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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Is this "flying monkeys"?  (Read 484 times)
Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« on: September 20, 2015, 12:25:31 PM »

Yesterday on my last and final anniversary I will have with my stbx, I posted a poem about "reminders" on Facebook. Realize, I never post anything negative on Facebook, but I was hurting and the one day I wanted some positive feedback from my friends I felt if I have to hear all the love bombing going on that the new gf posts on his wall, why can't I have one time I post my feelings? So I posted the poem. Next thing I know his Mother calls me and tells me all about a recent visit they had with him and how proud they were of his good behavior and that he had nothing but good things to say about me! That he said he treated me poorly and I didn't deserve it and he would always regret it. Apparently his mother who never believes a word he says, suddenly fell for it. She said she is choosing to be happy and only think of happy thoughts.They had been through enough bad for the past 5-10 years(she didn't seem clear on that).  She never mentioned that she saw what I posted. We had a somewhat good conversation, but it was somewhat awkward this time as well. I realize he is her blood and ultimately she will choose his side. She was always on mine before. I didn't take the post down and it makes me feel good that my friends who know the truth about him are being supportive. The poem basically says that he is now a reminder of what I don't want in a r/s and I am a very strong person having been in such a bad r/s. I didn't "tag" him in it, Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  He and I are blocked from each other. By the way, I told her he will repeat the pattern until he gets help. Well, guess what! That gf posted today that she was feeling queasy. Her friends are asking if she is pregnant! On Facebook to the public! Won't that be a trigger for him and the family considering both of them are not divorced and this is how he and I got married! He lied to me and said he was infertile! Who does that? Anyway, she's probably hung over since she is becoming an alcoholic to keep up with him or she's sick from the raw meat he serves when he grills food when he is drunk. But still, who knows. I do expect that to happen... .anyway, I am not taking my one post down to appease her, not with all of that going on... .at least mine is only the truth! But is this an example of a  flying monkey or did he have to be the one to ask her to call me. Not sure how that works... .she came to his rescue it seems or hers really. She doesn't want him to make her look bad!
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