Got the call - 4 weeks NC

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I was at work today and here comes the phone call. Out of the blue. Sent it directly to VM. Listened to voicemail but it cut her off which is funny. I really, really want to call her and let it rip but I know nothing good can come from it.

I have so many questions even though I am the one who cut her off from contact. I want to ask her why all the lying? I know the answer. It's me who's lying and what a jerk I am for calling her a liar.

I am just so pissed that someone could make me look like a fool.

[WhatJustHappened?]

So I was at work today and here comes the phone call. Out of the blue. Sent it directly to VM. Listened to voicemail but it cut her off which is funny. I really, really want to call her and let it rip but I know nothing good can come from it.

I have so many questions even though I am the one who cut her off from contact. I want to ask her why all the lying? I know the answer. It's me who's lying and what a jerk I am for calling her a liar.

I am just so pissed that someone could make me look like a fool.

[DyingLove]

So I was at work today and here comes the phone call. Out of the blue. Sent it directly to VM. Listened to voicemail but it cut her off which is funny. I really, really want to call her and let it rip but I know nothing good can come from it.

I have so many questions even though I am the one who cut her off from contact. I want to ask her why all the lying? I know the answer. It's me who's lying and what a jerk I am for calling her a liar.

I am just so pissed that someone could make me look like a fool.

WOW!  Just WOW!  4 weeks.   It can't come to anything good.  We all know that. But I understand your curiosity

I'm three months out.  Haven't heard a peep except for the first day.  Just what make my ex feel so superior that she doesn't call?  She took everything after 4 freakin years and not a peep after breaking up with me.  Damn her and her BPD.

[WhatJustHappened?]

I just want closure but I know closure with a BPD is impossible. I don't know what to do. I want to be the bigger person here because I pretty much pulled a "cut and run". Some part of me says that I owe her an explanation but then I know I'm not dealing with a rational person. What to do, what to do.

[Mutt]

What was the tone of her voice in the voice message?

[WhatJustHappened?]

Calm with long pauses. The only part that was recorded was "I don't want to leave you a long message but I would have thought after all our conversations... ." Click.

[Mutt]

It sounds like she could be frustrated and there's a hint of emotional blackmail and guilt.

You could talk to her now or you could also wait until you're further along your health path.

[WhatJustHappened?]

Mutt-what do you think the frustration is? That I am not responding? Oh, I'm sure the emotional blackmail and guilt cards are being played.

[Mutt]

Absolutely it's frustrating when someone doesn't respond.

[DyingLove]

Absolutely it's frustrating when someone doesn't respond.

Mutt, so even though it's been 3 months, do you think my ex "feels" the fact that I didn't reach out to her?  Kinda like justwhathappened?

[Mutt]

Absolutely it's frustrating when someone doesn't respond.

Mutt, so even though it's been 3 months, do you think my ex "feels" the fact that I didn't reach out to her?  Kinda like justwhathappened?

In WhatJustHappened?'s situation is that his ex is going through a divorce and most likely her H is cast in the role of persecutor and she's looking for a rescuer.

You may choose to create a new a thread DyingLove and 'll join.

[WhatJustHappened?]

Well, I feel better. Good for me. Called exBPD back and got voicemail. Left her a message for at least my closure. I told her that I know she had been lying to me and that was pretty much it.

Probably not the best idea but I felt like it needed to be done for my sake. I hate letting people think they got one over on me.

Oh, also sent her an email too just in case.

[no_ordinary]

i got the message from my ex after 4 months of strict NC.  She was furious because I didn't say hello to her on the street, but i really didn't notice her.      such a beautiful woman, but obviously, i'm blind for her now days. 

time is on my (our) side...    

btw, she doesn't believe me, and i really don't care anymore. 

[bjm]

I just want closure but I know closure with a BPD is impossible. I don't know what to do. I want to be the bigger person here because I pretty much pulled a "cut and run". Some part of me says that I owe her an explanation but then I know I'm not dealing with a rational person. What to do, what to do.

I did the same thing... .Its been 6 weeks and I haven't heard a word.  Did you give her an explanation, or just bail?

I actually wish my ex would call but I think she is gone for good... .

[rotiroti]

I just want closure but I know closure with a BPD is impossible. I don't know what to do. I want to be the bigger person here because I pretty much pulled a "cut and run". Some part of me says that I owe her an explanation but then I know I'm not dealing with a rational person. What to do, what to do.

I did the same thing... .Its been 6 weeks and I haven't heard a word.  Did you give her an explanation, or just bail?

I actually wish my ex would call but I think she is gone for good... .

Isn't that a good thing? I think subconsciously, you know this to be a good thing. Afterall, you are posting here on the leaving thread!