A symbolic parting gift to make you hope for more

[repititionqueen]

Did your ex ever give you some type of symbolic parting gift during or after your break up? Something that would make you cling to the hope of a future down the road together?

My last two break ups both guys (uBPD) gave me parting gifts that I find highly manipulative... .

1. My ex who absolutely despised horoscopes and astrology cut out a newspaper clipping of his horoscope that day, (which did eerily echo his life and our break up) and he showed it to me after breaking up with me and told me he was going to keep it.

2. My other ex who was a "free spirited type" although he wore many different masks (well both of them did!) gave me an Indian beach blanket that he used all the time and would wear around his neck like a scarf. It was definitely one of the few items he could have given me that I would have seen as a hugely sentimental sacrifice and honour to be given.

Any thoughts on what these parting gifts mean?

Both of these guys used the same "maybe we'll be together down the road" type of ending with me, although the first one was far more convincing than the other.

I can't sleep and I just needed to get this out.

Thanks for listening!

[enlighten me]

Hi Repititionqueen

It is painful and confusing. We cannot know for certain what they are thinking.

The way I see it with my exs is that they know that we had something good but they realise that because of how they are it wouldn't work out. It doesn't mean that they don't want it to it just means that they are being realistic.

[Agent_of_Chaos]

Did your ex ever give you some type of symbolic parting gift during or after your break up? Something that would make you cling to the hope of a future down the road together?

My last two break ups both guys (uBPD) gave me parting gifts that I find highly manipulative... .

1. My ex who absolutely despised horoscopes and astrology cut out a newspaper clipping of his horoscope that day, (which did eerily echo his life and our break up) and he showed it to me after breaking up with me and told me he was going to keep it.

2. My other ex who was a "free spirited type" although he wore many different masks (well both of them did!) gave me an Indian beach blanket that he used all the time and would wear around his neck like a scarf. It was definitely one of the few items he could have given me that I would have seen as a hugely sentimental sacrifice and honour to be given.

Any thoughts on what these parting gifts mean?

Both of these guys used the same "maybe we'll be together down the road" type of ending with me, although the first one was far more convincing than the other.

I can't sleep and I just needed to get this out.

Thanks for listening!

She left me her cat.

She left me her bedroom set.

She left pictures hanging on the wall b/c she didn't want the place to look so bare.

She gave me hope.

Hope outweighed everything that was tangible.

[SGraham]

Im not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my ex didn't leave me with a thing. Nothing, just a lame b/u txt and then boom out of my life. I know in the long run it will be easier to heal when she doesnt string me out, but theres no denying that the suddenness in which someone could delete me from thier life hurts like hell.

[Agent_of_Chaos]

Im not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my ex didn't leave me with a thing. Nothing, just a lame b/u txt and then boom out of my life. I know in the long run it will be easier to heal when she doesnt string me out, but theres no denying that the suddenness in which someone could delete me from thier life hurts like hell.

Boom seems to be a common theme when someone with BPD departs from our loves.  They bolt to the next situation where they can feed their need for excitement and compassion.  Meanwhile we are left scratching our heads wondering what the hell just happened.  That pain shakes us to our core.

[hurting300]

Well, mine didn't say anything. She just vanished... she did leave a lot of personal things. And even made my lunch.

[Tangy]

Not sure id consider this a gift... .but I'm still on the cell phone bill... .I asked him the week we broke up to take me off of it... .so I could have my phone number (that I've had for 10 years) and get on my own plan. We've been NC for two months and he's still paying for my cell phone. And I'm pretty sure he's with my replacement... .he owes me some money so I guess maybe he's leaving me on it so that I'm taking off what he owes me for the cost of the cell phone each month... .but it's hard to believe someone that wanted me out of their life so bad... .didn't just borrow the money to give to me and get me off his cell phone... .it makes me wonder... .

[SGraham]

Im not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my ex didn't leave me with a thing. Nothing, just a lame b/u txt and then boom out of my life. I know in the long run it will be easier to heal when she doesnt string me out, but theres no denying that the suddenness in which someone could delete me from thier life hurts like hell.

Boom seems to be a common theme when someone with BPD departs from our loves.  They bolt to the next situation where they can feed their need for excitement and compassion.  Meanwhile we are left scratching our heads wondering what the hell just happened.  That pain shakes us to our core.

Yeah that is pretty much exactly how i would word it. It's almost like emotional whip lash

[hurting300]

It's amazing how they can just flip a switch and be done.

[whitebackatcha]

Not sure id consider this a gift... .but I'm still on the cell phone bill... .I asked him the week we broke up to take me off of it... .so I could have my phone number (that I've had for 10 years) and get on my own plan. We've been NC for two months and he's still paying for my cell phone. And I'm pretty sure he's with my replacement... .he owes me some money so I guess maybe he's leaving me on it so that I'm taking off what he owes me for the cost of the cell phone each month... .but it's hard to believe someone that wanted me out of their life so bad... .didn't just borrow the money to give to me and get me off his cell phone... .it makes me wonder... .

I have something somewhat similar, but not as significant, I'm sure. My ex unfriended me from every site we were on together, but right in the middle, she was clearly on one site and saw we were still friends, but didn't delete me. She deleted me on other sites the week before and the week after. It's my one, tiny bit of evidence that she wants me in her life in some way. I've tried so hard to brace myself for the day when she is finally ready to delete me there, too. I will be crushed, I don't think I will be able to prevent it. Still being in love with her, I hope she will use it to initiate contact again someday, but... .it's really just not likely. But it's all I have left.