Another almost broke NC thread

[nowwhatz]

Was able to stop myself from breaking NC today. 

I am doing casual dating and have been staying socially active over the last few weeks... .which has helped me feel better about myself

The exgf is on a free dating site that I don't look at too often but she came up in the "viewed me" section so I "viewed her."

I had viewed her dishonest profile once before a few months ago and actually messaged her telling her to put up a more recent photo... .will get better results and good luck.  Not sure why I did that... .out of spite or hurt I guess.

This time I was slightly surprised to see she changed her online profile to a more honest one... .no longer has cats and dogs that she never had or a bachelors degree that she never had and she had added a normal, more recent photo to go along with her 2 living doll mugshots. Also she listed her religion accurately I believe.

Well... .my reaction was almost to send her some sort of hope you are well take care sorry things ended the way they did goodbye note.  Did not do it and will not do it ... .scout's honor! 

Am pretty sure had I messaged her now it would only lead to no good and worse.

I recognize that there are behavior patterns from so many recycles that are difficult to break free from.

Well... .about 8 mos out and still one day at a time.

[sas1729]

You know, she may have gotten burned on some dates herself for her dishonesty!

Good thing to stay NC. You're casually dating! For myself casual dating was one of the things that reaffirmed my self-worth. Yes, it's maybe not the best to seek out validation from outside, but at the time I needed it. Plus, casual dating is fun, and you get a chance to learn more about yourself, let alone that there are many types of people out there. After a while I stopped going on dates for validation and instead for the enjoyment of it. I feel hesitant about suggesting that people go on casual dates because I know that not everyone is ready. It is a conscious choice that needs to be made at the right time. Personally, it felt great and was a relief and outlet that I sought when I was ready.

Congrats man!

[Mutt]

Hi nowwhatz,

That's good news that you're staying socially active and casually dating I don't think NC is a fast and hard rule.


If you feel like sending her a goodbye note then do it, if you don't feel like sending one, that's Ok too.