I'm Hot. Congrats, you lost this-a tongue in cheek thread of encouragement

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Ok friends. I know looks aren't everything. In fact, I've never dated based on looks... .it's usually personality and if they can make me laugh. That's most important to me. Funny how I stayed in a relationship for three years that mostly made me cry.

This past Dec I had weight loss surgery. I attempted this a year earlier but my ex went all ape-shiz thinking I might die and actually dumped me the day before the original surgery.

In retrospect I'm thinking ok, she was concerned I might die so let's dump her and put her in a great mindset before a major surgical procedure.

I ended up canceling it.

Since Dec I have lost 80lbs. I am not a narcissist by any means but on a scale of 1-10 I'm a 9.5. I feel so good about myself and how far I've come my attitude has probably raised the bar to a 12. I just feel healthier and am projecting a more positive outlook to those around me and people are commenting.  

I can honestly say my weight loss was part of the reason I was left. My ex (we are in a same sex relationship... .well were) was really upset at the attention I was getting... .primarily from men. I'm a girly girl. I don't wear Birkenstocks and have a crew cut. I wear dresses. I wear heels. I curl my hair. I curl my eyelashes

I know this post sounds a little bragging. It's really not. I'm just sitting here thinking... .

My ex looks worn for being 43. Dark circles and wrinkles. She has no personality (mirrored mine) no interests (mirrored mine) was horribly in debt from a past gambling addiction and other spending sprees (this she did NOT mirror from me)

She dropped out of college and owes over 27k on loans an additional 40k from gambling away her savings and 401k.

I'm sitting here thinking about all this and realizing... .why the hell am I broken up over this loser? IM the catch! I'm the one that has everything going for me. I'm too good for her.

And she knows it.

Next.

This final breakup was very hard for me because the person she left me for (who actually persued her) was a new "friend" of ours from a social group I run. I mistakenly confided in this woman about our rocky relationship and the fact I was cheated on (she informed me she was too).

And then she went for her.

This woman is 350lbs. She's attractive but a snake.

Her weight does not matter yet in this case it did make me insecure since I just lost 80lbs and got dropped for her.

The past few weeks I have been jealous but then it hit me.

She has no idea what she's in for. She actually did this woman (me) a favor.

I won't thank her (because she intentionally did this) but I am grateful because I'm finally at top of my game, looking and feeling good about myself.

I'll eventually have a loving, honest and sane partner.

She will have a broken doll with bad character and dangerous impulsive behavior.

Not to mention a wacky, psycho sister and mother who are enablers of this poor behavior (they have cluster b tendencies as well).

To all those dealing with a similar situation do things to make you feel good. Work out, treat yourself to new clothes, a new look. It really does make you feel better that's for sure.

You can't change your ex or the situation but you can work on yourself and your self esteem and find a more deserving partner, in fact there are many more deserving partners out there than your crappy, emotionally abusive ex.

Love thyself.

Best,

PW

[Pretty Woman]

Ok friends. I know looks aren't everything. In fact, I've never dated based on looks... .it's usually personality and if they can make me laugh. That's most important to me. Funny how I stayed in a relationship for three years that mostly made me cry.

This past Dec I had weight loss surgery. I attempted this a year earlier but my ex went all ape-shiz thinking I might die and actually dumped me the day before the original surgery.

In retrospect I'm thinking ok, she was concerned I might die so let's dump her and put her in a great mindset before a major surgical procedure.

I ended up canceling it.

Since Dec I have lost 80lbs. I am not a narcissist by any means but on a scale of 1-10 I'm a 9.5. I feel so good about myself and how far I've come my attitude has probably raised the bar to a 12. I just feel healthier and am projecting a more positive outlook to those around me and people are commenting.  

I can honestly say my weight loss was part of the reason I was left. My ex (we are in a same sex relationship... .well were) was really upset at the attention I was getting... .primarily from men. I'm a girly girl. I don't wear Birkenstocks and have a crew cut. I wear dresses. I wear heels. I curl my hair. I curl my eyelashes

I know this post sounds a little bragging. It's really not. I'm just sitting here thinking... .

My ex looks worn for being 43. Dark circles and wrinkles. She has no personality (mirrored mine) no interests (mirrored mine) was horribly in debt from a past gambling addiction and other spending sprees (this she did NOT mirror from me)

She dropped out of college and owes over 27k on loans an additional 40k from gambling away her savings and 401k.

