I think my ex is stalking me on FB

[JerryRG]

Strangest thing happend last night.

I commented on a friend's post a few times joking around.

This stranger post a comment without mentioning either my friend or myself and is upset that whoever doesn't post on her fb and that she needed to unfriend someone.

My friend seemed puzzled and commented that she liked my post.

So I asked my friend if she knew this person who was complaining about us, my friend did not know who it was.

I said wowosh my ex is stalking me again, followed by (her name) leave me alone

Next time I go back on fb. The complainer is gone and so are my comments about my ex stalking me.

Very strange, I changed my password immediately.

I'm getting extremely paranoid and have been for years with stuff like this from my BPDexgf.

I need to go to work in the morning and have chemo tomorrow afternoon, don't need this crap to keep me up all night.

[JerryRG]

The strangest thing is my posts were deleted along with this strangers post. My ex was always talking about hacking stuff, she accused me of breaking into her internet and after defending myself 489 times it finally dawned on me to ask her what the heck she was hiding that was so important that I would risk getting into legal trouble over? Military secrets, millions of dollars, what is she protecting? Insanity

[GreenEyedMonster]

This is not that surprising.  My ex has been "stalking" me on social media on average about twice a day since the breakup, which happened eight months ago.  Of course, he has a heavy touch of paranoia, so he probably perceives himself to be stalked, and thus is justified in figuring out where I am all the time.  Since he accused me of stalking him to our mutual friends, they have figured out he was crazy, and he has declared that he'll never come back to a party as long as I'm in their group.  That means never, because they aren't kicking me out.

His latest behavior is that he goes on to the social media shared by our mutual friends and VERY emphatically talks about how great all his new friends are.  He doesn't outright compare but that's implicit.  It's funny because I know full well that the gatherings he attends have different people at them every week, and many of them are close to 20 years younger than he is.  He lost his entire core group of friends when he decided that getting away from me was more important.  I am pretty sure his social media outbursts are his own anger and frustration that he no longer has any control over the situation and his accusations weren't believed.  He wants someone to chase him and pity him, but he's going to be waiting a loong time.

[JerryRG]

Thank you greeneyed

I got that sick feeling again, whirlwind of fear, trying to understand the mystery and nothing ever adds up. I blocked her just a couple of days ago, now this. She's got a sneaky little nephew that thrives on this stuff, little brat was trying to gain access to her tablet one night and I told him he better stop, lying s**t told her I was the one trying to get past her lock. Her whole family is a bunch of childish liers.

Your ex sounds like um never mind , they are all cut from the same cloth.

[jessedsickabouther]

I got private views on LinkedIn yesterday which has never happened to me before ever in 10 years. Since resolving all legal matters a few weeks ago she would have no reason to contact me anymore. I guess the funny thing for me is that she hasn't gone more than a couple weeks since we broke up without some form of indirect contact. And she seems to actively enjoy only talking about all the financial matters. But she will not speak about anything else so I left her alone. Honestly she can't go more than 2 weeks without doing something and I think she's scared now because I haven't been trying to contact her. You know what after 4 months and knowing all about her illness I kind of like it I kind of like just knowing that in some way I have a connection with her. Maybe that sounds crazy probably it does but it wasn't going to work out butt I think she tried the best that she could honestly and since I know she's not doing well after 4 months of being apart I'm really not that upset about anything anymore and I would probably help her out if she needed anything even if she is dating someone else. My point is I just try not to let it bother me anymore it really is all about them so she's going to keep doing something... your ex i mean.  As long as she isn't hurting anybody you might as well just get used to it I've got a BPD ex from 1993 that still sent me a Facebook message this morning wishing me a happy Easter and she's never ever going to go away so I've just embraced it

[JerryRG]

Lol jessed, I have a life long spooky groopy, oh well yeah I don't mind and it does confirm what's been said in these forums. She went 4 months just having fun to wham! running after Wreakem Ralph, our son has trashed my apartment everyday last winter in record time and I can bet she's pulling her hair out by now. I may suddenly have some importance to her. Maybe her new bf isn't so agreeable to playing daddy , whatever.

