Last Chapter of my BPD experience.

[problemsolver]

So this is the last chapter , I went to court for a PO... tons of lies. She sprinkled in some truths of course but anyways. I get to court keep in mind I'm not from the states and this court hearing took place in what some would call a " honky tonk " town. In any case I we walk in and the first thing the judge says is " Well based upon the 'letter of the law' you're guilty ( may be paraphrasing that a bit)" long story short without hearing and proof or seeing any evidence he literally believed everything she wrote down. My lawyer looked at this guy stunned, the judge says " I don't know why you have a smirk on your face that won't help you lawyers case" ... .I was just like wow  

My lawyer says where is the court report? ( person who writes everything down , so what you say is on record) response " oh we don't have one in on this day" ... .so they go back and fourth picking out dates because my lawyer is now taking this as an insult that the judge has come at him this way. We get to a date like late January ... In my head I'm saying to myself this is soo petty I just want this over with... We don't talk ( she has made herself believe that I will do anything to get her back and this and that *according to what she's written in her PR my life is essentially lived for her as if she's a god of sorts* )

In any case after going back and fourth the judge realizes that this case is petty he even said "it doesn't look like y'all gel ( Oh you don't say  she's put me through some all this BS you think were gonna be bestfriends?) he says "lets just solve this now"... He suggests a TEMP PO for 4 months meaning 0 contact , if there is no problems by April then the case is dismissed... I accepted this.

I can't help but feel hard done by the whole experience especially because I felt like seeing her on the stand admitting that "this never happened and that never happened" essentially EXPOSING her to the world would actual give me great delight * I threw her against a wall* (FASLE) *I was waiting in her town for her* (FALSE) * I was waiting in her room for her and she would come home and be startled by me (FALSE!)*... Just some really outlandish sh** no offence to people who have done anything I have mentioned above but that sh** is not me ( as petty and as bad as revenge may be I really just  wanted to expose those silly lies)... But I was up against it from the beginning so I accept my fate.

I am happy to move forward without this person in my life. At the end of the day yes she does have BPD and it won't get better ... I know I'm not the last young man that will be caught up in something like this with her ... I probably wasn't the first , but the others didn't quite make it to this level ( court )

In any case that's my story... what goes around comes around , I believe in karma... So she will get hers when the time is right I suppose. all I can do now is move forward put her in the past *PERMANTLY* and live my life and focus on my life goals.

Cheers.

[cloudten]

I had the exact same reaction to my restraining order. I had all sorts of regrets afterward so I know where you are coming from... .and feel you completely.

I know you wanted to expose the lies... .i, too, wish we had testified and that the judge would have made a judgement on the abuse. I felt like BPDx got off easy, and after all I had suffered, deep down I wanted him to be exposed and suffer too.

My biggest regret is that my "permanent" order is only 18 months.

I think you got a good deal though being an innocent defendant. 4 months... .okay. You can stay away from her 4 months... .you already were staying away from her for several months. You sound completely committed to the breakup and the NC, So- you can do 4 months- and then its completely dismissed and over. There was no judgement of abuse against you- and THAT is golden.

Is she allowed to contact you?  Document it if she does.

I am glad for you that it is seemingly over.  I don't really feel like mine is over- but I hope for you it is over. You will need to keep your nose completely clean- which doesn't sound like a problem.

Cheers!

[Mutt]

Hi problemsolver,

I think you got a good deal though being an innocent defendant. 4 months... .okay. You can stay away from her 4 months... .

It sounds like you had a good L. I can relate with how scary that can feel when you're in a court that is outside of your regular circuit and it's in a circuit with the "good 'ol boys" I think that the silver lining is that the following 4 months will give you your space to heal. A PO goes both ways, she can't contact you either, I suggest contact your L if she does for advice.