I'm sitting here thinking about all this and realizing... .why the hell am I broken up over this loser? IM the catch! I'm the one that has everything going for me. I'm too good for her.

And she knows it.

Next.

This final breakup was very hard for me because the person she left me for (who actually persued her) was a new "friend" of ours from a social group I run. I mistakenly confided in this woman about our rocky relationship and the fact I was cheated on (she informed me she was too).

And then she went for her.

This woman is 350lbs. She's attractive but a snake.

Her weight does not matter yet in this case it did make me insecure since I just lost 80lbs and got dropped for her.

The past few weeks I have been jealous but then it hit me.

She has no idea what she's in for. She actually did this woman (me) a favor.

I won't thank her (because she intentionally did this) but I am grateful because I'm finally at top of my game, looking and feeling good about myself.

I'll eventually have a loving, honest and sane partner.

She will have a broken doll with bad character and dangerous impulsive behavior.

Not to mention a wacky, psycho sister and mother who are enablers of this poor behavior (they have cluster b tendencies as well).

To all those dealing with a similar situation do things to make you feel good. Work out, treat yourself to new clothes, a new look. It really does make you feel better that's for sure.

You can't change your ex or the situation but you can work on yourself and your self esteem and find a more deserving partner, in fact there are many more deserving partners out there than your crappy, emotionally abusive ex.

Love thyself.

Best,

PW

[LonelyChild]

Without sounding rude; I don't think many people here can relate much to feeling like a 9.5 after splitting from their BPDso.

[OopsIDidItAgain]

From what I've been reading (every single hour when I'm not sleeping) it's not about looks when your ex BPD attaches to a replacement. They latch onto easier targets. Most people are disgusted opposed to jealous of their "replacements" mine tried to go after our friend until my friend realized she was a pawn in this whole thing. I would have been insulted if that ended up happening. Mine did it for attention.

Maybe you losing weight and doing things to better yourself triggered her fear of abandonment. I got a promotion which I believe triggered mines fear of abandonment. No matter how much we reassured them it always became a chore to prove to them we weren't leaving.

Still, abuse is abuse. Someone else is more deserving of what you have to offer. You're absolutely right

Thanks lonelychild. Your post helped make me feel a little better.

[chill1986]

I'm not sure I'm a 9.5, I think that's for others to judge, but at least an 8 ha!

[chill1986]

What I have done since the break up which has worked for me is;

- started the gym again and lost 2 stone.

- moved out of our house and have a rented flat whilst i secure a mortgage to buy somewhere

- started playing golf

- caught up with friends

- gone out a few times

- started dating! First couple were awful I admit, as I was thinking about my ex, but that lessens and I have now found a really nice girl!

- gone on holiday, nothing fancy just time to get away and relax. Ohh and eat loads and train!

[chill1986]

From what I've been reading (every single hour when I'm not sleeping) it's not about looks when your ex BPD attaches to a replacement. They latch onto easier targets. Most people are disgusted opposed to jealous of their "replacements" mine tried to go after our friend until my friend realized she was a pawn in this whole thing. I would have been insulted if that ended up happening. Mine did it for attention.

Maybe you losing weight and doing things to better yourself triggered her fear of abandonment. I got a promotion which I believe triggered mines fear of abandonment. No matter how much we reassured them it always became a chore to prove to them we weren't leaving.

Still, abuse is abuse. Someone else is more deserving of what you have to offer. You're absolutely right

Thanks lonelychild. Your post helped make me feel a little better.

Interesting I got a new better job at the same time we moved. It put a huge strain on me, something that my ex never seemed to realise. Then shortly afterwards kicked me out.

[Popcorn71]

I love this thread.  It's great to hear positive outcomes from these break ups.

I too have improved drastically since my xBPDh left.  I'd rate myself as 8 (on a good day!) whereas I was a 5 when I was with him and a 9 before I met him.

He really dragged me down and since he left I am returning to my old self, the one he tried to destroy.

I have achieved a lot during the past two years:-

Just before he dumped me I got a great new job.  He didn't like that because he tried to make me financially reliant on him.  Now I have more income than we had between us and I can spend it on anything I want!

I have lost weight and changed my hairstyle back to how I used to have it.  I've gone blonde again instead of the mousy brown that he always said he preferred.  Strange that he replaced me with a brassy fake blonde when he always told me he didn't like blonde women.  He also tried to keep me overweight (to bring down my self esteem I think).  The replacement is fatter than I ever was!

