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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: The GF may be pregnant  (Read 359 times)
Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« on: October 18, 2015, 06:36:00 PM »

My husbands GF has been posting somethings on FB that leads me to think she is pregnant. Just 2 hours ago she posted something about babies born in the summer months are healthier- an article. I am convinced she is pregnant either by her trying to trap him and/or their plain stupidity! She doesn't even know him- they are both not divorced! They can't afford it! Is it me or is this just wrong all the way around! I don't see how he is going to handle this mentally. He tricked me into getting pregnant by lying to me that he was sterile. I really didn't want kids- he didn't either. His Mother told me that he didn't want to pass on what was wrong with him to anyone! We lost the baby after a couple months... .I decided to get "fixed" so I would't risk it again. Sometimes he would ask if I was sad we lost the baby. Made me think maybe he was. Yet he is so selfish, he wouldn't want to spend money on a baby over himself.  I begged him to get a vasectomy and he did not. This GF has been talking about wanting kids from the get go. Not sure why it didn't happen with her husband. How is he going to handle this emotionally I wonder. His Sister just had a baby and maybe he thinks he will get good attention from his family if he has one! I know his parents would be mortified! He is an alcoholic, drug addict, pathological liar and serial cheater! What a horrible situation. I know I should be so grateful to be out of it, but I find myself crying and don't understand why! I wonder if he is thinking she could lose the baby, like we did? It is not my problem and I warned him about this. I also told his parents he would repeat the pattern- well, here it is again! What is he going to do with a baby... .I guess he will continue to cheat. She will be crying more than me one day. It's just awfully sad all the way around. I also don't think I should ask anyone on his side... .I feel I must remain no-contact. This is so hard. Just when I thought I was doing better... .Bam! Hit me in the heart again!
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saintgrey
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 73


« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2015, 12:51:11 AM »

Blue don't do this to yourself, your pretty much self harming by looking at her FB because you know it would hurt you.

I know its easier said than done because in my position i could pretty much know everything about the new r/s but i quickly learned its nothing but pain at that point, we might feel detached today but tomorrow the feelings comeback... .
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10396



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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2015, 09:06:29 AM »

Blue don't do this to yourself, your pretty much self harming by looking at her FB because you know it would hurt you.

I know its easier said than done because in my position i could pretty much know everything about the new r/s but i quickly learned its nothing but pain at that point, we might feel detached today but tomorrow the feelings comeback... .

Hi Herodias,

I understand. I'm guilty of psycho-analyzing my ex in the early stages of the break-up and I agree with saintgrey. It's easier said that done, but when we get caught up in our exes' relationships it impedes our healing, it really helps when we move our focus off of the new relationship and we focus on ourselves.
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