Working at same company with exBPDgf after breakup--triggers her

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi All,

I walked away from the relationship with my ex BPDgf 10 months ago, but we still work for the same company albeit in different departments. At first, I didn't think it would matter, but I'm realizing that it does.

We haven't spoken verbally in 10 months, but we've exchanged a few work-related emails. We were in the same meeting recently and she didn't acknowledge or look at me. I remained professional. We've been at some work functions together and I catch her looking at me and when our paths cross, she looks the other way.  And now she does this thing where she adjusts her clothing (sweaters, short jackets, blouses) whenever she sees me. She does have body image issues, but I always told her that her body was beautiful.

I walked away after over a year because of the silence and moods. But it seems she has withdrawn quite a bit more (she was always low key at work) since the breakup. Recently, I was on her floor for a meeting and suspect she heard my voice as I headed to my meeting because five minutes later, as I sat in my meeting, she walked by leaving for the day. The odd thing is her office is close to her normal exit path, but she made it a point to walk an extra 150ft so we'd see each other. As I looked up and saw her, she predictably and quickly looked away and pulled at her short jacket. This was our first time seeing each other in a few weeks because of vacations and such.

I think she hates me although she continues to cyber stalk me on our work computers. Is it possible that she deliberately won't look at me because of guilt from cyber stalking and mirroring me albeit covertly?

Anyway, obviously me still being around is a struggle for her. I've started to look into changing jobs because I don't want to continue to be a trigger for her. It's easier for me to change jobs since she struggles with the interview process... .

Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.

sixthsense

[sixthsense]

Hi All,

I walked away from the relationship with my ex BPDgf 10 months ago, but we still work for the same company albeit in different departments. At first, I didn't think it would matter, but I'm realizing that it does.

We haven't spoken verbally in 10 months, but we've exchanged a few work-related emails. We were in the same meeting recently and she didn't acknowledge or look at me. I remained professional. We've been at some work functions together and I catch her looking at me and when our paths cross, she looks the other way.  And now she does this thing where she adjusts her clothing (sweaters, short jackets, blouses) whenever she sees me. She does have body image issues, but I always told her that her body was beautiful.

I walked away after over a year because of the silence and moods. But it seems she has withdrawn quite a bit more (she was always low key at work) since the breakup. Recently, I was on her floor for a meeting and suspect she heard my voice as I headed to my meeting because five minutes later, as I sat in my meeting, she walked by leaving for the day. The odd thing is her office is close to her normal exit path, but she made it a point to walk an extra 150ft so we'd see each other. As I looked up and saw her, she predictably and quickly looked away and pulled at her short jacket. This was our first time seeing each other in a few weeks because of vacations and such.

I think she hates me although she continues to cyber stalk me on our work computers. Is it possible that she deliberately won't look at me because of guilt from cyber stalking and mirroring me albeit covertly?

Anyway, obviously me still being around is a struggle for her. I've started to look into changing jobs because I don't want to continue to be a trigger for her. It's easier for me to change jobs since she struggles with the interview process... .

Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.

sixthsense