I said "no"

[SummerStorm]

Hi everyone,

I'm just here to provide a quick update.  As I wrote a little over a week ago, my former friend BPD broke up with her boyfriend.  Yesterday, she texted me and told me that she needs to find a place to live.

Tonight, she asked me if I have a room for rent because she is about to be homeless.  I said no.

Does my heart break for her?  Yes.  Am I worried about what she will do?  Of course.  But she has to hit rock bottom, and I think this might be her rock bottom. 

I will keep everyone updated.

[twanda2020]

Good for you Summer! 

I think one of the hardest things to do is say "No" to someone you care deeply about. Even harder if you have know that person for a long time. I wish I would have said "No" a few months ago. I would't be sitting here feeling the way I do right now.

Stay strong!

PS. Glad you are posting again.

[SummerStorm]

Good for you Summer! 

I think one of the hardest things to do is say "No" to someone you care deeply about. Even harder if you have know that person for a long time. I wish I would have said "No" a few months ago. I would't be sitting here feeling the way I do right now.

Stay strong!

PS. Glad you are posting again.

School starts this week.  First staff day was today.  Former friend BPD could have easily gotten the position that was open, but she messed up and burned bridges.  The girl who got the job is the same age as former friend BPD and doesn't have as much experience with the one class.  This job was made for her, but she messed it up.   Now, she has to live with the consequences.

[Pretty Woman]

Proud of you. Let her hit rock bottom.

Really glad you returned to the boards, btw... .

This is a great example of boundary setting and protecting yourself!


PW

[rotiroti]

Thanks for the update Summer!

Have a great beginning of the school year and keep on lifin'!

[Invictus01]

Isn't it great how a month ago she didn't want anything to do with you and now she wants to be your rommie? I'm not saying this with sarcasm or anything, this kind of stuff is just so damn bizarre for a normal human brain. If I told somebody a month ago to get lost and not talk to me again, I think I'd go ahead a be homeless before I'd go and ask that person for help... .

[HappyNihilist]

Good for you, Summer! 

It's completely understandable to feel sad and be worried about her. But you took a huge step in taking care of yourself, and that part has to feel good.

I think one of the hardest things to do is say "No" to someone you care deeply about.

Absolutely, even when we know it's in their best interest and ours. It never stops sucking.

Kudos for sticking to your boundaries. 

[Mutt]

Hi SummerStorm,

Thanks for the update It sounds like you're starting a busy week with school and I hope the new school year is off to a good start 

I'm sorry to hear about your friend and how she's struggling.

Good to hear you're not rescuing or fixing. We can have compassion with boundaries and I understand how hard that would be for us to see someone we care about go through this.

[SGraham]

Nice summer storm! Well i gotta say, you've got a lot more control than i would in the same situation. 

[myself]

she messed it up.   Now, she has to live with the consequences.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do, no matter how much we care for the person, is not pick up their slack/take care of things for them, allowing them to handle it on their own. It's not your weight to carry.