Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 07:15:28 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF? (Read 441 times)
Isa_lala
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 280
How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
on:
August 05, 2015, 10:25:30 AM »
Hello
It’s been 3 years of weekly up-and-downs, of outrage bursts and all the behaviors usually seen in a person with a BPD.
For the first 2 years or so, it had been unthinkable for me to leave him. For the last few months, I started to consider leaving him and now, for the last few weeks, my feelings for him are slowly fading away.
Have you experienced it before you finally detached from your BPD loved one?
Thank you
Logged
Pretty Woman
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1683
The Greatest Love is the Love You Give Yourself
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #1 on:
August 05, 2015, 10:39:36 AM »
I went through the same. The first two years insane. This last year I truly felt I was outgrowing her. She had caused so many issues in my life... .affected my relationships with family and friends... .my job, my interests. I truly felt she was living through me. It wasn't that we were complimenting each others lives.
I was afraid of being alone. That is why I didn't pull the trigger. The truth was I was always alone in this relationship.
PW
Logged
Lifewriter16
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: GF/BF only. We never lived together.
Posts: 1003
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #2 on:
August 05, 2015, 10:47:18 AM »
Hi Isa_lala,
I found that the more badly my BPDxbf behaved and the more recycles we went through, the more I cut-off from my feelings of love for him. It was like the feelings disappeared and I couldn't even remember what that love had felt like, although I knew that I had felt love for him. However, as soon as we broke up, the love and need for him came back with avengence. I hadn't actually stopped loving him, it was just my way of garnering strength because I knew I was going to have to leave. I've had to address the feelings since the breakup... .and I'm still in that process.
Lifewriter x
Logged
Isa_lala
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 280
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #3 on:
August 05, 2015, 10:50:17 AM »
Quote from: Pretty Woman on August 05, 2015, 10:39:36 AM
I went through the same. The first two years insane. This last year I truly felt I was outgrowing her. She had caused so many issues in my life... .affected my relationships with family and friends... .my job, my interests. I truly felt she was living through me. It wasn't that we were complimenting each others lives.
I was afraid of being alone. That is why I didn't pull the trigger. The truth was I was always alone in this relationship.
PW
Hello Pretty Woman
Have you left her or are you still with her?
Logged
Isa_lala
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 280
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #4 on:
August 05, 2015, 10:52:22 AM »
Quote from: Lifewriter16 on August 05, 2015, 10:47:18 AM
Hi Isa_lala,
I found that the more badly my BPDxbf behaved and the more recycles we went through, the more I cut-off from my feelings of love for him. It was like the feelings disappeared and I couldn't even remember what that love had felt like, although I knew that I had felt love for him. However, as soon as we broke up, the love and need for him came back with avengence. I hadn't actually stopped loving him, it was just my way of garnering strength because I knew I was going to have to leave. I've had to address the feelings since the breakup... .and I'm still in that process.
Lifewriter x
I feel the same way. So I believe the risks are high to go back with him if I break up because the feelings of love could come back?
Logged
rotiroti
formerly neveragainthanks
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 758
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #5 on:
August 05, 2015, 11:04:51 AM »
I have felt exactly the same.
I felt like I was happy and emotionally satisfied. It was certainly exciting and looking back I was confusing intensity with intimacy and love.
I was really sad and lonely when I realized that I wasn't happy when this person was with me. Especially as she was becoming angry, criticizing me, and worst of all giving me the silent treatment. I thought about my future and myself at those moments and knew it wasn't the life i wanted. No one should feel like that in their own home, let alone from someone they love
Logged
Isa_lala
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 280
Re: How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
«
Reply #6 on:
August 05, 2015, 11:40:48 AM »
It may simply be the logical detachment process... .
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...