The fog is lifting

[Itstopsnow]

I can say after 40 days of no contact o started to feel better. This guy is sick. We have to remember these people without proper help won't get better but likely worse. So many of us on this site seem to have very similar stories! Almost to the T! Some aren't as bad and some are worse . So I think it's important to put things into clear perspective. We don't need to live that way anymore! I feel so much freer! I save a lot more money, I don't deal with outbursts, rages, tantrums, I don't have to conform to do whatever he wants to do. And I'm not being used and cheated on. I know now that when we would take a couple days break or a week off. I'm sure he was dating others. Really when you think about your ex. You didn't really know them for who they truly were. They showed you what they wanted, and as the mask slipped you saw more of their defects . And if you're lucky like me you get to catch them in the whole lie. Although he ran away and never faced me! Had his mom call instead. I'm not sad anymore. It was a fraud, he was a counterfeit. He knows right from wrong. He used every person in his life so he didn't have to feel the pain. Never mind what he puts them through. I hope for each one of you still struggling with missing them. I hope you see it for what it was. They are mentally ill, can't love or receive love. And news flash! They don't want to! They enjoy their life crazy! They get a rush off sneaking around! They feel a sense of power! They love the chase and the high they get being admired during that phase. The love we give is a committed deep love of mutual trust and respect . They never gave that and never could. Please know their are much healthier people who could and would. Practice NC and you'll get there! There is no good that will ever come by going back to them!

[itgirl]

Thank you for this post.  I needed to hear this today. I do not miss my ex or want her back. I just want her out of my head!   She is engaged to my replacement after two months.  And I struggle with the thought that I'm healing and she is happy as can be. 

One day at a time. I'm going on a three week holiday tonight so hopefully that will help.

[Itstopsnow]

You'll get there! Remember anything she has won't be long term even if she's engaged or married. Her thoughts will still be disregulated and the mental illness will still impede her life. You saw what happened when you with with her . None of that will change! Remember they have arrested development . Very emotionally immature. That won't magically fix itself. You're in a better place than her! Believe me!

[NCEA]

Thank you ! Yes, NCEA

[Mutt]

40 days. Nice going!

[JaneStorm]

Thank you for this.