Was able to stop myself from breaking NC today.
I am doing casual dating and have been staying socially active over the last few weeks... .which has helped me feel better about myself

The exgf is on a free dating site that I don't look at too often but she came up in the "viewed me" section so I "viewed her."
I had viewed her dishonest profile once before a few months ago and actually messaged her telling her to put up a more recent photo... .will get better results and good luck. Not sure why I did that... .out of spite or hurt I guess.
This time I was slightly surprised to see she changed her online profile to a more honest one... .no longer has cats and dogs that she never had or a bachelors degree that she never had and she had added a normal, more recent photo to go along with her 2 living doll mugshots. Also she listed her religion accurately I believe.
Well... .my reaction was almost to send her some sort of hope you are well take care sorry things ended the way they did goodbye note. Did not do it and will not do it ... .scout's honor!

Am pretty sure had I messaged her now it would only lead to no good and worse.
I recognize that there are behavior patterns from so many recycles that are difficult to break free from.
Well... .about 8 mos out and still one day at a time.