Do pwBPD typically ruin vacations and events?

[Depression = 72% of members]

My stbxw consistently started arguments at the outset of our traditional summer trip.  We'd go to the same place each year - a place she's been visiting her entire life - and she would consistently start an argument at the same place each year - at the highway exit.

For a time, I thought it was about anxiety - there are 3 different ways to the destination, and she is horrible with navigation, even though she's been going to this place for almost 50 years. The preferred route changes depending on road conditions / repairs / detours, but we always know in advance which way to go, so the anxiety explanation doesn't entirely fit.

The arguments could be about anything.  Her father doesn't care about her (because he recently did something for her sister).  I favor our middle kid (because I recently disciplined one of our other kids).  Her boss is a misogynist (most of the senior management team is female).  Always something demonstrably false. 

Last summer I decided to try to preempt the pattern.  I discussed the route in advance, and suggested that we make an effort to avoid conflict en route.  "What are you talking about?"  So I threw caution to the wind and summarized the topics of discussion from the prior 4 years.  She denied any of it ever happened, but we actually had a conflict-free outbound trip that year.

[EyesUp]

My stbxw consistently started arguments at the outset of our traditional summer trip.  We'd go to the same place each year - a place she's been visiting her entire life - and she would consistently start an argument at the same place each year - at the highway exit.

For a time, I thought it was about anxiety - there are 3 different ways to the destination, and she is horrible with navigation, even though she's been going to this place for almost 50 years. The preferred route changes depending on road conditions / repairs / detours, but we always know in advance which way to go, so the anxiety explanation doesn't entirely fit.

The arguments could be about anything.  Her father doesn't care about her (because he recently did something for her sister).  I favor our middle kid (because I recently disciplined one of our other kids).  Her boss is a misogynist (most of the senior management team is female).  Always something demonstrably false. 

Last summer I decided to try to preempt the pattern.  I discussed the route in advance, and suggested that we make an effort to avoid conflict en route.  "What are you talking about?"  So I threw caution to the wind and summarized the topics of discussion from the prior 4 years.  She denied any of it ever happened, but we actually had a conflict-free outbound trip that year.

[IntoTheWind]

Mine would ruin vacations by literally cancelling the entire booking.