She breaks nc after 3 months

[disorderedsociety]

I haven't replied, deleted her message but she heard through a mutual friend my plans to move out of state. "Hey, I heard you're moving. Good luck and everything." I think this was aimed at me being like hey she cares about what I'm doing, I'm gonna talk to her!

1.) After the months of pain, this confirms again her lack of boundaries.

2.) The message itself is childish. Why message me if I was so horrible, why wish me luck?

My only conclusion is that her rebound guy is already boring her and she's in need of supply.

[Mister Brightside]

You nailed it on every point. It still amazes me how similar many of our stories are. It may be difficult to process a borderline's line of thinking since it is so foreign, but it is helpful to know many of us can relate to one another.

[Infared]

I haven't replied, deleted her message but she heard through a mutual friend my plans to move out of state. "Hey, I heard you're moving. Good luck and everything." I think this was aimed at me being like hey she cares about what I'm doing, I'm gonna talk to her!

1.) After the months of pain, this confirms again her lack of boundaries.

2.) The message itself is childish. Why message me if I was so horrible, why wish me luck?

My only conclusion is that her rebound guy is already boring her and she's in need of supply.

Yeah... .I am still amazed at the behavior. I identify with everything that you said. I am strict NC, too.  I am dumbfound after all of the lies, the cheating, the continued abuse that she childishly thinks one day that she can just walk up to me and thinks we are going to "chat-it-up" like nothing ever happened?  It shows to me that she has no clue how sick she is and how her behavior effects other people. It is mind-blowing, hurtful and sad all at once.

It is also proof to me that she does have a personality disorder.

[Red Devil]

Ha ha Its amazing how similar they all are. I was painted Black last year so I deleted her number. I got a Tex early this year saying How are you Honey. I replied who's that as I didn't regonise the number and when she told me it was her I was shocked. She came out with this stuff how she loves me, wants to move in with me etc while her boyfriend, is at the other end of the country. I was polite but told her no way is she moving in. When she realised she wasn't getting anything out of me she's moved in with her new boyfriend . I know her credit history is bad and has nowhere to go. Another trait ive found with them is anyone like myself who is smart, trains and looks after themselves, won't put up with all the nonsense, the relationships are short lived where as when they meet the not so smart of good looking, out of shape etc , they seem to stick with them. Has anyone else found this. I read these forums and I nod my head how most have similar traits and behaviours

[Allmessedup]

My thought would be that you triggered her abandonment fears All over again with moving. 

Nothing good would Come from a convo about that!

Amu

[disorderedsociety]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself. Is that unrealistic? I know at the bare minimum I'm not creating more pain for myself.

[Infared]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself. Is that unrealistic? I know at the bare minimum I'm not creating more pain for myself.

My experience with my pwBPD is that ignoring her had no effect on her to take a look at herself. If anything it might escalate her immature attempts to make contact... .or cause her to play victim even more to my replacement in the whole manipulative Carpman triangulation game.

Ignoring her avoids contact and for me, any contact meant pain for me as I wanted love and was always getting disordered sickness. Nothing more.

I believe that remaining strong truly protects you.

[Mutt]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself.

Are you asking if she's going to self reflect with her behaviors and say sorry?

Or, if she's going to sense that there's something wrong inside and get treatment?

[disorderedsociety]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself.

Are you asking if she's going to self reflect with her behaviors and say sorry?

Or, if she's going to sense that there's something wrong inside and get treatment?

More so the latter. I keep projecting my non thinking onto her I know.

[Mutt]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself.

Are you asking if she's going to self reflect with her behaviors and say sorry?

Or, if she's going to sense that there's something wrong inside and get treatment?

More so the latter. I keep projecting my non thinking onto her I know.

I don't think there's something wrong with that. I had a long history with my ex wife and I cared about her and still do. I'm a compassionate person and a caretaker.

We were together for several years and I didn't know about personality disorders in the relationship. The information was provided after the r/s ended and now that I knew what the problem was there may of been a chance that I can tell her so I can help her. I don't think that I was projecting and I do think that I was in denial.

It took me a few months to absorb that she is indeed ill and that she is not aware that's mentally ill, she's going to have to help herself and I can't do that for her however good my intentions are.

Do you feel like there's a chance that you may be able to help?

[disorderedsociety]

I'm wondering if ignoring her will make her face any aspect of herself.

Are you asking if she's going to self reflect with her behaviors and say sorry?

Or, if she's going to sense that there's something wrong inside and get treatment?

More so the latter. I keep projecting my non thinking onto her I know.

I don't think there's something wrong with that. I had a long history with my ex wife and I cared about her and still do. I'm a compassionate person and a caretaker.

We were together for several years and I didn't know about personality disorders in the relationship. The information was provided after the r/s ended and now that I knew what the problem was there may of been a chance that I can tell her so I can help her. I don't think that I was projecting and I do think that I was in denial.

It took me a few months to absorb that she is indeed ill and that she is not aware that's mentally ill, she's going to have to help herself and I can't do that for her however good my intentions are.

Do you feel like there's a chance that you may be able to help?

No, hell, when I tried to talk to her about the reasons I left she told me I was everything wrong in her life and gave some petty reasons that she was also a part of. That's far beyond them even listening, and if they pretend to listen, they aren't going to actually heed any advice or anything you say.