Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 11, 2025, 11:17:00 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
side effects of their projections
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: side effects of their projections (Read 515 times)
Didntdeservethat
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 37
side effects of their projections
«
on:
November 10, 2015, 08:14:23 PM »
Seperated from my expwBPD for 12 weeks 5 weeks nc broken by the odd drunken abusive texts how could havd ruined her life etc non responded instantly deleted. For me im in the window wereby im focused on letting go of a situation i may never understand but something i could use help with is their subliminal programing and projecting of their own insecurities. Prior to the relationship i was a confident wealthy secure human being optimistic about the future. She over three years slowly chipped away at my morality my ethics and my confidence that i question everything about myself this is over and above the usual what could i have done better. Ive been reading crisis books, codependency books but cannot see any of these traits in pre relationship life. At the end i was insucure who wouldnt be with a woman who needed attention 24hrs a day, i also was codependent, i think addicted to the drama. But if im honest a lot of us might be better helped looking PTSD as i feel this may be the first place of healing.
Any feedback...
Logged
fromheeltoheal
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642
Re: side effects of their projections
«
Reply #1 on:
November 10, 2015, 08:41:32 PM »
I was diagnosed with PTSD after I left my ex, and also learned that trauma and stress are normal, healthy responses to abuse. And an important thing to realize is that although I was diagnosed with PTSD, it was not a 'thing' that I had, it was a conditioned response to abuse that can be unconditioned, or more accurately, replaced with other, new or old, conditioning, or both. If you need professional help get it, and the best things you can do right now are take very good care of yourself, physically, emotionally and mentally, and start to shift the focus from the past to the future, a bright future of your design, one worth living. When you do that you'll start to see some of your old traits, the ones you liked before you met her, emerge, and we always value something we lose and then get back more than we did before we lost it. Life is a gift I'm grateful for today, I have much more appreciation for things, the world seems brighter, all things available to all of us by putting one foot in front of the other in the direction of our dreams. What does that look like for you Didnt?
Logged
Didntdeservethat
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 37
Re: side effects of their projections
«
Reply #2 on:
November 10, 2015, 09:27:37 PM »
Thank you for that response, so happy for you and you progress, unfortunately I'm still processing but everyday i feel a little lighter.
Logged
Mutt
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10403
Re: side effects of their projections
«
Reply #3 on:
November 10, 2015, 10:18:23 PM »
Hi Didntdeservethat,
I share similar feelings with fromheeltoheal. I became conditioned with the emotional instability and I felt craving and withdrawals similar to an addiction as you say. It felt like I could feel PTSD after the relationship was over and not while I was in it and I thought wow, I can't believe that I was going through day in and day out. I wonder how it feels like for people that have had very long term relationships, thankfully I only had to go through it for a few years.
Quote from: Didntdeservethat on November 10, 2015, 08:14:23 PM
For me im in the window wereby im focused on letting go of a situation i may never understand but something i could use help with is their
subliminal programing and projecting of their own insecurities.
Prior to the relationship i was a confident wealthy secure human being optimistic about the future.
I felt very different before and early in the relationship and I was having thoughts years later in the relationships that I felt very different, i felt like I was losing a part of my identity, I felt confusion and I was starting to feel like I didn't know who I was anymore. I had these thoughts often after my ex would have borderline rages and I was confused with what triggered the anger and why she was so angry at me for things I had no idea she was talking about. The best way that I can describe what I felt is I felt like a former shadow of the man that I was.
Logged
"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
fromheeltoheal
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642
Re: side effects of their projections
«
Reply #4 on:
November 11, 2015, 11:13:52 AM »
Quote from: Didntdeservethat on November 10, 2015, 09:27:37 PM
Thank you for that response, so happy for you and you progress, unfortunately I'm still processing but everyday i feel a little lighter.
Lighter is good! So as I mentioned, if you were to start focusing on the future instead of the past, what would that look like for you? Formulating your bright future and sharing it with us are good steps and will have an effect, just going through the process.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
side effects of their projections
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...