Hello HarleyRN,
To the group,
The DSM 5 classifications list ten types of personality disorder, two of which are “Borderline personality disorder” and “Narcissistic personality disorder”. The common descriptions make them appear to be quite distinct:
Borderline personality disorder: Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experiences rapidly fluctuating moods. Shifts rapidly between loving and hating. Sees self and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder has a persuasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.[27]
Narcissistic personality disorder: Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. Sees self as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings.
Similarities
Both of these disorders are the result of an incompletely formed sense of self. This results from poor or incomplete individuation. Healthy and secure separation from parents or caregivers means coming to see oneself as an independent being. The crucial time for this phase of development is thought to be around 18 months to 3 years (which coincides, quite logically, with the terrible twos).
Both narcissists and borderlines grow up needing to define themselves in terms of other people in order to feel viable. The narcissist constructs a facade or false self built on feeling and being seen as better than others. The narcissist depends on others to affirm his or her specialness and seeks out people and situations that support this illusion. The borderline attaches to another person who may be seen as a potential of savior. The other person is necessary in order for the borderline to feel safe from abandonment and to fill a void.
Both narcissists and borderlines lack the self-awareness of an “observing ego”. That is they have difficulty reflecting on what they feel or need or want and are likely to be dishonest, avoidant or manipulative rather than clear and assertive. They act from an incomplete sense of agency or efficacy and may be impulsive and unpredictable.
Underlying both personality disorders is the potential for a complete meltdown in the face of any major challenge to their fragile adjustment. Under serious stress, both types decompensate and can become essentially non-functional.
With the deflated Narcissist this can take the form of extreme rage, suicidal despair or sociopathic acting out or some combination of these. This is the disgraced tycoon or the politician with a secret fetish. The severely decompensated borderline becomes emotional and self destructive to the point that he or she may appear to be psychotic. This is the person who finds out they have devoted their life to a sham or that their hero has feet of clay. The flimsy sense of self has disintegrated leaving a feeling of anihilation and an inability to cope.
In a milder form these are normal responses to adversity or victimization. And certainly they can be responses to acute trauma situations in people with no pre-existing issues.
Does your respective BPD have or had the following behavior ... .
Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Arrogance is another defense mechanism that keeps the legend in his or her own mind, free from the stain of the imperfection of other human beings. split, seeing themselves and others in black and white. They requires excessive admiration.
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
the group,
According to the largest study ever conducted on personality disorders (PD) by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), 5.9% of the U.S. population has BPD (Grant et al. 2008) and 6.2% has NPD (Stinson et al. 2008). As some people fit both diagnoses, about 10 percent of the U.S. population has BPD and/or NPD.
The post that HarleyRN put out for others to read is her personal expression of her own BPD experience. NO meme regardless of the subject should be taken for gospel at face value, it's a meme. Enclosed in part is the behavior of BOTH Narcissist & Borderline Disorders separately ... .as you can see they can and in fact do cross over to both PD. And as science, many Ph.d's & mental health experts agree these two PD can inhabit the brain at the same time of someone who suffers from the Cluster B Mental Illness. In addition those who suffer either one of these PD can & in fact do have in some cases have other PD's "Comorbidity", sometimes more than 2 at a time.
The meme is not "advice" but a statement. The only part that could be considered "advice" is "The only way to win is not to play". Some of those in the group can certainly relate to what is said in some of the lines. Such as the "Spider" comment, there are some in the group that do & will sacrifice themselves to an unhealthy level in order to show their respective BPD / pw/PD that they are there no matter what happens between them. There are some NON's that will give more than 51% of themselves to a BPD r/s and once you go down that path and it can lead to nothing good for the NON. So to some in groups the spider analogy is spot on. To others it is not ... .for HarleyRN she could relate to it so does that make it wrong for her to feel that way? It appears that in this short statement & meme that she is personally attacked for expressing in a very simple way how she personally felt in some way, shape or form to the group.
I for one can understand how she can express those feelings ... .I might or might not agree with all or part of her statement but that nevertheless does NOT make it less valuable to the group.
Thank you for sharing your meme & post HarleyRN ... .
J
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