pattern of fb behaviour. Once you see this pattern then fb becomes less of a trigger and highlights her dissorder.

[tortuga]

There used to be a bumper-sticker that said: "Kill your television".

Today we need one that says: "Kill your facebook".

[wanttoknowmore]

Thank you all who took the trouble to reply. My mind is baffled to utmost degree... .how a woman who professed love and cried uncontrollably about even a hint of me leaving in the past... .now, suddenly breaks contact and does not answer any texts and post pics on FB showing as she has never been happier in her entire life. And ,she is well groomed and animated with smiles all over in those pictures. Can people even fake to this extent ? Do they have such capacity and self control ? I feel weak and powerless but used to be such a self confident man before this r/s.  I know I will recover ... .in time. But, doesn't such experiences leave a man developing distrust and fear of women in general ?

Her quotes are weird... .some are from my favorite authors ,some random religious stuff, some guiding and preaching other people how to live life happily. In pictures, she is the face of happiness and receives dozens of LIKES from her 715 fake book friends. Is this ultimate "Queen Of Deception"?.

[Infared]

And by the way I finally got off FB because my BPD was doing that kind of crap and she de-friended me twice only for her friends and mine to comment. Embarrassing. All I did was remove the toddler's play-toy (my FB) and the matter was solved. She has no target.

There you go! 

[wanttoknowmore]

I sent her message to close fake book account she made for me 4 1/2 years ago... .as I can not cancel it. Its not my account... .she in some complex way... .made and connected to her account. I am detaching well but can not NOT see her face book as the curiosity to understand her actions and behavior keeps me into it. But, then, I feel sad and angry when I see the pictures. She has escalated the pictures and now started posting pictures of her male friends with her in the middle hugging two of them and they all laughing like the very happy people.  Also, "Look ,I am soo Happy" bill boards keep coming on her page. I beat myself for not knowing what she truly is ... .I am very confused.

Would you help me understand ,please, what truly she is trying to convey by these pictures and what her goal is ? She knows I sometimes watch face book page as it was made for me with immense love 4 1/2 years ago. Please give your assessment.

[JRT]

I don't think that life is joyful for ANYONE recovering from a recent breakup including a pwBPD. In between the moments that those photos were taken, we conversations related to you and her r/s with you (just as you cannot help but to think about her and bring her up when you are out socially with others). The postings are are meant to communicate that she is fine without you (she is not, she is likely suffering to some degree) and that because she is 'fine', 'doesn't need you', 'having fun', etc., that she exerts a level of power and control over the situation and you.   

I think that this is not so much BPD behavior as it is teenager-ish and presupposes a continuation. Someone who has truly moved on and is no longer a party to the r/s is indifferent.

[dobie]

Mine has blocked me on Feb but has made various posts public not sure if this is so I can see if I snoop or just a mistake on her part but the ones that are public are all her new trips and future holidays nothing boring or mundane or some poo about learning from "past mistakes" . or not needing to feel she needs to control everything memes

[wanttoknowmore]

I know she was miserable while we were friends as she used to share problems about her children, constant struggles, fights, financial and health issues... .at times... .saying how lucky you are everything is so good in your life. She complaint all the time about her aches and pains, blood pressure, getting overweight, feeling old and ugly etc.

Now ... .in these pictures, she is vibrant, drinking wine. laughing and joking with friends, seems suddenly she found a great new way to live... .the quotes are interesting... .they are a mix of religious babble, advice to others how to enjoy life etc.  Also, suddenly in these pics she is well groomed, red lipstick, make up, glamorous dresses, a picture of new found ecstatic happiness.  

Which one is real ?  The one I knew for 4+ years  OR this what I see on her face book page after break up ? I feel sad that I am still sad after 4 weeks and she is having party.

Am I the weaker person in this r/s ? What happened to my self confidence ? Which version of her is true... .past loving and caring OR this new "hell with you' "I don't care " version.

Do you think she is posting these happy pictures to punish me or hurt me even more ? What is her purpose ?