I know I look good (most of the time) now.  Considering I'm 11 years older now than when we met, I would say I look very similar.  It's almost like the past 10 years have been wiped away.  When I was with him, I looked and acted 10 years older than my actual age!

Now I have more time to look after myself.  I can spend hours doing my nails and hair if I want to, instead of having to be there for him.  I can eat healthy food instead of the crap I had when I was with him.  I also have no stress which I believe makes a big difference to how I look and feel.

All in all, he has done me a massive favour.  He's slowly killing himself with his totally unhealthy lifestyle and the replacement is looking much rougher after two years with him too.  But I've been given a new chance for a better healthy life!

[OopsIDidItAgain]

chill,

My promotion did the same to me. In fact the night she told me we weren't working out was the night I had my first major work related anxiety attack. I was getting smaller ones but this one was a big one.

I don't know if it was the moment of weakness or what.

Also, since we're talking about looks here... .Did anyone's else's BPD have an obnoxious obsession with talking about how hot actresses and actors were even watching certain TV shows. It was almost insufferable to sit through. Movie/show

With her she would constantly point out how hot an actress was, to the point she was mentioning it every 3 minutes. If I asked her to stop I was being "jealous" I'm not freakin jealous of a person you're never going to meet, I want to watch the movie! 

[SummerStorm]

Also, since we're talking about looks here... .Did anyone's else's BPD have an obnoxious obsession with talking about how hot actresses and actors were even watching certain TV shows. It was almost insufferable to sit through. Movie/show With her she would constantly point out how hot an actress was, to the point she was mentioning it every 3 minutes. If I asked her to stop I was being "jealous" I'm not freakin jealous of a person you're never going to meet, I want to watch the movie! 

Yep, except mine usually pointed out the men.  We're both bisexual, so I get it, but it also made me insecure.  I kept thinking, ":)oes she really want to be with a woman, or is she happier with men?"  But whenever we watched a show or movie, all I heard was, "He's so handsome."  Even her use of the word "handsome" annoyed me.  I've never heard a 22 year old use that word.  Every man she finds attractive is "handsome."  I don't know.  There's just something about that word.  I feel like older women use that word when referring to older men.  But really, my mom is almost 70, and I don't think I've ever heard her use that word.  She says "cute" or "good-looking." It kind of made me think that my exBPD was searching more for a father figure/someone to take care of her (she and her dad aren't close).  And with me, it also felt like she was searching for a mother figure (her mom lives in a different state and she doesn't see her much).   

It's so weird.  Your ex is basically a slightly older version of mine.  I can find similarities in almost everyone's story, but whenever I read your posts, I think, "Yep, that would have been me in a few years."  Mine is committed to getting treatment now, and I hope she sticks with it, but only time will tell.

[OopsIDidItAgain]

I am 30 and she is 26 so we had a bit of an age gap.

She had a bit of daddy and mommy issues. I think I kind of filled both those voids. I'm not butch I'm not femme. I mean I guess think along the lines of Jillian Michaels as how I present myself. Kind of a tough exterior yet, feminine enough to not be considered butch... A "Chapstick" lesbian if you will.

But like Orange is the New Black is like one of my favorite things. But damn if she didn't ruin it for me this season. I get Ruby Rose is hot, totally get it. I'm fit with tattoos as well. But dear god, every 3 minutes "oh my god she's so hot" "oh my god I want her to eff me" "ughhhh I can't even look at her" ... .I just hate how I always got accused of being jealous. I'm attractive, I dated hot girls before her and I'm going to date hot girls after her. I don't need to be jealous of people on TV. ( though I wouldn't mind having Rubys fan base going after me too )

[SummerStorm]

I am 30 and she is 26 so we had a bit of an age gap.

She had a bit of daddy and mommy issues. I think I kind of filled both those voids. I'm not butch I'm not femme. I mean I guess think along the lines of Jillian Michaels as how I present myself. Kind of a tough exterior yet, feminine enough to not be considered butch... A "Chapstick" lesbian if you will.

