BPD-ish boss, special treatment

[naguma]

(hope this forum works for the question)

My current boss is giving me special treatment. Yesterday I was late to work, hang over from the night before (still reeling from my exBPD). A few days earlier she had written up another employee for the same thing. She instead gave me a "free pass". This is not the first time special treatment has happened - extra hours, preferred jobs, she makes sure to secure any time off(above and beyond normal), etc. One of the more meaningful things is, she is currently living with her boyfriend whom she complains about constantly. She knows I am trying to find another place and offered me a room at her house to offset what he contributes. Assuming that means she is lining me up to be the replacement. She has also made some rather overt statements, that border on harassment (which would actually be ok if it wasn't for the special treatment).

How does one go off the radar? As of now there isn't much resentment from my co-workers, though there is no doubt going to be some in the future if something doesn't change.

Is this one of those situations that just needs to be exited asap?

Thanks in advance.

[lbjnltx]

This is a somewhat unique situation being that you are not interested in a romantic relationship and she is... .complicated by the special treatment and her being your boss.

Are you thinking the only way to stop the special treatment and advances is to leave your job?

There are steps to take that can slowly, peaceably, put emotional distance between you and she. 

lbj

[naguma]

Previously missed the post about steps.

What steps? please for the love of god enlighten me!

As of right now, been thinking of finding another job. Got a promotion that made my co-workers angry. Things are going quickly from bad to worse.

[lbjnltx]

Hi again naguma,

This promotion does sound like trouble for you as it could be a sign that your bosses' efforts to groom you to be her next significant other (SO) are escalating.

Can you visit this article? FOG: Fear, Obligation, and Guilt

Though there may not be much guilt involved for you, the F and O do come into play in your situation.

Let's talk about the article and how it applies.

lbj