Which one started/imposed the NC?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm curious how many people made NC their conscious decision (and how they felt about it) over the number of people who had their pwBPD (ex, friend, family) enforce it, and those who agreed to have no contact mutually.

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I'm curious how many people made NC their conscious decision (and how they felt about it) over the number of people who had their pwBPD (ex, friend, family) enforce it, and those who agreed to have no contact mutually.

[UserName69]

Both of us did it at some point. When she got upset she went NC and went I was upset I went NC. After she dumped me she still wanted to be friends with me, I did this in the past and before I knew it she wanted me back. I knew she wanted to do this again, I'm not a toy. So I decided to move on with someone else and ignore her completely. When I told her I'm dating an another girl she freaked out and blocked me from her FB. I have blocked her too from FB, blocked her phonenumber, blocked her email. I don't miss her and I can't see why I should I'm glad she's gone now, I'm glad I don't have to deal with her anymore, I hope she'll never ever contact me.

[coldmist]

My exBPDgf went NC out of nowhere and it hurt like hell. I believe I had triggered her fears of engulfment and abandonment so she discarded me before I could discard her even though I never would have done so. I went through the grief process and came to realize I don't need someone toxic like that in my life. I would have given her the love she so desperately desires but her disorder won't allow for it. It's her loss.

[rotiroti]

Thanks to all the information here, I was able to recognize the   fairly quickly. It hurt, but after thinking about it, I decided it would be best to go n/c. For both our sake.

I had considered LC or medium chill, but I didn't think the temptation would be worth it for me.

[SummerStorm]

Mine started NC one afternoon a few weeks ago, a week after she got out of the hospital and a day after she asked me to hang out with her the following weekend (I had plans and couldn't go anyway). 

It was honestly the coldest thing anyone has ever done to me.  I was just sitting there, watching a video on my phone, when all of the sudden, it started vibrating with a stream of texts.  I opened them up, and it was just an angry tirade, blaming me for all kinds of things and telling me I'm "poison."  I tried to reason with her, and she just said, "Go away."  I said, "So, after all we've been through, this is it?" Her response? "Yep."

She eventually stopped replying completely, and she even refused to reply to texts sent from my mom's phone.  She then unfollowed me on Twitter and told her boyfriend to stop communicating with me. 

A few months ago, she also initiated NC with her father.  They had a falling out earlier in the year, and he tried to fix things, but she wouldn't listen.  She kept going over her data limit, and she was on his plan, so he was paying for it.  She is almost 23, is a college graduate, has a teaching certificate, and wouldn't communicate with him, so he decided it was time to take her off his plan.  She got mad, got a new phone, got a new number, and never told him her new number. 

[rotiroti]

From your mom's phone? Could you elaborate?


I could see how that could be misconstrued after being painted black

[problemsolver]

From your mom's phone? Could you elaborate?


I could see how that could be misconstrued after being painted black

I'm not him but I assume he means she blocked his # so he attempted to msg her from an unblocked # aka his mom's phone.

[Invictus01]

Personality disordered people don't go NC. They dishout silent treatment. Whether it is to harm you or protect themselves it really doesn't matter, the outcome is the same - it harms you.

[SummerStorm]

From your mom's phone? Could you elaborate?


I could see how that could be misconstrued after being painted black

I had my mom send her a message, telling her to return some things she borrowed from me.  She used to call my mom "Mom," so I thought that she would at least reply to her and say she would return them, but she never did.