Why cant I stop analyzing what he does and says?
Because you, like anyone who is mentally stable, want answers that your ex and anyone with BPD just can't answer.
Everything about BPD is baffling to us. In a normal relationship, we usually know why things went sour. For example, maybe one partner develops a gambling addiction that puts the family's finances in jeopardy or there are fights every day and both partners just decide that they've had enough. Even if we don't, we can probably say, "Yeah, things weren't the same after a few months. We just sort of drifted apart." Most importantly, even after a breakup, partners in a normal relationship are willing to put aside differences and sort out things like who gets the dog, when the other person can come and move his/her stuff out, etc.
In a relationship with a pwBPD, we are often just discarded after a fit of rage, and we usually have no idea why the person had that fit of rage. It leaves us searching for answers, and we try to find those answers in what the person said/did. However, that only makes it worse because what pwBPD says is usually the exact opposite of what the person does.