But like Orange is the New Black is like one of my favorite things. But damn if she didn't ruin it for me this season. I get Ruby Rose is hot, totally get it. I'm fit with tattoos as well. But dear god, every 3 minutes "oh my god she's so hot" "oh my god I want her to eff me" "ughhhh I can't even look at her" ... .I just hate how I always got accused of being jealous. I'm attractive, I dated hot girls before her and I'm going to date hot girls after her. I don't need to be jealous of people on TV. ( though I wouldn't mind having Rubys fan base going after me too )

The gap was bigger with us.  I'm 29 and she's 22.  And yes, I'm in between as well.  Not butch, not femme.  Just me.

I'm lucky.  She went NC with me before she had a chance to watch the new season of OITNB.  She loves tattoos, so I'm sure she would have had a lot to say about Ruby Rose.  One of the times when she pointed out how handsome an actor was, I just replied, "Yeah, I actually like him better in comedies."  I didn't feed into it at all. 

She loved when I was jealous, but she hated being jealous and pulled me away from everyone.  This was hilarious because I basically have no social circle, so she ended up pulling me away from co-workers I don't even like that much.  Once, she was at a party with her boyfriend (again, my situation was completely messed up) and texted me to tell me how sexy his twin brother's voice is.  I made a snarky comment, and she replied, "You're being such a jealous girlfriend right now, and I f___ing love it."  She also wanted to know how long I'd been jealous of her boyfriend.  She then replied, "Yeah, I'm jealous of J and C."  I didn't know how to respond.  She was jealous of two co-workers that I barely talk to at work, much less outside of work.  Plus, one of them is a gay man, and the other is a happily married straight woman! 

She was also jealous of how close am I to my parents.  I spend a lot of time with them, and she just hated the fact that I would go away for the day with my dad/mom or both parents and not ask her to come along, so she would text me all day about something awful that had happened to her that morning, pulling my attention away from whatever fun thing I should have been doing.  It actually really pissed me off.  Her dramatics completely ruined a day trip my dad and I went on that we had been planning for months.   

[OopsIDidItAgain]

She would LOVE when I got jealous. Or... .when she thought I was jealous. I'm not really a jealous person. I just don't like to see her play games. That Nick Jonas 'Jealous' song she would always blast it and say "this song is about you!" and I would say "You just like the part where you think you're so sexy beautiful and everyone wants a taste. I think that strokes your ego more than mine, babe." and she would get mad and poke me and claim that I was jealous and ALSO say it was hot. But then later down the road said "Ew, you're so insecure"  We all have insecurities but, I wasn't as jealous possessive as she claimed me to be.

She always talked about people wanting her and having crushes on her. I don't think she liked when I didn't react to it so she could again accuse me of being jealous and not wanting to talk about it. Cool, people get hit on. A random man/woman hit on you they didn't know you were involved. Good for them for chatting it up with you! I don't freakin care!

Question... since we seem to be living parallel lives, Summer... .Did yours get mad if you tried to call or text her when she was out with friends. But god forbid you didn't answer her calls or texts when you were not avail?

One time I took a really long nap and she ended up texting like 4 of my friends and then sent her mom to check on me to see if I was home. She claimed she wanted to see if I was ok because it was weird I wasn't answering. She then asked her mother to wake me up because I had an issue sleeping at night if I took naps. I texted her "Wtf I was sleeping!" and her response "I just wanted you to talk to me. I'm bored  Plus you won't be able to sleep tonight"

Also, if I told her I was home she would insist I send her pics of the cats. I think this is just to make sure I was home.

[myself]

PW, it's good you're putting some of your focus on you now, instead of her. But it's still quite a bit about her. It's great you're getting healthier in various ways, and feeling better about yourself. Keep detaching/letting go.

[OopsIDidItAgain]

Myself,

I keep going back and forth with things I could have done better. Believe me, yesterday was a complete cry session on my part of me thinking of all the things I said out of anger. I always found with her that a lot of people always let her do what she wanted so if you gave it right back to her it snapped her back to reality (her mothers advice)

However, I'm now feeling terrible that I did not research her actions before or even believe my therapist 4 months ago she said my girlfriend was BPD and I should research it.

I do not see people as disorders. My best friend is bipolar and I never once thought of her as "My bipolar friend!" So sometimes when you're hurting it's not hard at all to lash out at someone and hit them where it hurts. I feel like I had a lack of understanding which is making me feel terrible. It's no excuse for her abuse of me but... I feel like now with knowledge I could manage it better.

Yet, so many people are saying they are married to BPD people and they want out so badly but they can't. Even with education, would I have still been a better partner? Or would I have made myself more vulnerable?