Just when I think I'm safe

[JerryRG]

My friend I was conversing with told me she deleted my posts, she said trolls just go on fb to get a rise out of people. I really am overreacting and now I realize how shell shocked I really am. I jumped to the conclusion it was my exBPDgf. Didn't think some random stranger would spend time just to annoy people.

Oh well, missed a lot of sleep and few heart beats on this? I'm screwed .

[C.Stein]

Oh well, missed a lot of sleep and few heart beats on this? I'm screwed .

Remove yourself from the FB drama ... .be free ... .sleep better.

[JerryRG]

Very good advice C.Stein

I'm thinking if I get this shook up over fb I'm not going to do well if or when the real s**t hits the fan. If my son were not involved I could walk away much easier,... .

[jessedsickabouther]

They live in a world where attention is currency. Nobody matters. We get caught up thinking that somebody else replace this or that they're so happy but they don't love anybody at all. So they just keep a bunch of people in their head that they can get attention from and it really is still such a mind Funk . Finally after 4 months I've just been going out and talking to other girls and spending time with them and you really start to see how loopy this whole situation is. My Twitter account was broken into on Saturday or Sunday I have no idea if it was her but she does have a government clearance in IT

It's like having an annoying little sister I mean we stop dating the end of November early December and I'm telling you right now there has been something odd in my life every two weeks I've not seen it yet past two weeks before something strange happens so you're talking about like 8 things are ready but she won't talk to me about us I mean I could probably show up to her work and give her some s*** and I could probably make her fall in love with me again but it's just not worth it the whole situation is freaking nuts

[JerryRG]

Thanks and that is true, jessed.

She cannot love anyone, especially herself. I've talked to so many people and not one of them since or r/s began to this very day has said to stay and take the hits from my exBPDgf. Just spoke Monday to my doc who actually knows my ex and treated her for a while. My doc said no one will ever understand why my ex makes the choices she does.

My sister put it best, she told me, Jerry you will never have a moments peace as long as she is in your life. My sister was right, my sister told me my ex was crazy as hell. My daughters all told me the same thing, her mother, her sisters, brothers, my docs, councelors, local police, friends, pastors, nurses, EVERY SINGLE SOUL said to RUN, and yet I didn't want to let go.

Truly facinating that I would spend this much energy on her while not putting that same energy into myself and my recovery. Sometimes fantacy is more powerful than reality.

I need less expensive entertainment

[steelwork]

My ex has military-type discipline when he decides on it. Thanks, probably, to ex-marine stepfather/tormentor. Swings between total lack of impulse control and rigid abstemiousness. (Ten years as a junkie, now totally clean for 15 years. Pattern is prevalent.) He said he stopped looking at our blog the day he dumped me, and I believe it. To me that's more chilling than checking out my (non-informative) linkedin profile would be.

In fact, I looked at HIS linkedin profile a month or two ago. Didn't realize he could see that and am now mortified. No more peeking.

So, real question: I know it's not good for me to look, but does it make me a creepy cyberstalker?

Be honest. I can take it.

[JerryRG]

Hmm I have done it with my ex, I share custody of a son so my excuse is I'm doing it for him. Lol

I guess my choice is NC, I've been told that's not realistic that we have a son. Boy do I want to run like all the other guys in her life have.

So the collective wisdom here is snooping will only hurt us? Someone said if we break NC we buy 6 months more misery. I'm inclined to belive it will only hurt us. I do know everytime I hear a siren I wonder if she's pulled the trigger (she's too coward to do anything perminnent)

Save yourself! Lol. Have a great day steelwork

[steelwork]

My question is: does it make me some kind of stalking creep?

I didn't think so, but I see how upset people get knowing their fb/linkedin/other has been viewed.

[wanttoknowmore]

Looking at some one's face book pics etc. is legal in the U.S.   She does have right to see FB of anyone she chooses to see.  Its her time she is wasting but its her choice how she spends her time.

For us, IGNORING her checking your FB ... .seems a  good idea.  If it helps your ex to look your pics on FB, just be kind and let her have that comfort. Its not costing you anything.