Need encouragement

[RR4U]

Nothing like being away and getting a unknown phone call that your husband is sleeping with someone. I feel beat up and lost.  As I sit on a plane heading home I don't know where to even start.  Lucky for wifi on plane I can post on here. Now he wants marriage therapy. I just don't know anything anymore. I don't want to go home.  I don't want the crying and begging. I need to be strong and why I decided to post on this part of the page. Lucky I have therapy tomorrow but I really just want to hide. How many more chances I can give.  I deserve so much more then I'm getting. 

[Itstopsnow]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I hate to say this but save yourself! Not your marriage! If he has BPD chances are he won't change . Get out while you can. Don't waste more precious years on a mentally disordered man that isn't strong enough to try to get better! Who loves himself and his selfish lust desires, fears, what have you... .Over you! You do deserve so much better!

[iluminati]

The first step is to just breathe.  Feel out those feelings.  Let it go, wash over you and flow off.  I wouldn't expect to do too much.  Besides, it wasn't like you could have stopped him.

Now, knowing that, you need to figure out what you want next.  You can't just immediately cut and run.  You two are still legally married.  Plot out your next steps.  Figure out your priorities.

[RR4U]

Thank you for both your posts.  Just got home. He's being quiet and leaving me alone.  I want to go back on plane