Zpinal
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 34
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« on: August 22, 2015, 05:54:43 PM » |
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Like most if not all of you here, I was dumped my that BPD women and replaced by some freaking English loser (I live in a french speaking area in Canada). I was so hurt so confused, I had given my best to support that women who was also Bipolar (co-morbid with BPD and other mental problems like anxiety, recovering from addiction, etc). I had been emotionally unavailable for quite a while, however, slowly but surely things started to get better around xmas time.
That women relationship with my replacement was pretty much the same length as it was with me, not very long. She ended up starting drinking again and went on a 4-5 months therapy to treat the addiction problem. Its like cancer, shes treats the metastasis(addiction) but the core problem is still there and that metastasis will grow back(she will fall back into alcohol eventually). Thats is when I really started to detach but the process took some time. Shes been repeating the same pattern her whole life. A really broken piece of a human being.
I didn't need therapy to get through this but I have to say that this r/l made me realized how much I am surrounded by great people. Since it wasn't the first time i had someone with some kind of mental problems, I asked myself what did i have that attrated that kind of people in my life. Once I found out that rejection fear was my problem, that was causing my self confidence to be virtually absent when it comes to talk/date womens. I am still working on this but rejection dont hurt as much anymore as I had to be the one that rejected some proposition. The fact that i didn't want to be in a r/l with some womens that wanted me doesn't make me an a**h0l3 or them bad or ugly people. So when I get friendzone by someone I would like, I no longer take it personal, sure its not fun but I am confident in my capabilities to take care of someone and if the powers to be(or the universe) decides that we wont walk on this road together, so be it.
I went on a few dates and working on some potential matches, I am just not in a hurry, better be alone than with bad company. One thing that is mentioned alot here is people starting to go to the gym. I did exactly that and I have shed 15 pounds since March and about 25 pounds since that r/l ended. I went from 213 to 188 pounds since Aug of last year. I like the way my body is changing in a healthy fashion, I got pipes and pecs showing, people I would never expect to even look at me are now smiling at me saying hello. I am not aspiring to become a douche, but training is fun and I do it at least 4 times per week. Coming this winter a new hockey season will start again and with my training i should be really fit!
This post is a post of hope for everyone of you out there that is hurting, suffering and wondering whats next, I know its cliché but give yourself time, be honest with yourself and learn to love the amazing human being you all are! This website, the staff and the users on this site sharing their story and their ways to cope have been of great help in my recovery. Keep posting and eventually things will fall back in place and you will be smiling again.
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