I know this time apart should be all about me, and I'm trying so hard to make it about me. I'm trying to take things my therapist tells me now and learn from them instead of thinking I'm always right. I honestly found an amazing therapist and I'm more than happy I found her. I always feel empowered when I leave our sessions.

Years before my relationship with my BPDgf. I was in a physically abusive relationship with a malignant narcissist who threatened to murder me.

I'm trying to look at ME now and see what it is I did wrong. I'm an attractive successful person. But I am also very kind and forgiving which makes me think I'm a good target. That's all I feel like right now is a target. I'm working out a lot and trying to take better care of my body. But I'm sitting here wondering why... Am I doing it for me and my personal training business or am I doing it to make my body better that she's going to regret even more that she pulled the things she pulled. However, my replacement was about 350lbs (My replacement is my friend who saw right through her and rejected her). I highly doubt ripped abs are going to show her a damn thing.

I'm having trouble figuring out my own motives here and I feel completely and utterly insane.

[SummerStorm]

Question... since we seem to be living parallel lives, Summer... .Did yours get mad if you tried to call or text her when she was out with friends. But god forbid you didn't answer her calls or texts when you were not avail?

Well, mine has no friends, so no, .  But she did get annoyed with me or just ignored me completely when she was with her boyfriend and was in full idealization mode.  

Mine didn't have contact info for my friends or family, but she would definitely text me at random times, including the middle of the night when she knew I was sleeping.  One night, I assumed she was out with her boyfriend, so I didn't bother keeping my phone near me.  This was long before there was anything romantic between us.  The next time I checked, I had a bunch of messages from her, telling me that she was at a bar and asking me why I wasn't replying.  This was at like 11 at night on a Saturday, and I lead a very boring life, so she knew I was at home.  She actually said at one point, "SummerStorm, why have you abandoned meeeeee?"  Wow, what a red flag, eh?

Another time, she texted me like 11 times and told me all about how she was sick and throwing up.  Once again, it was a lot of, "Please reply to me.  Are you sleeping?  Why aren't you replying?"  

The best example of this came in mid-May.  I woke up from an afternoon nap  to find a message from her about how she had been thinking about me all day (this was the beginning of the strongest pull session I got from her).  She then texted me for a few hours, went to a party with her boyfriend, texted me during the party, and then continued to text me after I went to sleep.  I woke up to find 18 texts from her.  It was basically a stream of, "Miss you... .I just want to have sex with you right now... .There are two girls grinding here, and I'm so turned on, but I just want to be grinding with you... .Wake up, Summer Storm... .Miss you... .Love you... .Miss you."  It ended with her telling me that her boyfriend had hit her and split her lip, which I now know was a lie.

But toward the end, she started telling me I was "psychotic" when I texted her a few times because I didn't understand that she was "busy."  It actually makes me sick to think about it.  

What really makes me sick, though, is that she was doing all of this because she was trying to sabotage her relationship with her boyfriend and was grooming me to be his replacement.  No matter how hard she tried, he kept holding on.  I think this was a shock to her system because she just expected him to leave her.  Then, she tried to convince herself that he was a bad guy and that she should leave him.  Hindsight is 20/20, and she wasn't diagnosed with BPD until after all of this went down, so I know this now, but at the time, I stupidly thought that she was telling the truth and that I was rescuing her from her abusive boyfriend.  She told me stories about how awful her other boyfriends were, so I thought she just had really bad taste in men.  

I actually do think this guy is a good match for her, and although I find it incredibly stupid that he's dropping everything to move across the country with her, I do hope it works out between them.  The difference between her boyfriend and me is that when she said, "You deserve better than me," I agreed and let go, while he disagreed and held on.  I don't think that makes him better or worse than me, but it does mean that he's going to have to continue to deal with this every day.

[OopsIDidItAgain]

Who knows if what she is telling you about him is even the truth.

The one who she tried to get to be my replacement has showed me some texts from her that made me out to be a monster. My friend was always like "Um, no I don't see it that way PX treats you like gold!" and her responses were "No, you don't understand. She's terrible!"

She even told my friend that her best friend was in fear for my exes LIFE because she didn't know what I was capable of. Seriously? I know this is not at all true because that friend actually texted me and said "This is just her July thing!"

[SummerStorm]

Oh, I guarantee she wasn't telling the truth.  I actually texted back and forth with him while she was in the hospital.  He's young and naive and has made some stupid decisions, but he's not a bad guy.

