BPD doing something they said they'd never do once they cut you off?

[misssouthernbelle]

Anyone else experience this?

I always joked with him that he'd get a Facebook. He was adamant about never having one. I find out through friends at dinner (it triggered me, unfortunately, into feeling the despair and pain he caused because I've been doing better) he made one a few weeks ago (about a month after he vanished, after telling me that things were good) and hasn't added my friend or her husband, his long-time friends, because he's apparently painting them black too, which I suspect because they set us up.

I just thought it was so odd for him to be so hell-bent on not having one, only to turn around and get one. Desperate for supply? Trying to spy on me? I don't know, but he has been adding a lot of people and reconnecting with old buddies, from what I could see. It's also been heard through the grapevine how much of an alcoholic he has become, which is a trait of all of the men in his family. Sounds like he's denying, avoiding, and trying to find a replacement.

You can't make sense out of a BPD and I'm not going to. Our friends are just as floored as me at his sudden interest in social media.

It only adds to what they're seeing from him... .his ignoring of them and not just me. It's really beginning to come out how he is.

OH, and I had to include this for laughs! Sometimes, I think the good Lord above has a sense of humor.  

I was creeping (it triggered me a bit and I had to add my Facebook back just to see this profile because I was in such shock that he actually did what he said he'd never do) and on his profile picture, some of his old buddies were saying that he looked good and trying to flirt and kid with him. He was trying to say something to the effect of "Hope all is good" however, autocorrect put my last name because its letters are similar and he would call me by that in text message because I'm a first year teacher that got a job while we were getting to know one another!

Hahahahaha  

He quickly posted another reply with "Hope all is good... .stupid autocorrect" once he saw what he had done.

On the inside, I couldn't hope but laugh and think that after all that he has done to me, he's still haunted by his b*****d ways (or what he's probably projected as me being a b*****d), even if it is autocorrect!  

[shatra]

I am confused by this---

I was creeping (it triggered me a bit and I had to add my Facebook back just to see this profile because I was in such shock that he actually did what he said he'd never do) and on his profile picture, some of his old buddies were saying that he looked good and trying to flirt and kid with him. He was trying to say something to the effect of "Hope all is good" however, autocorrect put my last name because its letters are similar and he would call me by that in text message because I'm a first year teacher that got a job while we were getting to know one another!

---Do u mean that your name is similar to "hope all is good" and facebook automatically filled your name in?

---If so, he may have been looking at your profile, because why else would facebook fill in your name?

---He did have the option of deleting the first comment, but he left it there. Sounds like he wanted you or others to see it---why would he want to do that?

[saintgrey]

My ex pretty much stab me in the back with delicate things, something she swore would never going to happend even in the events of a breakup... .it was pretty much the first thing she spilled !

[misssouthernbelle]

I am confused by this---

I was creeping (it triggered me a bit and I had to add my Facebook back just to see this profile because I was in such shock that he actually did what he said he'd never do) and on his profile picture, some of his old buddies were saying that he looked good and trying to flirt and kid with him. He was trying to say something to the effect of "Hope all is good" however, autocorrect put my last name because its letters are similar and he would call me by that in text message because I'm a first year teacher that got a job while we were getting to know one another!

---Do u mean that your name is similar to "hope all is good" and facebook automatically filled your name in?

---If so, he may have been looking at your profile, because why else would facebook fill in your name?

---He did have the option of deleting the first comment, but he left it there. Sounds like he wanted you or others to see it---why would he want to do that?

Yes, my last name has a lot of the same letters as "all is good" so he must have typed it fast.

But... .I just checked and tried to reproduce it and I couldn't get those words, even jumbled together, to make my last name pop up and I - obviously - have it in my autocorrect too... .that seems really fishy. So, now he's trying to play head games?

I just don't think so... .I honestly think it was a mistake.

It was autocorrect on his phone, I'm assuming, not a computer. He's not a computer person, unless maybe he had been on the computer.

But, the other part of his comment was to another guy... .it was just the last reply in the same comment that he accidentally put my last name.

And, the more I think of it... .the only part it got wrong was all is because hope and good were spelled correctly... .how he got my last name out of those two words is impossible on autocorrect... .it just looks fishy. There's no way. I've tried it with my cellphone several times now.

Is playing mind games after the fact something common with them?  

My ex pretty much stab me in the back with delicate things, something she swore would never going to happend even in the events of a breakup... .it was pretty much the first thing she spilled !

I'm sorry, saintgrey! He promised he'd never just leave without saying he wasn't into anymore, not only did he do just that, he made me think that we were good right before he did it, being more open than ever! It's so hurtful and I understand where you're coming from. It seems they tell us anything and then completely turn on us when they deem us as worthy of being painted black.

[saintgrey]

My ex pretty much stab me in the back with delicate things, something she swore would never going to happend even in the events of a breakup... .it was pretty much the first thing she spilled !

I'm sorry, saintgrey! He promised he'd never just leave without saying he wasn't into anymore, not only did he do just that, he made me think that we were good right before he did it, being more open than ever! It's so hurtful and I understand where you're coming from. It seems they tell us anything and then completely turn on us when they deem us as worthy of being painted black.

Yeah same here, everything was going good from my point of view and just like that silent treatment, one thing i have discovered at least in my case is that she feels a lot of shame and takes every opportunity to tell people about the new love of her life.

