Contact Follow up post.

[toddinrochester]

So I had contact with my ex with BPD. She admitted all the symptoms and I tried to get her help. I texted her today with a way that she could physically touch gray by having three cups of water. One hot and one room temp and one cold. I told her that she could ground herself in physically feeling gray. So she knows that it exists. She said that this conversation was making her anxious and that she didn't want to meet for coffee tomorrow (I kind of knew she would no show). I was sad that she wants to live with this and that she is okay with always being in constant strife and turmoil. But I don't feel sad about her not being in my life if that makes any sense. I am not upset with it and I thought I would be. I think that I got to see how really sick this person is and that she truly processes emotion at a child like level. Its a crazy condition and even though it was painful for me at the breakup I simply can't fathom having to carry that much pain and I am really glad that I can see the middle road of things.