Why does she hurt me?

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BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: Why does she hurt me?

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Topic: Why does she hurt me? (Read 826 times)

TimApril

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 8

Why does she hurt me?

« on: June 15, 2015, 07:21:21 PM »

My friendship with a BPD woman changed when I told her I had feelings for her. (at the time I didn't know she had BPD)

Ever since then she's been off and on with me with the push and pull. She knows how I feel about her but always seems to flash and rub and flash her "happy" dating life in my face. My question is why is she out to make me jealous and hurt me? It's like she gets off seeing me jealous or upset.


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joshbjoshb

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Gender: Male

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 241

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2015, 11:05:58 PM »

The real question is why indeed do you get jealous or upset.

Are you scared she will leave you?


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married21years

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Gender: Male

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 609

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2015, 01:37:01 AM »

a person with BPD has to control the level of closeness getting close feeds their worries of what happens if you get close and she loses you not having you close makes them feel they are losing you

imho

catch 22


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married21years

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 609

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2015, 01:51:29 AM »

BPD people are driven by emotion. these are the emotions they feel that drives them to do what they do

by doing this they control the level of there emotions.

they are running from their emotions rather than dealing with them.


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TimApril

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 8

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2015, 03:46:48 AM »

How can I get this to stop without pushing her away? I don't want to lose her... .but I want her to know that I care. Next steps?


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TimApril

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 8

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2015, 03:49:43 AM »

Another example. When I politely asked her to not discuss her dating life with me because it upset me too much to hear as I have feelings for her, she came back literally right after and got involved with someone else. It felt like a jab at me. If I were to step back and ignore or avoid her she would get mad at me... .


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married21years

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 609

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2015, 04:13:24 AM »

sounds like she is trying to punish and blame you for letting her go?

sorry, maybe NC is the best way


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TimApril

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 8

Re: Why does she hurt me?

« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2015, 06:23:39 AM »

Should I just back away and let her come around? I don't want to lose her.


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