We're in fairly low contact. We only communicate when we want to meet up. The last time that happened was about... .2.5 weeks ago?
Ended amicably, sort of. There were some minor things said out of pain and anger, but it has mostly been a pretty alright separation. I think that both of us want a friendship, but it's hard to say, as neither me nor her are open about most things when we meet.
I've done a lot of writing about my feelings thus far, and I talk quite a bit about them to my close friends. I would like to say that I don't bottle many things, if any at all.
I had to make a painful decision. Mine was doing drive-byes, walking up to me alone in public... .all-the-while, living with another guy and never taking any responsibility or admitting she cheated. NOTHING. ... .and she was expecting me to be the same caring, loving guy that I always was. As much as it hurt... .when I saw what was showing up... ."I" had to cut it clean. With my actions. She had said she needed a clean break. ... .but we know that anything that comes out of the mouth of a BPD is next to "of no value". So... .I cut it. There was just nothing there for me but lies, lies by omission and abuse. I had to love me... .as much as I never wanted that to be the plan. Tough stuff.
Hey Infared, that sounds terrible. I'm sorry that you had to endure that kind of pain.
I have a close friend that went through a similar situation. His ex cheated on him for last half year of their relationship, broke up with him, kicked him out of the house that he renovated (basically on his own), and now is living with the same guy in the house that my friend put years of his life into making a home out of. And to boot, she slept with the new guy for the two months in their bed before my friend could find a new place. And now, even, she is coming up to him in public with affection, like she never did anything wrong.
Unfortunately, he won't consider that his ex was disordered. I've told him that it might be an option, but he never really did the research.
Luckily for me, my ex was never that vicious or heartless. She hasn't 'stalked' me, per se, but I have seen her sitting near my flat with friends. She has never tried to approach me in public without arranging it first.
I can't say that she physically cheated on me, but she did emotionally with a good friend of hers that was absolutely unknowledgeable that I would consider her or his behavior out of line. Either way, I have let that go. I've been in plenty of ambiguous half-relationship situations where I've been seeing other people while my 'partner' was too. Those are things that I've put behind me. I was much younger and much less considerate of other people's feelings. Those experiences, however, make me able to let cheating go a little bit easier, if it happened in the first place. Water under the bridge. People make mistakes. But that is only my philosophy. I'm glad that you had the courage to do what was best for yourself.
... but like you... .I still carry anger about how I was treated. Unlike your friend, I can see the mental illness... .
Hypothetical:
My ex is like... .she just killed my mother and she wants to go out and get ice cream with me... .and show me how SHE was the victim? It's really like that. It's a pretty easy decision to not be anywhere near that person, I can't help fix it either as she sees nothing wrong... .but it's still painful to make that decision to completely detach to protect yourself and to not be angry at the loss of your mother, right?
If you have built up a life over years with this person and you are presented with this utter malignancy... .it's pretty hard not to end up with some outright or maybe in your case, residual anger.
