Did you sense how it was all going to end?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Nope. Wasn't expecting it at all, but looking back on the last couple of months the signs were there, mostly that she was lining up another guy. The last time she came up by me (we live 2 hours apart) we had a really great 3-4 days. We were talking, laughing, grabbed a nice dinner together. She even bought me a gift in that time. The last night she very sweetly asked me to tuck her in (like a child), and as usual I gave her a nice kiss goodnight. We grabbed lunch the next day before she went home. All that week we talked, never argued (surprising). That weekend was Halloween, and she even sent me photos of her in her costume before going to work (she's a waitress). After that night I stopped hearing from her, claiming she was sick, and the following Saturday she broke it off by phone. I called her out on the previous week, and she said "I wasn't happy." Nonsense. Totally unexpected.

[burritoman]

Nope. Wasn't expecting it at all, but looking back on the last couple of months the signs were there, mostly that she was lining up another guy. The last time she came up by me (we live 2 hours apart) we had a really great 3-4 days. We were talking, laughing, grabbed a nice dinner together. She even bought me a gift in that time. The last night she very sweetly asked me to tuck her in (like a child), and as usual I gave her a nice kiss goodnight. We grabbed lunch the next day before she went home. All that week we talked, never argued (surprising). That weekend was Halloween, and she even sent me photos of her in her costume before going to work (she's a waitress). After that night I stopped hearing from her, claiming she was sick, and the following Saturday she broke it off by phone. I called her out on the previous week, and she said "I wasn't happy." Nonsense. Totally unexpected.

[UserName69]

I knew it was going to happen, we had a fight at the second date and later we had them almost every week. It didn't took too long before I figured out that something was wrong with her instead of confessing it she blamed everything on me. When I found out about BPD I became very happy because I knew it wasn't me but her.

Thinking back on how the RS went, with an unstable person like my exBPDgf it is just impossible to start a serious relation with.

[Crazytoo]

I felt so strange in the end, like in a different reality. I should have been so happy because everything was so perfect, we were a dream team.

We had one very intimate moment of emotional closeness, that i haven't experienced before with anybody else and since then it was strange. I started telling myself "I can't believe this, this isn't real, oh I hope i'm not destroying eveything. Don't break it, don't break it, don't break it"

And then it broke.

[Pretty Woman]

Was I surprised HOW it ended? No, not really. She had left me several times for others during our relationship…there were just “obstacles” that led to her not being able to STAY with the people she left me for. The first was an ex…three states away. The 2nd was a woman who wasn’t interested in a relationship with her. She wanted to fool around, “experiment” if you will, but wanted to continue dating men.

The person she finally left me for lives a mile from us and had just been dumped by a woman twenty years older than her. Very co-d and even told us that. This was an IDEAL target for my ex. She wants someone to cling to her that is easy to manipulate and control.

I lost over 100lbs this year (surgery) and as I lost my confidence grew. She was very insecure I would leave her and to be honest, after three years of her leaving and putting me through hell I was looking at that quite seriously. My ego is what is getting me here. I lost. But what did I lose? I wasn’t happy and she treated me horribly. There was no possibility of a future. She can’t afford ANYTHING. She is massively in debt and we don’t even have the same interests.

More removed from the situation I see this now. It’s still hard to accept sometimes but I see it clearly and see my own hang ups as well which I am actively working on fixing.


PW