more on my dillema - and my healing

[maxsterling]

You are doing the right thing... .

Well, I feel like I am doing the *only* thing.  I feel like I have few options *but* to ignore her rants and dysregulation.  Engaging in it right now would probably literally destroy me.   And I see your point about control - you are exactly right.  From her perspective, I am being controlling.  From my perspective I am simply trying to control the only thing I can - ME.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[maxsterling]

Here's my thoughts:

She seems to be dysregulating over this job thing (in addition to the baseline dysregulation of the past few weeks/months).  I've had as much input here as I feel is warranted as much as she has asked for.  Now its time to stay out of this one.

She also seems to be dysregulating (again) because I have not made specific plans with her for this weekend.  This morning, I asked her if she would be home for dinner, which she already said she had plans and did not know when she would be home. 

My feeling is this - my phone/email is quiet now.  Wait a few hours for her to sort out her job stuff, and calm down in whatever way.  Then send an email telling her what my plans are for the evening and weekend and say she is free to join me but if she has other plans I understand... .

[maxsterling]

Well, she's taking the job... .one close to home (no emoticon above seems to fit my current emotion)

Not that it changes anything, r/s wise, because I know the pattern.  But I still feel happy for her in taking control over her own life.  At least for the time being, she will have something else to focus on.     

[EaglesJuju]

This thread has reached its post limit, and is now closed. This is a worthwhile topic, and you are free to start a new thread to continue the conversation. Thanks for your understanding... .