She in any past b/u and this one... .she never blocked her phone ,face book, never asked to return any gifts, never returned my gifts and when she came back , she was happy to see that I did still have collection of gifts etc. I strongly feel she will make connection again at some point in future... .and that thought obstruct my full detachment... .BUT, why she want to hurt me by these so called "happy pictures" ? Does she really want me to move on for good by hurting my feelings more .?

[Infared]

I know she was miserable while we were friends as she used to share problems about her children, constant struggles, fights, financial and health issues... .at times... .saying how lucky you are everything is so good in your life. She complaint all the time about her aches and pains, blood pressure, getting overweight, feeling old and ugly etc.

Now ... .in these pictures, she is vibrant, drinking wine. laughing and joking with friends, seems suddenly she found a great new way to live... .the quotes are interesting... .they are a mix of religious babble, advice to others how to enjoy life etc.  Also, suddenly in these pics she is well groomed, red lipstick, make up, glamorous dresses, a picture of new found ecstatic happiness.  

Which one is real ?  The one I knew for 4+ years  OR this what I see on her face book page after break up ? I feel sad that I am still sad after 4 weeks and she is having party.

Am I the weaker person in this r/s ? What happened to my self confidence ? Which version of her is true... .past loving and caring OR this new "hell with you' "I don't care " version.

Do you think she is posting these happy pictures to punish me or hurt me even more ? What is her purpose ?

She in any past b/u and this one... .she never blocked her phone ,face book, never asked to return any gifts, never returned my gifts and when she came back , she was happy to see that I did still have collection of gifts etc. I strongly feel she will make connection again at some point in future... .and that thought obstruct my full detachment... .BUT, why she want to hurt me by these so called "happy pictures" ? Does she really want me to move on for good by hurting my feelings more .?

A better question may be... .if you love yourself... .why are you looking at any of the childish crap and trying to figure it out?   Why are you disturbing you own peace and opportunity to move away from a person who clearly acts NOT in your best interest or with any empathy or consideration for you and your feelings?

[JRT]

I know she was miserable while we were friends as she used to share problems about her children, constant struggles, fights, financial and health issues... .at times... .saying how lucky you are everything is so good in your life. She complaint all the time about her aches and pains, blood pressure, getting overweight, feeling old and ugly etc.

Now ... .in these pictures, she is vibrant, drinking wine. laughing and joking with friends, seems suddenly she found a great new way to live... .the quotes are interesting... .they are a mix of religious babble, advice to others how to enjoy life etc.  Also, suddenly in these pics she is well groomed, red lipstick, make up, glamorous dresses, a picture of new found ecstatic happiness.  

Which one is real ?  The one I knew for 4+ years  OR this what I see on her face book page after break up ? I feel sad that I am still sad after 4 weeks and she is having party.

Am I the weaker person in this r/s ? What happened to my self confidence ? Which version of her is true... .past loving and caring OR this new "hell with you' "I don't care " version.

Do you think she is posting these happy pictures to punish me or hurt me even more ? What is her purpose ?

She in any past b/u and this one... .she never blocked her phone ,face book, never asked to return any gifts, never returned my gifts and when she came back , she was happy to see that I did still have collection of gifts etc. I strongly feel she will make connection again at some point in future... .and that thought obstruct my full detachment... .BUT, why she want to hurt me by these so called "happy pictures" ? Does she really want me to move on for good by hurting my feelings more .?

Consider that what is posted on FB is for public consumption only and is meant to communicate something that might otherwise be the truth and usually isn't.

[Mel1968]

Mine has blocked me on Feb but has made various posts public not sure if this is so I can see if I snoop or just a mistake on her part but the ones that are public are all her new trips and future holidays nothing boring or mundane or some poo about learning from "past mistakes" . or not needing to feel she needs to control everything memes

Mine's done exactly the same- except I know that it's deliberate, she knows how to work FB like a pro as she's obsessed by it, and is completely validated by the number of Likes a photo receives.

Her latest one-that I can see- is a photo of a couple of years ago when she looked much better than now, at a really cool location she went to once ... .And she posted it up with comments that made it sound like she was there last weekend... .and then responded to all the Wow You're Amazing comments as if it was all real and current!

I have to say that this did me a huge favour because it just reminded me of the mad world I'm caught up in and what a complete and utter narcissistic liar she is!