I have access to everything due to my delicate situation, if we can take my ex as an example of how pwBPD work its very sad to see.

[SummerStorm]

Just like pwBPD think in terms of black/white, they also think in terms of always/never.  I can't tell you how many times my former friend said she "never" did something or was "never" going to do something.  Then, the next thing I knew, she was doing it. 

She had zero interest in Twitter.  Then, she randomly decided to make one and was all about following me.  She actually joked that she wanted to "stalk" me on social media (I don't do Facebook).  This was before she was diagnosed.  Two weeks later, she ended our friendship, stopped following me, and made her account private. 

In early May, she was convinced that she would never date again if her boyfriend broke up with her.  They broke up in early August, and she was back on Tinder the next day. 

The best example of this is when she said that she never does drugs.  A month later, she was smoking pot every day. 

The take away from all of this is that pwBPD truly feel that their always/never statements are true, but they are only true in that moment, just like all of their other feelings. 

[Tangy]

Yes. My Ex pwBPD and I do not eat meat. He never drinks and I rarely drink. When we lived together he wouldn't let me have any wine in the house, one time I asked and he said "if you want to have alcohol in the house it's a sign we don't need to be together." He told me he never would date someone who ate meat and my replacement does and also drinks. So I guess it was just me that had to live by the rules. (I was already vegetarian when I met him so I didn't do that for him, was referring the the drinking thing). But I suspect she will become vegetarian because he's pretty persuasive and I think she is pretty smitten by him. It's hard not to be in the beginning. He's quite the Romeo before his true colors come out.

[GreenEyedMonster]

It seems like pwBPD will put up with almost anything to get their supply.  They really can't afford to have boundaries or standards because that would limit who would be available to them.  Basically, if you pay attention to one of these people, they will get addicted to you.  Things that would be a deal-breaker for a normal person will not be a deal-breaker for them.  This might be true even after they have declared something a deal-breaker and broken up with you.  They have to eat their words to get their supply.

[shatra]

Miss South wrote---

Yes, my last name has a lot of the same letters as "all is good" so he must have typed it fast.

But... .I just checked and tried to reproduce it and I couldn't get those words, even jumbled together, to make my last name pop up and I - obviously - have it in my autocorrect too... .that seems really fishy. So, now he's trying to play head games

-----Even if he was on his phone, it sounds like Facebook not the phone service filled in the autocorrect with your last name. And you are not his facebook friend, so facebook would have only filled it in because he had been looking at your facebook profile.

-------Instead of just deleting the comment and writing a new one, he left the one posted that had your name on it  and then "corrected" it... .if he wanted noone to know it, he would have deleted it. So he left it there for all to see. Maybe an indirect contact to you?

[blissful_camper]

Yes, due to flexible and shifting values... .

[coldmist]

My exgf would only drink wine on occasion when I was with her and she said she hated beer. Now she drinks often including beer. I suspect she goes out regularly too which she never did when I was with her either. She was more of a homebody.

She also hardly ever used Facebook. I got discarded and barely 2 days later her Facebook became significantly more active and has been so ever since. She went from occasionally sharing recipes and DIY projects with a few of her relatives to posting vapid attention seeking selfies and now she's showing off the current replacement she just picked up.

[Infern0]

she always says she'll "never talk to me again"

does that count?

[enlighten me]

Over the past few days ive been thinking about this. I think of it as parasitic behaviour. They attach to someone and take on their hobbies and beliefs.

Both my exs will have a new fad depending on their partner or friends. This is all due to them trying to find their own self and having an unstable self image.

I also think of it as parasitic as neither of my exs have ever achieved anything on their own. Everything they have done is because someone did it and they were there. Places they visited were because someone took them. Things theyve done was because others initiated it. This i realised is the big difference. If i want to do something i go out and do it i dont rely on others to do it for me and tag along. For example if I wanted to go to a motorbike event I would learn to ride and get a bike. My exs would get taken on the back of a bike without even being able to ride it.

[Gonzalo]

Everyone picks up some likes and preferences from people that they're with, pwBPD just take it to an extreme level. When I mentioned that I was often sad around Valentine's day to my ex-, she made a big deal about how she felt it was a holiday that just makes people feel bad and had never liked it and wasn't into it. After we split, I saw that she did a big, elaborate Valentine's day thing for her new boyfriend, and wrote about how much she liked the holiday and how much fun she had preparing for it. (The odd thing is that I don't actually dislike Valentine's day and would have been happy to do something, she didn't actually ask me what I thought of it).

There was a TV show that I liked that she got into with me when we first got together. But by the last few months of the relationship, she couldn't stand to watch the show, even as a 'us together' thing. She blamed it on the newest season being different, but I now suspect she was starting to split me black and so didn't like the things I liked any more.

[Invictus01]

When I dated my girlie, I always thought of her as pretty conservative not overly wild girl. I mean, we liked to hit up bars and all that but we'd just get drunk and be happy. A few months after it was all over, I checked out her Facebook page (we aren't friends). Her profile picture changed. In the new profile picture (taken during the Halloween party last year), she is dressed as a slutty Super Woman, standing on top of a bar and yelling something... .Mind you, I am talking about a pretty career oriented individual who should know better than posting this kind of stuff as her profile pic on Facebook for the whole world to see. Anyway, even though we were in NC, I almost messaged her to tell her how dumb that was but decided that it wasn't my place to do.