Love letter from Narcissist

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Although it says from Narcissist, I think I can substitute Borderline, because that's how she appears to me now. This has been making the rounds on some forums, just thought I'd share.


"When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my stories to, to express my opinions, and to share my profound theories and beliefs about the important things in life. I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you, and how enthralled with me I imagine you are.

When I say I’m in love with you, I love having someone beautiful to wear, like a new outfit. I love the way you feel on me. I love the way I feel about me when you are with me.

When I say I’m in love with you, I love not being alone. I love not being that tree falling in the forest. I love having a full-time, personal audience.

When I say I’m in love with you I mean I love being your mystery, your riddle, being what keeps you up at night, your obsession. I love being your altar, your sacrament, your icon, your miracle. I love being your answer. I love being the object of your sacrifice. I love being your pain.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. Keeping you mine.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with breathing your air, sucking your blood, eating your dreams. I’m in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared... ."

[sadmike1]

Although it says from Narcissist, I think I can substitute Borderline, because that's how she appears to me now. This has been making the rounds on some forums, just thought I'd share.


"When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my stories to, to express my opinions, and to share my profound theories and beliefs about the important things in life. I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you, and how enthralled with me I imagine you are.

When I say I’m in love with you, I love having someone beautiful to wear, like a new outfit. I love the way you feel on me. I love the way I feel about me when you are with me.

When I say I’m in love with you, I love not being alone. I love not being that tree falling in the forest. I love having a full-time, personal audience.

When I say I’m in love with you I mean I love being your mystery, your riddle, being what keeps you up at night, your obsession. I love being your altar, your sacrament, your icon, your miracle. I love being your answer. I love being the object of your sacrifice. I love being your pain.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. Keeping you mine.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with breathing your air, sucking your blood, eating your dreams. I’m in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared... ."

[KarmasReal]

Wow,

That was a powerful thing to read. It truly feels like me ex could have written that. Some of the words and even phrases she has used before. It actually gave me chills. I recommend anyone to read this, this really is a true interpretation of a love letter they would write. Thank you for posting this. 

[JerryRG]

Very revealing sadmike1

This helps me understand my exgf and the reason they are never happy, instead of doing the difficult work to establish a healthy relationship they just fall in love with love and wonder why nothing lasts.

Thanks for posting this

[Hadlee]

I agree with KarmasReal, that was powerful to read.  And quite sad really.  I just cannot imagine what it would be like to not have a fully formed self.  The concept is just so foreign to me.

When I say I’m in love with you, I love having someone beautiful to wear, like a new outfit.

This is very interesting.  I recently met a girl, who has been studying to become a social worker.  She was talking about Personality Disorders and said her lecturer explained it as... ."When we wake up in the morning, we look in our closet to find an outfit to wear.  A person with a Personality Disorder will look for a personality to wear."

How truly tragic that is.

[Ahoy]

"No one loves Kanye as much as Kanye loves Kanye"

[Makersmarksman]

Thats terrifying honestly.

Notice it never says, "when I say I love you, I mean I love you." Oversimplification, sure but I personally would rather just read that... .

[Mutt]

Thats terrifying honestly.

iI sadmike1,

I agree, that is terrifying. I just want to point out that it's a blog post from one person's perspective, one person isn't a representative of BPD.

Every person that suffers from BPD is a different person with different personalities and BPD traits.

[once removed]

as well, NPD is a very different disorder than BPD.

here is one perspective from a recovering person with BPD:

My Definition of Love - I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

[HostNoMore]

Wow!

A friend of mine is involved with a narcissist.  That letter is so similar to the ones she's read to me that he has written and things he has said to her it's chilling.  

My borderline had a narcissistic element to her too.  About a year and a half ago, I learned from her sister she had been diagnosed with BPD years before I met her.  Yeah, I just up and asked her what's wrong with your sister.

[troisette]

Hi sadmike

That is a chilling read. I read it twice and something didn't "ting" on  the second reading.

As it's doing the rounds on other forums, do you know if it is an authentic letter from a narcissist or something another person has written; their version of how a narcissist's mind works?... .

... .or am I naive; that a narcissist could write that with such a lack of self-awareness?

[khibomsis]

yup, that was a great description. Some people are co-morbid. My uNBPD mom was so self absorbed, I grew up thinking it was normal. That's how I ended up dating completely selfish people over and over again.