I'm crushed.

[Schermarhorn]

She has hurt me so much in this past, but this time it's too much.

Yesterday she sent me a message, asking if we could be honest and have an honest conversation. Even though I knew she was lying through most of it, we both apologized and forgave each other. After that, she wanted to meet up next week and catch up, I accepted after a while.

This was exactly what she did the last time we recycled, and I was getting sucked in again.

Tonight I texted her, and we ended up talking for about 4 hours about our favorite show (GoT). When she mentioned that she was going to bed. I sent her a message saying that even though we already forgave each other, that I wanted her to know that I think she is a good person. She responds and told me she doesn't think I am.

She has said so many things that were much worse before, and they hurt like hell... .but for some reason this was like the final dagger to the heart. This time it felt like she was genuinely trying to hurt me as much as she could.

I did what I always should've done, I just blocked her on everything and I am removing her from my life. I don't care what she thinks anymore, as far as I am conviced she is Satan himself. All I know is that I am deeply hurt, more now than ever.

At least I can sleep tonight knowing I will never talk to her again.

Goodnight all.

[SGraham]

Im sorry to hear that man, you don't deserve that. Best wishes

[Turkish]

There seems to be a disconnect between your conversations and what she said to you in response to her text. It could be projection, that you triggered her shame and she lashed out, being unable to reconcile events. Whatever the motivation, it's what she felt at the time. You cutting contact is what you did to protect yourself. How much of what she said, however, do you perhaps feel deep down? It's hurtful to have someone we love (or have a love for) say something so bluntly. She doesn't define who you are as a person, though. You do.

[Mutt]

Hi Schermarhorn,

I know this stings like hell. Don't be hard on yourself when you say you did what you should've always done. Hang in there.

[reflection]

I felt the pain myself when I read her response to you so I can only imagine how much hurt you must be going through.

You really opened yourself up to show her your care and were vulnerable. You should be proud of yourself for doing something so courageous.

I hope you find true healing as you block her out of your life. You deserve better.