well I think emptiness is a word... .its strange but no matter how nasty he became, I didn't believe him, the horrible things he said to me, I just didn't believe ... .I am a nice and good person and still think that... .I suppose loving him was always going to end this way, I just stupidly believed we would be OK ... .foolish I know, and not real, but have now gone the no contact route, blocking everything as I need some peace in my own head !
Good for you bomcg, it's very good that you didn't believe him, kept your own sense of what is right and what you know; some folks don't do that and go down that rabbit hole of dysfunction and insanity, think how awful that would be.
And I'm sorry things went the way they did, very painful, but don't call yourself foolish, most of us hadn't been exposed to mental illness before, either that or we were raised in it and it felt familiar, so cut yourself some slack, time to be very good to yourself as you detach and heal. Stick around and share, there are lots of folks here who know exactly what you're going through. Take care of you!