The night she told me he hit her, she even sent me a pic of her bloody lip.  I have no idea how it got that way, but it wasn't from him intentionally hitting her.  She told me that she slapped him first, and if I know her, she kept going at him.  If I had to guess, he probably tried to hold her back, and in the process her lip got messed up.  Hell, for all I know, she just bit down on it while eating or something.

The funny thing is, he's so nice that she struggled to even lie about him.  And since he texted me for over a month, including daily when she was in the hospital, she also can't lie about me.  She is definitely an interesting case of BPD.  Some of her symptoms are just over the top in their seriousness, but there is also a caring side to her.  She didn't have to send me a card or send back the things she borrowed from me, but she did.  Having said that, she really didn't apologize for the terrible things she did, and she made it seem like me talking to her is the cause of all the chaos in her life.

[Mutt]

My ex looks worn for being 43. Dark circles and wrinkles. She has no personality (mirrored mine) no interests (mirrored mine) was horribly in debt from a past gambling addiction and other spending sprees (this she did NOT mirror from me)

She dropped out of college and owes over 27k on loans an additional 40k from gambling away her savings and 401k.

Hi Pretty Woman,

I can see how that would hurt when you're going in for surgery and a partner rejects you. I'm sorry to hear that you went through that.

It sounds like your ex has her own battles. There's often an underlying clinical depression and anxiety, low-self esteem, feelings of hopelessness. A pwBPD have an identity disturbance and persistent unstable sense of self, the person is not sure who they are and may have unstable life goals, that could be the reason why she dropped out of college?

Gambling problems can create issues with interpersonal relationships and BPD is associated with unstable self-image, impulsitivity and chaotic interpersonal relationships. There's evidence with personality disorders and problematic gambling, further relevance research is needed with bio-social development and BPD.

Problem gambling is a significant mental health problem that creates a multitude of intrapersonal, interpersonal, and social difficulties. Recent empirical evidence suggests that personality disorders, and in particular borderline personality disorder (BPD), are commonly co-morbid with problem gambling. Despite this finding there has been very little research examining overlapping factors between these two disorders. The aim of this review is to summarise the literature exploring the relationship between problem gambling and personality disorders. The co-morbidity of personality disorders, particularly BPD, is reviewed and the characteristics of problem gamblers with co-morbid personality disorders are explored. An etiological model from the more advanced BPD literature-the biosocial developmental model of BPD-is used to review the similarities between problem gambling and BPD across four domains: early parent-child interactions, emotion regulation, co-morbid psychopathology and negative outcomes. It was concluded that personality disorders, in particular BPD are commonly co-morbid among problem gamblers and the presence of a personality disorder complicates the clinical picture. Furthermore BPD and problem gambling share similarities across the biosocial developmental model of BPD. Therefore clinicians working with problem gamblers should incorporate routine screening for personality disorders and pay careful attention to the therapeutic alliance, client motivations and therapeutic boundaries. Furthermore adjustments to therapy structure, goals and outcomes may be required. Directions for future research include further research into the applicability of the biosocial developmental model of BPD to problem gambling.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25373399

[Invictus01]

8 months out and I am in the best shape of my life, best running distances, best lifting numbers, had to replace 75% of my wardrobe 'cause stuff was too big... .and I was a college tennis player 20 years ago or so. Not that I didn't have enough attention from women before, now it is comical Thanks, ex! 

[OopsIDidItAgain]

8 months out and I am in the best shape of my life, best running distances, best lifting numbers, had to replace 75% of my wardrobe 'cause stuff was too big... .and I was a college tennis player 20 years ago or so. Not that I didn't have enough attention from women before, now it is comical Thanks, ex! 

Congrats! You should be very happy for all you accomplished!

[greenmonkey]

I am nearly 9 months out,  - I am 4 stone lighter dropped 4 jean sizes, cycle 30-40 miles a day.

I have now got a management role within a male dominated industry which allows me to go to all over attending festivals and events.

My life has improved 1000x and there are no regrets and after my first big events where I ran a section for a week managing 10 guys, I know I am now finally back to me - as this time last year she had largely destroyed me and I was unable to work.

It takes time we will all get there and when we do - our lives have improved by such vast amounts we really appreciate it.

I am looking forwards to a very very bright future - and hopefully someone to share it with

[Pretty Woman]

You GO Green Monkey!

That's awesome! You sound in a very good place mentally and in spirit.