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Author Topic: Text from my exBPDgf after 4 months of NC--Huh?  (Read 747 times)
Learning Fast
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 248


« on: May 10, 2016, 08:28:42 AM »

All,

As many others have posted, "just when you think that you are out you get sucked back in... ." (Michael Corleone, Godfather III for you Godfather fans).

Brief recap---about a two year relationship, she disappears after about a year, reappears, we recycle several times, were last intimate about a year ago, last saw each other about 6 mos ago, last heard from her about 4 mos ago.

Last night I'm working on a deadline project while texting back and forth with a female friend of mine (may or may not develop into more than that but I'm not ready now). In the midst of all of this my ex sends this text:

"R knows" (R happens to be the guy I replaced).

Huh?  What the heck?  Who cares?  This was so completely out of nowhere and, honestly, I was so engaged in the project and my other texting that it really didn't even fully register.  I respond "Knows what?" and of course, not surprisingly, never hear back.  I continued to plow through the project work, picked up with my friend where we left off and that was that.

The reason for the post is to get some feedback from others about their own experiences while confirming what many of us have already know:

---pwBPD are consistently inconsistent

---they seem to reappear just when you're turning the emotional corner

---the subject matter of the contact is as confusing as the disorder itself

---there is no sense in trying to make sense of it all

Thanks for listening as I felt the need to post since many of you fully understand this type of dynamic and now I'm a member of your club!

LF

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Hadlee
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« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2016, 09:03:46 AM »

The reason for the post is to get some feedback from others about their own experiences while confirming what many of us have already know:

---pwBPD are consistently inconsistent

---they seem to reappear just when you're turning the emotional corner

---the subject matter of the contact is as confusing as the disorder itself

---there is no sense in trying to make sense of it all

That pretty much sums it up and has been my experience.  Sounds like yours was putting the feelers out.

I received a message 'out of the blue' after four months of nothing.  The message was to say that they had a dream about me then asked how I was

It was at a time I was maintaining LC as I needed to, so any interaction I had with them came from me.  The BPD had not initiated any contact for four months till that message came through.

I am strictly NC now.  Hopefully FOREVER Smiling (click to insert in post)

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Frank88
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« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2016, 09:18:20 AM »

They always seem to find a way to keep a hook in you.  A psychologist friend of mine heard I was in the same town as my ex for a few days and asked me if she had tried to contact me and put a "hook" in me.  I said yes.  My friend only knew bits and pieces of the relationship from what he saw and heard from others, but labled her very quickly.  When a professional on the outside sees things that you didn't, but now do, it is validating, but also a little upsetting.  Reminding you that they all follow a script.  Hopefully this is the last of the contact for you.
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Learning Fast
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« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2016, 12:32:48 PM »

Thanks for the responses!

Yep---they always seem to keep you tethered some how in some way.  Plus it seems like this particular "reach out" was sent to elicit an emotional reaction in order to keep me bewildered.  Oh well---hope this is the end.

LF
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WoundedBibi
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« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2016, 01:22:30 PM »

"R knows". It would be a wonderful way to start a whodunnit...

I also can't help thinking R might be a very knowledgeable man. Which requires a certain level of intelligence. If he's also tall, dark, handsome and BPD free I might be interested.

(You have to keep your sense of humour)
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Ashwin
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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2016, 01:37:07 PM »

Guys please go thru my posts and give me ur opinion as to whether she will contact me or not tq https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=292752.new#new
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Hadlee
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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2016, 01:58:19 PM »

Ashwin - I see on your post that you have already received some great feedback.  It is impossible to say for sure whether your ex will contact you.  Some do and some don't.  Simple as that.
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Learning Fast
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« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2016, 06:07:14 PM »

Wounded,

Haha---too funny.  Indeed R is tall, handsome and financially secure (and I would hope BPD free although his encounter with my ex has probably made him feel as though he is the one with BPD). 

Could be setup potential (no finder's fee, of course Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)).

LF
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